Yesterday I received a forwarded email from somebody on this site that I've felt close with, not for very long but close. Obviously I won't disclose who it is regardless of how I feel about this but I'm in complete shock. I didn't see this coming at all, I didn't think this person was like that. I wrote an immediate response telling this person I took great offense to what they wrote and that I didn't appreciate it at all. Then I got a reply back in which they dug an even deeper hole and I decided to bury our friendship in that hole, I wrote a long-ass reply on the issues and then I told them goodbye.

Has something like this ever happened to you with people from this site? I once had a person spending a week on my couch but I found out that they felt that homosexuality was a disease and that "mixed" marriages (fuck it, there's only one race!) were wrong. If that hadn't been on the last day they would've enjoyed the short flight down from my balcony, I swear. I just don't stand for bullshit like that. I feel sad about the friendship ending but I'm still amazed (in a bad way) that I was so mistaken about the person. I'm usually a better judge of character than this.
:noracists:

What's the use of this thread? I understand why you won't mention his/her name, but isn't it wiser to just ignore this person 100 % and not giving him/her the time of day?

Don't you think this person will be giggling while reading this thread???


Just sayin'.....

abierman said:

I don't care if they read it or not really, it's a reflection of how badly I judged this person's character and my sadness. Also as you might see there's a question to other orgers towards the end. I know they won't be giggling cos they don't think they're racist, it just so happens that black people and illegal immigrants get everything and white people don't. According to them it's the unbiased reality of the US.

Teacher said:

I've never gotten a message like that from anyone here, but my own sister forwarded something to me that I took great offense to, and now we're in the midst of a major falling out....just trips me out that in 2008 people still run and hide behind that type of thinking....

sad, really....

I'm trying to think if this has ever happened to me...but that sucks.

Misjudging people? That's the story of my life! There have been many who were not who I thought they were. Come to think of it they were men...


Oh shit!


This is for another thread...


Sorry Jen.

i have been in situations where i find things out about friends that i really wish i hadn't. It hasn't happened on this site in particular but it has happened in real life.

I had one situation with someone who i thought was my close friend until i found out that this person thought that black people were lazy and stupid. that didn't feel too good.

I recently had a situation at school where i found out that several of my colleauges believe that Barack Obama is a terrorist who is running for president so that he can blow up America. On the one hand I was angry and on the other hand I was wondering what the heck was going on.

so yeah, stuff like that happens and it sucks. How you deal with it is up to you. Personally, while I may never be quite as close with that person again, if they still want to continue the friendship then so will I. I will cherish the good in them, express my opinion about the beliefs that I am offended by or disagree with, maintain respect, and keep it moving.

reneGade20 said:

Wow, that's even worse. Way worse, I'm sorry you have to go through this. Yeah I feel the same way, that in this world today people wear their tinted glasses.

abierman said:

hokie said:

I usualy don't do it but I've misjudged one man...also from this site...maybe I shouldn't keep making friends and lovers on/from the Org?

Cinnie said:

yoú know me long enough, Colin!

BTW, did you like De Jeugd Van Tegenwoordig?????

JasmineFire said:

Much props to you being able to continue that friendship but I've never been able to with major things like this, it's just the way I am. I can't chitchat with them knowing they feel the way they do. Hell we even think of the people of the world in different terms - they think "race" and I think "skin colour".
Obama was one point of discussion, yes.

abierman said:

I didn't really enjoy it but I liked that it was shared with me?

abierman said:

@ Cinnie...nah, I ain't friends with Axel so it ain't him.

Yes, I have been disappointed in friendships where the person took an about face to the person I had gotten to know. Sad sad sad when that happens.

I haven't run into anyone here like that. I have a friend who had a really offensive "bumper sticker" on her Facebook. It was Piglet in black face carrying a watermelon and underneath it read Niglet. I was so shocked that my friend had that and that people actually find it funny. I haven't had a discussion with her about it yet. Not sure how I would even approach it.

Teacher said:

Thanks...but to say she's the oldest sib, she's going about the whole thing pretty childishly...I emailed her back when I got that message and pretty much read her the riot act...but after I said my piece, I was done with it....then I called my dad for Father's Day (he's lived with her since Katrina) and she answered the phone, recognized my voice and was just really shitty with me....meh...what can you do?

JasmineFire said:

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yes it is. I don't think it's sunk in yet, you know? I grew up with a closet-racist dad who did the "everybody I KNOW are ok, the rest are shit" thing and I never bought it, I always called him on it and the same with my friends when we were growing up and they were calling each other "fag" left and right, I blew right up on them and I defended my one friend who actually was gay. I probably didn't know quite what I was doing at the time but it was instinct, you know me well enough to know I won't shut the hell up but with this I'm proud of it. It would weight on me way more trying to continue this friendship knowing what I do about this person.

Teacher said:

PANDURITO said:

seriously....it was the most insane thing i have ever heard.

but i'll stop commenting on it now or else this thread will get moved to p&R with the quickness.

Teacher said:

Well, I think the one I've got from here is pretty good.

Something tells me I judged him right.

JuliePurplehead said:

That ain't funny. I'm glad I haven't had to face THAT yet, literally.

JasmineFire said:

Thanks for that I was going to say something about it too but I won't, it's not the individual issues that are important here.

hokie said:

I realise now that I've been DYING to say this for soooo long...





I "judged" him first.

I have a couple of friends who are racist in a subtle way. That is, they don't think they are and wouldn't admit it, but I can see prejudice. I just keep an eye on it. Even very liberal people have a shade of racism/sexism/homophobia. Maybe I do even. You can say you don't, but growing up in a racist/sexist/homophobic society...assumptions and feelings are hard to control. That's why I feel it's best to confront issues, discuss and bring them into the open. I don't call my friends on it, but I try to be vigilant with myself.

Anyhoo, overt racism rarely crosses my path. But yeah, a childhood friend recently put me on her email list and I started getting all kinds of conservative spam about "the liberals" and Obama being a terrorist. I was shocked. I replied politely that I disagreed, that Obama would make a great president. Then when it got to be too much, I asked her to take me off her email list.

She's still a friend though. For some reason, I have room for those with other viewpoints.

Teacher said:

Teacher said:

Maybe so, but he likes my judging the best. So much so that he wants to be judged by me forever.

this happens to me more at work than it does on the org or in social life. but i have come to expect it at work. sadly, nothing my co-workers say can shock me anymore.

Anxiety said:

makes me curious where you work....