A Tribute to Jack Bauer

• Jack Bauer broke into the Russian Consulate and got captured because he thought it would be fun to compare Russian prisons with Chinese prisons.

• Most people would need months to recover from 20 months of Chinese interrogation. Jack Bauer needs a shower, a shave and a change of clothes.

• The city of Los Angeles once named a street after Jack Bauer in gratitude for his saving the city several times. They had to rename it after people kept dying when they tried to cross the street. No one crosses Jack Bauer and lives.

• Professor Charles Xavier from X-Men once tried to read Jack Bauer's mind. Now he's sitting in a wheel chair.

• When a convicted terrorist was sentenced to face Jack Bauer, he appealed to have the sentence reduced to death.

• There are three leading causes of death among terrorists. The first two are Jack Bauer, and the third one is heart attack from hearing Jack Bauer is coming for them.

• Withholding information from Jack Bauer is now classified as a suicide attempt.

• Once, someone tried to tell Jack Bauer a "knock knock" joke. Jack Bauer found out who was there, who they worked for, and where the goddamned bomb was.

• Jack Bauer definitely loves his daughter; he wouldn't let anyone else who made that many stupid decisions live.

• Passed out, surrounded by terrorists and nerve gas, and handcuffed to a table leg, Jack Bauer laughed to himself and said, "I have them right where I want them."

• If Jack Bauer was president, he would protect the secret service.

• Jack Bauers calender goes from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Jack Bauer.

• Jack Bauer does not get taken prisoner. He puts himself in a disadvantageous position so as to make his next several killings more dramatic.

• The 2007 budget for the US Military covers Jack Bauer, two pistols and four billion rounds of ammunition.

• Jack Bauer quit for just five minutes, and a nuclear bomb went off.

• Jack Bauer once forgot where he put his keys. He then spent the next half-hour torturing himself until he gave up the location of the keys.

• Chained to a chair, tortured, and with the threat of death hanging over him, Jack just wanted something to eat.

• Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone.

• If it tastes like chicken, looks like chicken, and feels like chicken, but Jack Bauer says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

• Jack Bauer thinks the word mercy just means "quick interrogation."

• 1.6 billion Chinese are angry with Jack Bauer. Sounds like a fair fight.

• Superman wears Jack Bauer pajamas.

• When Santa Claus asked Jack Bauer what he wanted for Christmas, he snapped his neck. No one interrogates Jack Bauer and gets away with it.

• Jack Bauer sleeps with a pillow under his gun.

• When Kim Bauer lost her virginity, Jack Bauer found it and put it back.

• ...and on the seventh day Jack Bauer said, "I'll take it from here."

• Only Jack Bauer can fly a plane from the luggage compartment.

• Jack Bauer played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won.

• Jack Bauer has the heart of a terrorist. He keeps it in a jar on his desk.

• The Berlin Wall fell because Jack Bauer needed to get to the other side.

• Jack Bauer once won a game of Connect 4 in 3 moves.

• Tony was once shot in the neck, rushed to the hospital, underwent emergency surgery and was back on the job in just a few hours. Jack Bauer still can't believe that pussy went to the hospital first.

• Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite. Jack Bauer laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

• Jack Bauer doesn't speak any foreign languages, but he can make any foreigner speak English in a matter of minutes.

• When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out.

• Jack Bauer doesn't miss. If he didn't hit you it's because he was shooting at another terrorist twelve miles away.

• Don't ever ask Jack Bauer what is going on. He'll explain in the car.

Love '24'! Thanks!

Jack can easily kill Chuck Norris with both hands tied behinds his back AND blindfoled

Jack Bauer is so awesome!

gotta love jack.

when is 24 coming back? i miss it.

angelcat said:

Season 9 starts January 2009 (unless there will be an actors strike ), a two-hour prequel movie will air November 2008.
[Edited 6/29/08 2:27am]

I think you mean Season 7 Anyway I just hope that with the changes they have made to it that it will get back to being a very good show!

*Spoilers to an extent*













Although with Tony coming back from the dead it could be a bit silly, it depends on how they come up with the story of his non death

calldapplwondery83 said:

i can't wait. t.v. is so crap at the moment.

Love me Jack Bauer, but I am one of the ones who can not sit through the show anymore. The format is tired IMOHO. I think what they ought to have done a while back was switch the action over to someone else like Tony or even Chloe (I loved the hour when it was focused on her a season or two ago). I also hate all of the in-house bitching and agendas and back-stabbing.

superspaceboy said:

it can be a little predictable in that you know that someone in the office is going to be bad. but still good in my book.

i had heard that they might set a new series as a prequel, before his life turned to crap.

I would love to see a show about Jack Bauer when he was in Bosnia...although there is a comic (24 Nightfall) which does that story (and its very good) it would still translate into an awesome show. Also President Palmer would be back too

I don't think it would be a full 24 episode season tho, but that wouldn't faze me because I prefer shorter seasons of shows. I think too much filler crap can go on, which is whats happened to the last 2 seasons of 24 unfortunately

the modern day McGuyver!!!

McGuyver!? Jack is 100 times more hardcore than that pussy I mean has McGuyver ever been tortured until he has flatlined then been brought back to life and then break free and escape his captors?

kcwm said:

i did say modern day

kcwm said:

true.


but could he also do it, if Chuck were not tied and blindfolded?

prb said:

Nah if his a modern day anything his John McLean from Die Hard. Jack doesn't rely on making bullshit devices out of nothing like McGuyver does, he just lets his guns do the talking

MrSmoketoomuch said:

superspaceboy said:

in my opinion, a man can only save the world 2 times.....24 lost me after season 3!

kcwm said:

Ohhhhh- John Mclean

i saw Mcguyver on the simpsons when i posted originally