Erm...I wouldnt go, if I didnt get an invite form the bride, groom or the family. Verbal invites from the groom's mum dont count imo. But thats just me.

LleeLlee said:

I completely agree, but her and the family made me feel stubborn for not considering it. Like I said, she put me on all of her invitation lists but the bride's people left folks off without telling her. I told her that maybe they were going over budget or something. She said that she's had a lot people that did get invitation say they couldn't make it. So they could have replaced those no's with people that didn't make the initial cut. Other than this there have been other instances of the bride's family purposely excluding the mother and her side of the family. Which is why she made the rehearsal dinner inclusive of people that weren't in the wedding party. She figured that since they were excluding her people from everything else she was going to make this event her own celebration with who she wanted there. I dunno, weddings can bring out the worst in people.

maybe show up to reception?
i don't know if i'd go to the actual ceremony

SCNDLS said:

Why would they not want you there? May I ask?

honeypot69 said:

I really don't think I was singled out. Apparently, the bride's fam left a lot of people that were specifically on the groom's list and didn't even tell her. So the mother's been getting calls for weeks from actual blood relatives that didn't get invited. I don't know the bride (I met her once last year and saw her 3 weeks ago for the 2nd time) but I've known the groom for over 10 years. In his defense, I don't think he's aware that his mother is being slighted. Most grooms don't keep track of stuff like the invitation list, that's usually coordinated by the mothers.

SCNDLS said:

Its not just her wedding. It takes two. If I were you I would go. And everyone else should to.

SCNDLS said:

Its not just her wedding. It takes two. If I were you I would go. And everyone else should to.

honeypot69 said:

I know right??? Actually, I got really close to this family when my best friend got married to her other son four years ago. I was the maid of honor (and the current groom was the best man) and my BF had 3 or 4 showers so I spent a lot of time with both families and really got to know them during that time. I helped coordinate the wedding and was in charge of the guest list and tracking the RSVPs in an Access database I created. (I know I'm a ) I was running reports showing exactly what our numbers were at all times to keep us on budget. The groom's mother was constantly adding people to the list. So, I'd tell my friend, you're going over budget. She'd tell the mother we need to cut some people because of the budget. And her response was always "How much more do you need? I can write you a check right now." That's why I KNOW this bride's family isn't communicating with her cuz she would have happily paid for extra people if that was needed.

honeypot69 said:

Yeah but some brides can turn into hellish impossible screaming banshees if they dont get their way. As soon as thyre married, they become normal again. I wasnt like that thank god (least I hope not)

.
[Edited 6/14/08 8:51am]

SCNDLS said:

Sounds like a control issue imo.

Erm...I wouldnt go, if I didnt get an invite form the bride, groom or the family. Verbal invites from the groom's mum dont count imo. But thats just me.

LleeLlee said:

That's too true, but apparently this chick hasn't done ANYTHING for her wedding. My BF asked her 3 weeks ago what her colors were and she didn't know. And they've been planning for 9 months. What woman worth her salt does NOT know her own wedding colors??? 95% of SINGLE women can tell you what their wedding colors WILL be.

I've been in that situation where I received an invitation to the ceremony (church) and the evening party. Totally oblivious to the fact there wasn't a reception mentioned, I was making agreements with other people attending and they said like .. ok, first the ceremony, then we can go for drinks and then the reception at 3pm. I was like there's a reception ?? I didn't go to the reception. Just made sure I ate everything I could at the evening party.

All in all, I wouldn't go. She's probably totally jealous of your shoe collection and doesn't have/want to budget to outshine you

BlueZebra said:

I think that's the way I'm leaning.

It's funny that you say that cuz the one time I met her last year was when I ran into the family at the symphony. And his mother and cousin went on about the shoes I had on that night for like 10 minutes. Then when I shook her hand when we were introduced she gave me that weak ass limp handed pageant handshake. I HATE that shit!

SCNDLS said:

DON'T GO !

SCNDLS said:

is she bad news for the groom ?
[Edited 6/14/08 9:12am]

maybe show up to reception?
i don't know if i'd go to the actual ceremony

Okay, so my best friend's husband's brother is getting married today but I didn't get an invitation. His entire family parents, aunts, uncles, cousins, know me and love me and want me to come to the wedding. However, the bride didn't send me an invitation so I'm not going. HIS family however wants me to attend. Although I think it's tacky to, should I go????

Here's some more info: The groom's mother, who is my best friend's mother-in-law called me within 2 weeks of the engagement, about 9 months ago, to get my current address because she wanted me there. However, I didn't realize I didn't get an invitation until about 3 weeks ago. Then a few days later I get an invitation from the groom's mother for the rehearsal dinner. I think this is kinda odd since I'm not in the wedding. So when I call to RSVP I mention, that I'd love to attend the dinner but I'm not invited to the wedding. She's all "Well honey you were on my list. But you're not the ONLY person I'm learning wasn't invited." She goes on to tell me she also invited me to the bridal shower a few weeks earlier, to which I ALSO didn't receive an invitation for. So basically, the bride's family is excluding people from the groom's list and didn't tell his mother who was left off or why.

So last night I'm at the rehearsal dinner and EVERYONE is telling me see you tomorrow and I'm like Then the groom's mother starts giving me directions to the church in front of everyone. (she's too funny) And I ask her, "Why are you giving me directions like I'm invited????" And she says, "Cuz I expect to see you there." I LOVE this family, the groom's mother tells everyone (including the bride) I'm like her daughter. Then my best friend calls me at 8 am to ask me if I'm coming. However, neither the bride OR the groom have verbally invited me.

So, part of me is very much into propriety and I don't want to show up at a wedding where I'll feel like an afterthought. The other part of me really wanted to witness this occassion with a bunch a folks I truly love and enjoy spending time with.

What would you do???? And hurry cuz the wedding's at five.
[Edited 6/14/08 8:46am]

sammij said:

id do the opposite- most receptions r catered 4- hence certain seats etc.

wedding services- if in a church, public garden r generally open to "all- comers" unless sign posted

SCNDLS said:

Go to the wedding and tell us how it was.
You may be about Miss Manners and propriety but in 2008, everyone ain't.
You've been verbally invited so go and get the paper invitation for the scrapbook later.
You were at the rehearsal dinner and there was no drama so there shouldn't be any at the wedding. (But instead of girdle wear some lyra shorts in case you have to go there with some trifling B___

Go!!!!!