A woman's revenge .. the drink ..

A girl and her boyfriend go to the pub. When it's the girl's turn to buy around, she tells him that
she's heard of a wonderful new drink he simply must try.

She returns with the usual half of lager for herself. For him, she has two glasses.
One contains a measure of Bailey's, the other lime juice.

Instructions: "OK, what you gotta do is, you gotta swig the Bailey's, hold it in your mouth,
and then drink the lime juice." He looks a bit dubious, but she's very enthusiastic so he decides to give it a go.

First the Bailey's; lovely smooth, creamy, warm feeling in the mouth.
Then he takes the lime juice.


T + 0.1 secs: The cream in the Bailey's curdles.

T + 0.3 secs: Boyfriend's face turns the color of fresh lime juice.

T + 0.6 secs: Boyfriend calms his stomach and swallows the gunge.

T + 1.5 secs: She whispers in his ear....

"It's called Blowjob revenge"

She's been sucking the wrong dicks.

Two men are sitting drinking at a bar at the top of the Empire State Building when the first man turns to the other and says, "You know, last week I discovered that if you jump from the top of this building, by the time you fall to the 10th floor, the winds around the building are so
intense that they carry you around the building and back into the window."

The bartender just shakes his head in disapproval while wiping the bar.

The second guy says, "What are you a nut? There is no way in hell that could happen."

"No, it's true," said the first man, let me prove it to you." He gets up from the bar, jumps over the balcony, and plummets to the street below. When he passes the 10th floor, the high wind whips him around the building and back into the 10th floor window and he takes the elevator back up to the bar.

He met the second man, who looked quite astonished. "You know, I saw that with my own eyes, but that must have been a one time fluke."

"No, I'll prove it again," says the first man as he jumps. Again just as he is hurling toward the street, the 10th floor wind gently carries him around the building and into the window.

Once upstairs he urges his fellow drinker to try it. "Well, what the hell," the second guy says, "it works, I'll try it!" He jumps over the balcony plunges downward, passes the 11th, 10th, 9th, 8th floors ...and hits the sidewalk with a 'splat.'

Back upstairs the Bartender turns to the other drinker, saying "You know, Superman, you're a real asshole when you're drunk."

Little Sally came home from school with a smile on her face and told her mother, 'Frankie Brown showed me his weenie today!'
Before the mother could raise a concern, Sally went on to say, 'It reminded me of a peanut.'
Relaxing with a hidden smile, Sally's Mom asked, 'Really small, was it?'
Sally replied, 'No... salty!'
Mom fainted.

InsatiableCream said:

InsatiableCream said:

oh god

Ocean said:

InsatiableCream said:

shite

InsatiableCream said:

HA!