WHY am I married????

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Thread started 06/16/08 4:57pm

SCNDLS

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WHY am I married????

In honor of my wedding dilemma, I thought I'd share some jokes about marriage. lol

You have two choices in life:
You can stay single and be miserable,
or get married and wish you were dead.
_____

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
_____

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:
"Husband Wanted".
Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."
_____

When a woman steals your husband,
there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
_____

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .
_____

A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?"
Father replied, "I don't know son, I'm still paying."
_____

A young son asked,
"Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa
a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?"
Dad replied, "That happens in every country, son."
_____

Then there was a woman who said,
"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married,
and by then, it was too late."
_____

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
_____

If you want your spouse to listen and
pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.
_____

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
_____

First guy says, "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy remarks, "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
_____

"A Woman's Prayer:
Dear Lord, I pray for: Wisdom to understand a man, to Love and to forgive him,
and for Patience for his moods.
Because Lord, if I pray for Strength I'll just beat him to death"
_____

AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man
as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies,
"If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up."

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Reply #1 posted 06/16/08 4:59pm

Mach	Funny My Mom doesn't know who I am today so the was nice TY
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Reply #2 posted 06/16/08 5:00pm

eVeRsOlEsA

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It isn't the load that breaks us down, it's the way we carry it.

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Reply #3 posted 06/16/08 5:04pm

SCNDLS

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Mach said:

Funny

My Mom doesn't know who I am today so the lol

was nice

TY rose

Awwwww, I'm sorry honey. hug

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Reply #4 posted 06/16/08 5:08pm

Mach	SCNDLS said: Mach said: Funny My Mom doesn't know who I am today so the was nice TY Awwwww, I'm sorry honey. Oh it's okay just happens a some days She keeps talking to me about her daughter "Missy" - I'm Missy
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Reply #5 posted 06/16/08 5:08pm

shanti0608	Mach said: SCNDLS said: Awwwww, I'm sorry honey. Oh it's okay just happens a some days She keeps talking to me about her daughter "Missy" - I'm Missy It is a crazy messed up disease. Sorry.
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Reply #6 posted 06/16/08 5:09pm

paintedlady

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Reply #7 posted 06/16/08 5:09pm

SCNDLS

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paintedlady said:

Hey, mamacita! wave

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Reply #8 posted 06/16/08 5:10pm

Mach	shanti0608 said: Mach said: Oh it's okay just happens a some days She keeps talking to me about her daughter "Missy" - I'm Missy It is a crazy messed up disease. Sorry. ~nods~ That it is But the jokes on this thread are so
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Reply #9 posted 06/16/08 5:10pm

SCNDLS

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Mach said:

shanti0608 said:

It is a crazy messed up disease.
Sorry.

~nods~ That it is

But the jokes on this thread are giggle

They made me giggle

too.

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Reply #10 posted 06/16/08 5:14pm

paintedlady

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SCNDLS said:

paintedlady said:

Hey, mamacita! wave

Hey sweetie, when I saw this thread title, I thought someone else (MG) started it boxed

sorry MG edit.
[Edited 6/16/08 10:14am]

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Reply #11 posted 06/16/08 6:11pm

veronikka	Mach said: SCNDLS said: Awwwww, I'm sorry honey. Oh it's okay just happens a some days She keeps talking to me about her daughter "Missy" - I'm Missy Rhythm floods my heart♥The melody it feeds my soul
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Reply #12 posted 06/16/08 6:19pm

PurpleRighteou
s1

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SCNDLS said:

AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!

Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children.
A blind man joins them after a few minutes.
When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and
only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus.
So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.
After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man
as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him,
"Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick?
That ticking sound is driving me crazy."
The blind man replies,
"If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut the hell up." [/i]

I graduated bitches!!! 12-19-09

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Reply #13 posted 06/16/08 6:23pm

FunkMistress

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Mach said:

Funny

My Mom doesn't know who I am today so the lol

was nice

TY rose

I flew back home for the weekend and for the first time my grandmother didn't know who I was.

CHICKENS ARE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO COCAINE, SILKY HEN.
The Normal Whores Club

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Reply #14 posted 06/16/08 11:38pm

babooshleeky

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Reply #15 posted 06/16/08 11:42pm

babooshleeky

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Mach said:

Funny

My Mom doesn't know who I am today so the lol

was nice

TY rose

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Reply #16 posted 06/16/08 11:45pm

ZombieKitten	FunkMistress said: Mach said: Funny My Mom doesn't know who I am today so the was nice TY I flew back home for the weekend and for the first time my grandmother didn't know who I was. oh man to you two
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Reply #17 posted 06/16/08 11:49pm

Mach	FunkMistress said: Mach said: Funny My Mom doesn't know who I am today so the was nice TY I flew back home for the weekend and for the first time my grandmother didn't know who I was. I remember the 1st time with my Grandmother too. She has been gone 25 yrs now TY babooshleeky & ZombieKitten too
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