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PrintableFunkMistress said: blueblossom said: Teenage anst eh? Well she is 13 - a teenager alright but in a lot of ways a little girl and (may be Daddy's little girl). As when treating a small child, when a new sibling comes on the scene, you take the time to make your girl feel special - it may be feels a bit left out of the scene at the moment. You will also have to take the time and talk to her and LISTEN to what she says and may be take a few things on board. Listen to her as if she is an adult and if there are issues which you dont agree with explain your views and ask her opinion on them. Also, you will have to start re-thinking your boundaries as far as she is concerned. Also give her responsibilities not just to do with the house (tidying room etc) but get her involved in the baby. Do you give her pocket money - this is another responsibility which is useful because it teaches money sense. Also - I have to say this - do not tolerate disrespect in any way shape or form. This I have to say goes for your wife as well. She has to respect your Daughter and the way that she feels now. If you want respect you have to give respect. As the adult in this scenario she will have to take the lead and the child will follow (hopefully). Wise words; I couldn't agree more. When I first met my adorable stepdaughter, she tested me - a lot. She was openly disrespectful, defiant and would refuse to listen to me. Instead of trying to be her friend, or worrying about being nice, I did not back down. I also did not get emotional and upset and yell at her. I remained calm and let her know, over and over, that the rules are the rules and her disrespect and defiance was not okay. I made sure to praise her and give her lots of hugs and affection when she was doing the right thing. I've been in her life for over a year now, and in her father's for almost two. Our relationship is wonderful. She doesn't question the rules or my authority anymore. She comes to me for cuddles and hugs all the time, and when it's time for her to go to her mom's house she puts her face in my neck and says "I don't want to go!" I still discipline her firmly (just as I do my biological kids) and she still doesn't like it, but I truly believe the saying about kids craving boundaries to be true. Like others have said, the responsibility is on the adult to remain calm and consistent at all times. When there is underlying jealousy and the adult isn't emotionally mature to do some self-examination, then the relationship may be beyond repair, and that's unfortunate. But if the grownup is brave enough to own their shit, remember what it's like to be a kid, and act with compassion and strength, the relationship can be great. Very well put. Prince, in you I found a kindred spirit...Rest In Paradise. | |
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FunkMistress said: Like others have said, the responsibility is on the adult to remain calm and consistent at all times. When there is underlying jealousy and the adult isn't emotionally mature to do some self-examination, then the relationship may be beyond repair, and that's unfortunate. But if the grownup is brave enough to own their shit, remember what it's like to be a kid, and act with compassion and strength, the relationship can be great. your retarded.  | |
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JerseyKRS said: FunkMistress said: Like others have said, the responsibility is on the adult to remain calm and consistent at all times. When there is underlying jealousy and the adult isn't emotionally mature to do some self-examination, then the relationship may be beyond repair, and that's unfortunate. But if the grownup is brave enough to own their shit, remember what it's like to be a kid, and act with compassion and strength, the relationship can be great. your retarded. why? I think this is a very sensible attitude. Don't call people names without backing up your comments! Insults are also very childlike!  "I may not agree with what you say but I'll fight for your right to say it"
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blueblossom said: JerseyKRS said: your retarded. why? I think this is a very sensible attitude. Don't call people names without backing up your comments! Insults are also very childlike!  The Normal Whores Club | |
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FunkMistress said: blueblossom said: why? I think this is a very sensible attitude. Don't call people names without backing up your comments! Insults are also very childlike! I could smack his little hairy arse right now!!! He's such a norty boy! hee hee hee !!!!! (now I'm going up the wrong street with this one!!)  "I may not agree with what you say but I'll fight for your right to say it"
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blueblossom said: JerseyKRS said: your retarded. why? I think this is a very sensible attitude. Don't call people names without backing up your comments! Insults are also very childlike! don't tell me what to do!!  | |
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JerseyKRS said: blueblossom said: why? I think this is a very sensible attitude. Don't call people names without backing up your comments! Insults are also very childlike! don't tell me what to do!! tut tut tantrums...I'll have to put you in the time out corner hee hee he!!!! "I may not agree with what you say but I'll fight for your right to say it"
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blueblossom said: JerseyKRS said: your retarded. why? I think this is a very sensible attitude. Don't call people names without backing up your comments! Insults are also very childlike! preach!  | |
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thepope2the9s said: What are some of your experiences with this type of relationship?
I have a daughter and she and my wife havent gotten along in the last 5 years or so. My daughter is 13 now and my wife has known her since she was 4yrs old. They got along okay until my daughter was about 8 yrs old. Now it is even worse. Im in the middle. what to do? My dad's partner is nice, but it feels awkward around her though, we can't relate to each other. We have respect for one another, but then again they married recently and I'm in my 20's, so it's not like she's raised me or anything, she's just there My mom's partner is a nice guy, he likes to joke around and be sarcastic, so if they got married, I think I would be okay with it, but he's just like another uncle, not like a father figure or anything like that though my real dad is also a funny guy and that reminds me of him a bit. | |
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JerseyKRS said: blueblossom said: why? I think this is a very sensible attitude. Don't call people names without backing up your comments! Insults are also very childlike! don't tell me what to do!! For the record, blueblossom, we're kidding around. Jersey's my husband and a big fat clown.The Normal Whores Club | |
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JerseyKRS said: FunkMistress said: Like others have said, the responsibility is on the adult to remain calm and consistent at all times. When there is underlying jealousy and the adult isn't emotionally mature to do some self-examination, then the relationship may be beyond repair, and that's unfortunate. But if the grownup is brave enough to own their shit, remember what it's like to be a kid, and act with compassion and strength, the relationship can be great. your retarded.
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FunkMistress said: JerseyKRS said: don't tell me what to do!! For the record, blueblossom, we're kidding around. Jersey's my husband and a big fat clown.yeah I know....still needs a smack bum though!!! hee hee hee !!! "I may not agree with what you say but I'll fight for your right to say it"
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FunkMistress said: JerseyKRS said: don't tell me what to do!! For the record, blueblossom, we're kidding around. Jersey's my husband and a big fat. Damn girl, wear them pants!
 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: FunkMistress said: For the record, blueblossom, we're kidding around. Jersey's my husband and a big fat. Damn girl, wear them pants!
I didn't mean it like that!!!! The Normal Whores Club | |
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I have a lot of respect for step parents and step children situations. My own children can drive me crazy and test my limits, I can not even imagine going through what you guys are discribing.  | |
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FunkMistress said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Damn girl, wear them pants!
I didn't mean it like that!!!! ROFLMAO!!!!  "I may not agree with what you say but I'll fight for your right to say it"
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