paintedlady said: ThreadBare said: The stories I could tell ya. My twenties and early thirties were a straight-up romantic comedy. My best buddy keeps trying to get me to write about it. And, it wasn't like a "How to Be a Player" thing. It was romantic comedy. So would you say that men probably need to work harder at staying in a relationship? No, I think men and women need to work harder to be honest with themselves and their partners about what they're looking for. What does forever look like for you? What issues do you need to heal and grow from? What are your expectations of your partner/mate/spouse, with regard to your most vulnerable, naked self? Because, despite all the stuff men and women wind up squabbling about, we both check out of relationships when we no longer feel valued or safe. That's usually talked about as a feminine characteristic. Men feel that way, too; but we tend to express it differently. | |
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ThreadBare said: paintedlady said: So would you say that men probably need to work harder at staying in a relationship? No, I think men and women need to work harder to be honest with themselves and their partners about what they're looking for. What does forever look like for you? What issues do you need to heal and grow from? What are your expectations of your partner/mate/spouse, with regard to your most vulnerable, naked self? Because, despite all the stuff men and women wind up squabbling about, we both check out of relationships when we no longer feel valued or safe. That's usually talked about as a feminine characteristic. Men feel that way, too; but we tend to express it differently. when you're young and in love, forever looks very far away | |
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JasmineFire said: Even when I'm in a serious relationship I can still appreciate the beauty of another man. It doesn't mean that I want to be with the other man, just that I like looking at him.
There are many men who I find physically attractive but have no sexual/romantic interest in. When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal. No, it ain't. "I've seen the future, and it will be...." ... Columbo. | |
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ThreadBare said: JasmineFire said: Even when I'm in a serious relationship I can still appreciate the beauty of another man. It doesn't mean that I want to be with the other man, just that I like looking at him.
There are many men who I find physically attractive but have no sexual/romantic interest in. When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal. No, it ain't. "I've seen the future, and it will be...." ... Columbo. it's very normal to find celebrities attractive. at least he wears his clothes. unlike a certain other orger's celebrity crush. | |
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JasmineFire said: ThreadBare said: No, he ain't. "I've seen the future, and it will be...." ... Columbo. it's very normal to find celebrities attractive. at least he wears his clothes. unlike a certain other orger's celebrity crush. She wears clothes!!! [Edited 7/1/08 20:41pm] | |
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ThreadBare said: JasmineFire said: it's very normal to find celebrities attractive. at least he wears his clothes. unlike a certain other orger's celebrity crush. She wears clothes!!! [Edited 7/1/08 20:41pm] sure...i'm sure she wears clothes optionally. | |
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JasmineFire said: When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.
I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed. I could just be extremely fussy? For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps? THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps | |
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ZombieKitten said: JasmineFire said: When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.
I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed. I could just be extremely fussy? For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps? THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps When I am in love I only notice personalities, I don't focus on looks since I have what I want. Does that make any sense? [Edited 7/1/08 20:52pm] | |
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ZombieKitten said: JasmineFire said: When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.
I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed. I could just be extremely fussy? For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps? THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps That's the kind of stuff I notice. I'm similar to you in that in order to be truly attracted to someone, I have to know them and click with them on a certain level. That kind of true attraction is rare for me. However, I don't need to get to know a man who looks good in his jeans when all I want to do is look at him in his jeans. He may be a jerk but that really doesn't matter to me because I'm not really interested in getting to know him when I have a perfectly good man at home. | |
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JasmineFire said: ZombieKitten said: I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed. I could just be extremely fussy? For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps? THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps That's the kind of stuff I notice. I'm similar to you in that in order to be truly attracted to someone, I have to know them and click with them on a certain level. That kind of true attraction is rare for me. However, I don't need to get to know a man who looks good in his jeans when all I want to do is look at him in his jeans. He may be a jerk but that really doesn't matter to me because I'm not really interested in getting to know him when I have a perfectly good man at home. It's possible the male form doesn't really do it for me anyway, so an attractive guy would rarely even catch my attention, it might be more the way he moves, or the context I imagine him in. I have a group of guy friends that I love dearly, and we click on many levels, and have the best fun, but am I attracted to any of them? nope | |
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ZombieKitten said: JasmineFire said: That's the kind of stuff I notice. I'm similar to you in that in order to be truly attracted to someone, I have to know them and click with them on a certain level. That kind of true attraction is rare for me. However, I don't need to get to know a man who looks good in his jeans when all I want to do is look at him in his jeans. He may be a jerk but that really doesn't matter to me because I'm not really interested in getting to know him when I have a perfectly good man at home. It's possible the male form doesn't really do it for me anyway, so an attractive guy would rarely even catch my attention, it might be more the way he moves, or the context I imagine him in. I have a group of guy friends that I love dearly, and we click on many levels, and have the best fun, but am I attracted to any of them? nope you sound exactly like my best friend from vet school. In fact, I think she told me the same thing once. She believes that if it wasn't for her husband (who is an awesome guy) she would probably be with a woman. That may not be the case for you, but the two of you sound similar is all. she's amazing and so are you. | |
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paintedlady said: ZombieKitten said: I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed. I could just be extremely fussy? For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps? THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps When I am in love I only notice personalities, I don't focus on looks since I have what I want. Does that make any sense? Say you had a guy friend (who you like because of their personality), who you found out was crushing on you, if he is nice looking as well as nice; If you are in love at the time, this would make you feel uncomfortable. If you aren't in love, then that just might get you thinking I reckon! | |
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JasmineFire said: ZombieKitten said: It's possible the male form doesn't really do it for me anyway, so an attractive guy would rarely even catch my attention, it might be more the way he moves, or the context I imagine him in. I have a group of guy friends that I love dearly, and we click on many levels, and have the best fun, but am I attracted to any of them? nope you sound exactly like my best friend from vet school. In fact, I think she told me the same thing once. She believes that if it wasn't for her husband (who is an awesome guy) she would probably be with a woman. That may not be the case for you, but the two of you sound similar is all. she's amazing and so are you. I feel asexual these days | |
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I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy. | |
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ZombieKitten said: JasmineFire said: you sound exactly like my best friend from vet school. In fact, I think she told me the same thing once. She believes that if it wasn't for her husband (who is an awesome guy) she would probably be with a woman. That may not be the case for you, but the two of you sound similar is all. she's amazing and so are you. I feel asexual these days believe me when i say that i know how you feel. | |
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paintedlady said: I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy.
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet smells like someone I like | |
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ZombieKitten said: paintedlady said: I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy.
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet smells like someone I like I remember when I was still living in New York and still in love with my ex boyfriend, I used to smell him everywhere. He must have worn a popular colonge. It was torture for a while. | |
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ZombieKitten said: paintedlady said: I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy.
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet smells like someone I like Last week in the supermarket (yeah, yeah, JF, whatever...) I walked by a woman wearing my favorite female fragrance... I kept on to my previously scheduled aisle. | |
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ThreadBare said: ZombieKitten said: I got an aftershave sample in my wallet smells like someone I like Last week in the supermarket (yeah, yeah, JF, whatever...) I walked by a woman wearing my favorite female fragrance... I kept on to my previously scheduled aisle. what's your favorite fragrance? | |
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JasmineFire said: ThreadBare said: Last week in the supermarket (yeah, yeah, JF, whatever...) I walked by a woman wearing my favorite female fragrance... I kept on to my previously scheduled aisle. what's your favorite fragrance? On a woman, it can vary, but if it blends with her chemistry, Samsara by Guerlain rocks the house. | |
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ThreadBare said: JasmineFire said: what's your favorite fragrance? On a woman, it can vary, but if it blends with her chemistry, Samsara by Guerlain rocks the house. i don't like the bottle. | |
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JasmineFire said: ThreadBare said: On a woman, it can vary, but if it blends with her chemistry, Samsara by Guerlain rocks the house. i don't like the bottle. Focus, J. Focus... | |
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JasmineFire said: ZombieKitten said: I got an aftershave sample in my wallet smells like someone I like I remember when I was still living in New York and still in love with my ex boyfriend, I used to smell him everywhere. He must have worn a popular colonge. It was torture for a while. @ the two of you... | |
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ThreadBare said: JasmineFire said: i don't like the bottle. Focus, J. Focus... it looks like something elizabeth taylor created. Let's see if wikipedia has something to say about it...oh man, apparently it's a religious concept. Is this a part of your grand plan to get me to go to church? | |
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JasmineFire said: ThreadBare said: Focus, J. Focus... it looks like something elizabeth taylor created. Let's see if wikipedia has something to say about it...oh man, apparently it's a religious concept. Is this a part of your grand plan to get me to go to church? No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation. Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan. My pancakes would be. Stop jacking the thread!! | |
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still no other men answered the question
smart guys!!! | |
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ThreadBare said: JasmineFire said: it looks like something elizabeth taylor created. Let's see if wikipedia has something to say about it...oh man, apparently it's a religious concept. Is this a part of your grand plan to get me to go to church? No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation. Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan. My pancakes would be. Stop jacking the thread!! no reincarnation? i can make my own pancakes. | |
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JasmineFire said: ThreadBare said: No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation. Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan. My pancakes would be. Stop jacking the thread!! no reincarnation? i can make my own pancakes. You think reincarnation's knocked, you should see the wrap snakes get in most churches... j/k I make a mean dinner. | |
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JasmineFire said: ThreadBare said: No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation. Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan. My pancakes would be. Stop jacking the thread!! no reincarnation? i can make my own pancakes. I make really good ones, though they would be crepes actually | |
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ThreadBare said: JasmineFire said: no reincarnation? i can make my own pancakes. You think reincarnation's knocked, you should see the wrap snakes get in most churches... j/k I make a mean dinner. and i can order out with the skill of a professional. i don't wanna go to church! | |
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