You weren't invited. It's the bride's day, so to speak, and you should honor her wishes.

Especially if neither she nor the groom has invited you. To go would be tacky, IMO.

ThreadBare said:

do you see why I comment on men being pussywhipped. It's her day or no way without a man to marry she couldn't have the opportunity in the first place so really, a man's wishes should be considered every bit as much as hers. But most men can't stand up to their controlling women

and Richard, most men could not be bothered helping with organising the wedding btw. They get out of it as much as they can - this I see around me all the time, leaving the poor bride with everything to do because he says "you know I'm no good at this stuff, you choose it"

ZombieKitten said:

Oh believe me, I'm not defending men's ridiculousness on the issue. you're pledging your life to a woman, the least you can do is do SOMETHING And to think, in less than an hour I will be eligible for this wonderful institution and I have nobody asking for my hand in marriage

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

well what are you waiting for!!! make this 50 minutes count mister - you don't want to look back and say you could have tried harder!

ZombieKitten said:

At the current rate, I will have gone through all the eligible men in all of California without a single success story I'd hate to have to overtake the country as I'm kinda tuckered out

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

that sucks

ZombieKitten said:

You know, now that something is happening that I never thought would happen in my lifetime, I'm really kind of bummed I have nobody to do it with Oh well, I'd probably turn into a controlling bitch and then I'd have to actually join these marriage threads instead of laughing at them

ThreadBare said:

do you see why I comment on men being pussywhipped. It's her day or no way without a man to marry she couldn't have the opportunity in the first place so really, a man's wishes should be considered every bit as much as hers. But most men can't stand up to their controlling women

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Deferring to a social custom doesn't make someone whipped. It's about showing respect to the people getting married. I thought you would be a bit more empathetic about wedding parties' wishes, these days...

VERY tough situation, because as you've mentioned, weddings can bring out the WORST in people.

IMHO, it is the bride and groom's day.

As much as you love the groom's mom and family, if the bride and groom did not invite you, I would not go.

If the bride is being a BRIDEZILLA, then it's her loss. It is about both the bride and groom, but if the groom doesn't stand up and insist his side be invited fully (you said you and others were left off the list) then Mom's should be dealing with him.

But, at the risk of getting , there could be a little INLAWZILLA going on. Did groom's side of the family invite too many? I had a co worker who's mother in law wore white to their wedding. For me that was a bit much.

It's still bad form to not let the groom's mom know who was taken off the list.

Hope that made sense and hope you got it all sorted out!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

you could start booking reception centres and stuff, you know, be prepared!
Go and read the "why am I married" thread, those things are truer than you think

I wouldnt go but i would send the bride and groom a tasteful present and make sure they know it is from you. Don't play their petty family games. Don't make yourself a pawn in the mother-in-laws game. Take that time to do something special for yourself. Be unavailable also! You do not owe them any answers.

ZombieKitten said:

Is it that bad???

And Supa, I'd murrrrry you . . . IF I was a boy that liked boys.

Is it odd that I wanna be a bridesmaid in Ellen Degeneres' wedding??? You KNOW that wedding's gonna be off the chain.

30peacessilver said:

Ummmmm I don't know about giving them sapsuckas a gift. That ain't happening. But it's all good tho.

SCNDLS said:

Shows you have the tact they lack. Besides the gift can be awfull if you get creative.

Just got an update on the proceedings, turns out the food was crappy, the location was tacky, and the bride was antisocial, didn't walk around greeting or speaking to folks at all. Sounds like I didn't miss much.

ZombieKitten said:

Oh believe me, I'm not defending men's ridiculousness on the issue. you're pledging your life to a woman, the least you can do is do SOMETHING And to think, in less than an hour I will be eligible for this wonderful institution and I have nobody asking for my hand in marriage

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Now you know doggone well after all of this time that if I was a boy I would marry you

I just wouldn't want any ice sculptures at the reception. That's the one thing I'd HAVE to veto

Ottensen said:

unless its one you made yourself!

DesertEskimo said:

.

Ottensen said:

this one is quite nice

ZombieKitten said:

Wow that's nice and would be a great symbol of the happy couple's love BUT can you imagine the lawsuits when that sucka melts killing all the wedding guests????

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Deferring to a social custom doesn't make someone whipped. It's about showing respect to the people getting married. I thought you would be a bit more empathetic about wedding parties' wishes, these days...
[Edited 6/16/08 17:23pm]

ThreadBare said:

deferring? This stupid bitch uninvited all kinds of people on the grooms list. Defer to the princess at your own peril cuz this is what can happen!

SCNDLS said:

I think you could hollow it out and hold the reception inside it!


and the bride and groom can have their wedding night there!