ZombieKitten said:

isn't it great when that happens ???

SCNDLS said:

Please tell me you've seen my threads challenging straight society

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Which is something for the couple and their relatives to resolve, not someone outside that circle to make a judgment about and act contrary to what the wedding party has decided. Bottom line: If it's not your wedding and you haven't been invited, you have less than little say.

BlueZebra said:

something tells me yours just ran away completely!

ZombieKitten said:

No biggie.

ThreadBare said:

I hear what you're saying but in my case, I was invited by the groom's mother and included on her invitation list for BOTH the wedding and a bridal shower but was omitted by the bride's people. THEN I got a verbal invitation from the groom's mother. So it's not like I was just trynta bust up in there.

ThreadBare said:

Actually from the sound of it, people were invited and some stupid ass bitch took it upon herself to make the shit exclusive to herself. I can't get with this shit ever.

SCNDLS said:

Exactly and fuck this "it's her day" mindset! It's her day and his day too. I have seen this shit before where the bride renders the groom's side irrelevant because it's the fucking princesses special day. Without a prince you aint no princess bitch!

So glad this wasn't me cuz I woulda crashed that party with guns

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Wait, did the bride take them off the list or did the bride and groom decide together to take certain people off the list. Do we even know this for sure? Looks like a lot of assumptions are being made about it.

And it's not up to the mother in law to decide who to invite.

If it's the bride and groom's day, why is a mother doing any inviting at all?

JustErin said:

As I've explained already, the bride's family asked the groom's mother for his list of guests for the wedding and their addresses. The groom's mother gave them a list which I was on. She called me 9 months ago to confirm my mailing address. A few months ago, the bride's mother asked the groom's mother for a list of people she wanted at the bridal shower. She gave them a guest list, again, which I was on, AND the groom's mother helped pay for the bridal shower, which is NOT customary. I didn't get an invitation to either event and I'm not the only one of the groom's guests left off.

I'm really not blaming the bride OR the groom because it seems that neither were involved in the planning. The bride's mother handled all of the planning. So somewhere along the way the bride's people omitted some of the groom's guests without any explanation. And she did not go over the number of guests the bride's family alloted the groom. Besides, I'd say 90% of the time it's the mothers that handle the guest/mailing list duties because they know the addresses, names, etc. of the various family members and friends.

JustErin said:

Aren't people saying that the bride can't do everything herself?. I have no doubt if the scenario is that the groom caved in and bowed to the queen's demands. What a happy life he has to look forward to! Can't wait to see them on divorce court

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I agree, but again I think the bride was kinda oblivious to what was going on but ultimately it was her people deciding who would get invitations. IMO ideally, a marriage is not just two people joining, it's also the merging of two families, and riding roughshod all over you future in-laws is not the greatest start

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yeah, I have. You still a fool tho.

SCNDLS said:

And nobody understands why I am so hostile to the whole marriage scenario Do you notice how everyone is running to defend these actions and protect this poor innocent bride? One one hand people are trippin that a mother is inviting people but don't have jack shit to say about a mother disinviting guests! My cousin got married to one of these kinds of girls. It was the princesses perfect day and when everything is said and done, that bitch married my cousin because she thought he was about to get a large settlement and when it didn't happen, she filed for divorce!

I want to vomit all over this stupid crap

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I noticed that too because I keep saying over and over that the bride's fam ASKED for his list, the groom's mother gave it to them within the number of allowed guests, YET the bride's peeps left folks off (whom they don't know, BTW)without any explanation. The groom's family had no way of knowing until people told them they didn't receive invitations. That's fucked up, no matter how you slice it.
[Edited 6/18/08 11:29am]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

The difference between your post and mine is that in yours it's all speculation and finger pointing and in mine I'm just restating the facts we were given, that the mother invited people and somehow, somewhere people were taken off the list and we don't know exactly what happened since neither bride or groom (or the mother...?) has told SCNDLS what really happened.

I said that a mother inviting people to someone else's wedding is not appropriate. Ok, so in this case she was asked who she thought should come but that doesn't mean that who she names is automatically invited, ultimately it's the bride/groom who decides. So in the end verbal invites were not backed up with an official invitation from the bride/groom. I personally think it's silly to just assume that who you want to come will be coming and then go and verbally invite them without confirmation from the bride/groom.

But if you see that as me defending the 'poor innocent bride'...well, you're just weird.

And you're so insanely melodramatic in describing posts that others make on here.

JustErin said:

Well, I got this information from the groom's mother.

I've been in MANY weddings over the years and functioned as a wedding coordinator many times. Protocol and etiquette are very important to me and I've read all kinds of books/articles on how the guest list is handled. If you ask for a guest list, it's understood those people will receive invitations. If you can't invite them due to budgetary reasons or the numbers are too high, you go back to the bride/groom's family and explain the situation and GIVE them the opportunity to pay for their additional guests if that's a viable solution or ask THEM to reduce their numbers. This is not an assumption it's typically how things are done.

SCNDLS said:

EXACTLY! Why am I the only one who can see this?! They received a list that was within the numerical bounds, and since there was no conflict with the amount of people they submitted, why would they expect that a portion of their list would be left off the invite list and why was nobody told!. JErin wants to accuse me of melodrama but damn, what the fuck does someone have to do around here to get people to acknowledge the facts. So fucking what we don't hear this shit from the bride's mouth. Shit was wrong wrong wrong and we don't need her excuses to see that that is true!

SCNDLS said:

I see, I see, I see.

So your beef is not at all about the fact that you were not invited. It's all about there being no communication back to the mother who was asked for a list.

I had no idea that there was a protocal set up so that people in the bridal party who want other people to come have the option to pay for them to come. I just had never heard of that before.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Dude, you need to lay off the caffeine a little.

JustErin said:

Ackowledge the truth and there is no problem

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

What truth? That you're one of the most melodramatic people on here?

Ok, I admit that.

JustErin said:

I mean I am disappointed that I didn't get to go because I've know the groom for over 10 years. However, in the large scheme of things I'm very disappointed that the groom's mother whom I adore felt slighted by the process.

SCNDLS said:

Ok, I can understand that.

JustErin said:

You want to have an intervention for me?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

No way!

I find you entertaining!

JustErin said:

With his overly dramatic sef.

SCNDLS said:

Hey, how do you ever expect me to give Meryl Streep a run for her money?