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Reply #30 posted 07/01/08 8:33pm

ThreadBare

paintedlady said:

ThreadBare said:


The stories I could tell ya. My twenties and early thirties were a straight-up romantic comedy. My best buddy keeps trying to get me to write about it.

And, it wasn't like a "How to Be a Player" thing. It was romantic comedy. falloff

So would you say that men probably need to work harder at staying in a relationship?


No, I think men and women need to work harder to be honest with themselves and their partners about what they're looking for. What does forever look like for you? What issues do you need to heal and grow from? What are your expectations of your partner/mate/spouse, with regard to your most vulnerable, naked self?

Because, despite all the stuff men and women wind up squabbling about, we both check out of relationships when we no longer feel valued or safe. That's usually talked about as a feminine characteristic.

Men feel that way, too; but we tend to express it differently.
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Reply #31 posted 07/01/08 8:35pm

ZombieKitten

ThreadBare said:

paintedlady said:


So would you say that men probably need to work harder at staying in a relationship?


No, I think men and women need to work harder to be honest with themselves and their partners about what they're looking for. What does forever look like for you? What issues do you need to heal and grow from? What are your expectations of your partner/mate/spouse, with regard to your most vulnerable, naked self?

Because, despite all the stuff men and women wind up squabbling about, we both check out of relationships when we no longer feel valued or safe. That's usually talked about as a feminine characteristic.

Men feel that way, too; but we tend to express it differently.


when you're young and in love, forever looks very far away sad
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Reply #32 posted 07/01/08 8:37pm

ThreadBare

JasmineFire said:

Even when I'm in a serious relationship I can still appreciate the beauty of another man. It doesn't mean that I want to be with the other man, just that I like looking at him.

There are many men who I find physically attractive but have no sexual/romantic interest in.

When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.




No, it ain't.


"I've seen the future, and it will be...."



... Columbo.
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Reply #33 posted 07/01/08 8:39pm

JasmineFire

ThreadBare said:

JasmineFire said:

Even when I'm in a serious relationship I can still appreciate the beauty of another man. It doesn't mean that I want to be with the other man, just that I like looking at him.

There are many men who I find physically attractive but have no sexual/romantic interest in.

When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.




No, it ain't.


"I've seen the future, and it will be...."



... Columbo.

it's very normal to find celebrities attractive.


at least he wears his clothes. unlike a certain other orger's celebrity crush.
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Reply #34 posted 07/01/08 8:40pm

ThreadBare

JasmineFire said:

ThreadBare said:





No, he ain't. lol


"I've seen the future, and it will be...."



... Columbo.

it's very normal to find celebrities attractive.


at least he wears his clothes. unlike a certain other orger's celebrity crush.


She wears clothes!!! mad
[Edited 7/1/08 20:41pm]
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Reply #35 posted 07/01/08 8:44pm

JasmineFire

ThreadBare said:

JasmineFire said:


it's very normal to find celebrities attractive.


at least he wears his clothes. unlike a certain other orger's celebrity crush.


She wears clothes!!! mad
[Edited 7/1/08 20:41pm]

sure...i'm sure she wears clothes optionally.
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Reply #36 posted 07/01/08 8:46pm

ZombieKitten

JasmineFire said:

When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.


I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it confuse at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed.
I could just be extremely fussy? shrug
For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps?

THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps redface
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Reply #37 posted 07/01/08 8:49pm

paintedlady

avatar

ZombieKitten said:

JasmineFire said:

When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.


I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it confuse at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed.
I could just be extremely fussy? shrug
For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps?

THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps redface


When I am in love I only notice personalities, I don't focus on looks since I have what I want. Does that make any sense? lol
[Edited 7/1/08 20:52pm]
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Reply #38 posted 07/01/08 8:50pm

JasmineFire

ZombieKitten said:

JasmineFire said:

When people say things like "I only have eyes for my significant other!" I tend to think they are lying. In fact, I know they are. Because even if you are with the finest man in the world, there is always that one celebrity or whatever who you think it hot. It's normal.


I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it confuse at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed.
I could just be extremely fussy? shrug
For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps?

THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps redface


That's the kind of stuff I notice.

I'm similar to you in that in order to be truly attracted to someone, I have to know them and click with them on a certain level. That kind of true attraction is rare for me.

However, I don't need to get to know a man who looks good in his jeans when all I want to do is look at him in his jeans. He may be a jerk but that really doesn't matter to me because I'm not really interested in getting to know him when I have a perfectly good man at home.
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Reply #39 posted 07/01/08 8:53pm

ZombieKitten

JasmineFire said:

ZombieKitten said:



I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it confuse at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed.
I could just be extremely fussy? shrug
For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps?

THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps redface


That's the kind of stuff I notice.

I'm similar to you in that in order to be truly attracted to someone, I have to know them and click with them on a certain level. That kind of true attraction is rare for me.

However, I don't need to get to know a man who looks good in his jeans when all I want to do is look at him in his jeans. He may be a jerk but that really doesn't matter to me because I'm not really interested in getting to know him when I have a perfectly good man at home.


It's possible the male form doesn't really do it for me anyway, so an attractive guy would rarely even catch my attention, it might be more the way he moves, or the context I imagine him in.
I have a group of guy friends that I love dearly, and we click on many levels, and have the best fun, but am I attracted to any of them? nope lol

dead
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Reply #40 posted 07/01/08 8:55pm

JasmineFire

ZombieKitten said:

JasmineFire said:



That's the kind of stuff I notice.

I'm similar to you in that in order to be truly attracted to someone, I have to know them and click with them on a certain level. That kind of true attraction is rare for me.

However, I don't need to get to know a man who looks good in his jeans when all I want to do is look at him in his jeans. He may be a jerk but that really doesn't matter to me because I'm not really interested in getting to know him when I have a perfectly good man at home.


It's possible the male form doesn't really do it for me anyway, so an attractive guy would rarely even catch my attention, it might be more the way he moves, or the context I imagine him in.
I have a group of guy friends that I love dearly, and we click on many levels, and have the best fun, but am I attracted to any of them? nope lol

dead

you sound exactly like my best friend from vet school. In fact, I think she told me the same thing once. She believes that if it wasn't for her husband (who is an awesome guy) she would probably be with a woman. That may not be the case for you, but the two of you sound similar is all.

she's amazing and so are you.

lol hug
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Reply #41 posted 07/01/08 8:56pm

ZombieKitten

paintedlady said:

ZombieKitten said:



I used to sit in a cafe or the beach or somewhere and make a mental note to count hotties. I would never see even one. If I was with girlfriends they would point out potential talent to me, but I couldn't see it confuse at a pub recently, a girl dragged me all around the place to present me with the guy she thought was the hottest thing in town. I was non-plussed.
I could just be extremely fussy? shrug
For me the physical attraction actually comes AFTER knowing someone. If I meet someone and we click humour/intelligence wise, and I get an inkling they like me, they become VERY attractive and sexy to me. That is usually something I wouldn't be seeking out when "in love". That is more the female way perhaps?

THOUGH having said that, now that I don't feel so in love any more, I do notice men. I saw a guy pushing a stroller with a kid in it, and noticed his biceps redface


When I am in love I only notice personalities, I don't focus on looks since I have what I want. Does that make any sense? lol



Say you had a guy friend (who you like because of their personality), who you found out was crushing on you, if he is nice looking as well as nice;
If you are in love at the time, this would make you feel uncomfortable.
If you aren't in love, then that just might get you thinking I reckon!
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Reply #42 posted 07/01/08 8:57pm

ZombieKitten

JasmineFire said:

ZombieKitten said:



It's possible the male form doesn't really do it for me anyway, so an attractive guy would rarely even catch my attention, it might be more the way he moves, or the context I imagine him in.
I have a group of guy friends that I love dearly, and we click on many levels, and have the best fun, but am I attracted to any of them? nope lol

dead

you sound exactly like my best friend from vet school. In fact, I think she told me the same thing once. She believes that if it wasn't for her husband (who is an awesome guy) she would probably be with a woman. That may not be the case for you, but the two of you sound similar is all.

she's amazing and so are you.

lol hug


kiss2 batting eyes tease

I feel asexual these days lol
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Reply #43 posted 07/01/08 8:59pm

paintedlady

avatar

I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy. lol
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Reply #44 posted 07/01/08 9:00pm

JasmineFire

ZombieKitten said:

JasmineFire said:


you sound exactly like my best friend from vet school. In fact, I think she told me the same thing once. She believes that if it wasn't for her husband (who is an awesome guy) she would probably be with a woman. That may not be the case for you, but the two of you sound similar is all.

she's amazing and so are you.

lol hug


kiss2 batting eyes tease

I feel asexual these days lol


lol believe me when i say that i know how you feel.
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Reply #45 posted 07/01/08 9:02pm

ZombieKitten

paintedlady said:

I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy. lol

falloff
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet boxed smells like someone I like
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Reply #46 posted 07/01/08 9:04pm

JasmineFire

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy. lol

falloff
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet boxed smells like someone I like

I remember when I was still living in New York and still in love with my ex boyfriend, I used to smell him everywhere. He must have worn a popular colonge. It was torture for a while.
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Reply #47 posted 07/01/08 9:05pm

ThreadBare

ZombieKitten said:

paintedlady said:

I am attracted to smells. I remembered one time this guy I was measuring for a suit smelled like David and I just kept leaning in during the entire fitting. Lawd... he smelled so good, and I was so in love at the time. Darn near molested the poor guy. lol

falloff
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet boxed smells like someone I like


Last week in the supermarket (yeah, yeah, JF, whatever...) I walked by a woman wearing my favorite female fragrance... mushy I kept on to my previously scheduled aisle.
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Reply #48 posted 07/01/08 9:07pm

JasmineFire

ThreadBare said:

ZombieKitten said:


falloff
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet boxed smells like someone I like


Last week in the supermarket (yeah, yeah, JF, whatever...) I walked by a woman wearing my favorite female fragrance... mushy I kept on to my previously scheduled aisle.

what's your favorite fragrance?
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Reply #49 posted 07/01/08 9:10pm

ThreadBare

JasmineFire said:

ThreadBare said:



Last week in the supermarket (yeah, yeah, JF, whatever...) I walked by a woman wearing my favorite female fragrance... mushy I kept on to my previously scheduled aisle.

what's your favorite fragrance?

On a woman, it can vary, but if it blends with her chemistry, Samsara by Guerlain rocks the house. redface

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Reply #50 posted 07/01/08 9:11pm

JasmineFire

ThreadBare said:

JasmineFire said:


what's your favorite fragrance?

On a woman, it can vary, but if it blends with her chemistry, Samsara by Guerlain rocks the house. redface


i don't like the bottle. confused
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Reply #51 posted 07/01/08 9:18pm

ThreadBare

JasmineFire said:

ThreadBare said:


On a woman, it can vary, but if it blends with her chemistry, Samsara by Guerlain rocks the house. redface


i don't like the bottle. confused

Focus, J.

Focus... lol
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Reply #52 posted 07/01/08 9:19pm

paintedlady

avatar

JasmineFire said:

ZombieKitten said:


falloff
I got an aftershave sample in my wallet boxed smells like someone I like

I remember when I was still living in New York and still in love with my ex boyfriend, I used to smell him everywhere. He must have worn a popular colonge. It was torture for a while.

@ the two of you... lol
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Reply #53 posted 07/01/08 9:23pm

JasmineFire

ThreadBare said:

JasmineFire said:


i don't like the bottle. confused

Focus, J.

Focus... lol

it looks like something elizabeth taylor created.

boxed

Let's see if wikipedia has something to say about it...oh man, apparently it's a religious concept.

Is this a part of your grand plan to get me to go to church? hmmm
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Reply #54 posted 07/01/08 9:27pm

ThreadBare

JasmineFire said:

ThreadBare said:


Focus, J.

Focus... lol

it looks like something elizabeth taylor created.

boxed

Let's see if wikipedia has something to say about it...oh man, apparently it's a religious concept.

Is this a part of your grand plan to get me to go to church? hmmm


No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation.

Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan.

My pancakes would be. lurking

Stop jacking the thread!! mad
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Reply #55 posted 07/01/08 9:27pm

ZombieKitten

still no other men answered the question

smart guys!!! lol
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Reply #56 posted 07/01/08 9:28pm

JasmineFire

ThreadBare said:

JasmineFire said:


it looks like something elizabeth taylor created.

boxed

Let's see if wikipedia has something to say about it...oh man, apparently it's a religious concept.

Is this a part of your grand plan to get me to go to church? hmmm


No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation.

Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan.

My pancakes would be. lurking

Stop jacking the thread!! mad

no reincarnation?

i can make my own pancakes.

pout
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Reply #57 posted 07/01/08 9:31pm

ThreadBare

JasmineFire said:

ThreadBare said:



No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation.

Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan.

My pancakes would be. lurking

Stop jacking the thread!! mad

no reincarnation?

i can make my own pancakes.

pout

You think reincarnation's knocked, you should see the wrap snakes get in most churches... j/k

I make a mean dinner.
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Reply #58 posted 07/01/08 9:31pm

ZombieKitten

JasmineFire said:

ThreadBare said:



No, my churches don't subscribe to reincarnation.

Perfume wouldn't be part of my grand plan.

My pancakes would be. lurking

Stop jacking the thread!! mad

no reincarnation?

i can make my own pancakes.

pout


I make really good ones, though they would be crepes actually drool
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Reply #59 posted 07/01/08 9:32pm

JasmineFire

ThreadBare said:

JasmineFire said:


no reincarnation?

i can make my own pancakes.

pout

You think reincarnation's knocked, you should see the wrap snakes get in most churches... j/k

I make a mean dinner.

and i can order out with the skill of a professional.

i don't wanna go to church! bawl
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