Well shit, if you had the balls to go the dinner you might as well go to the wedding it's a weird situation & the seating could be uncomfortable, but if you're that close w/ them it shouldn't be a problem. That's kinda rank for them to just cross people off his list like that Have a great time if you go, rock some killer shoes!

CalhounSq said:

His mother sent me an invitation for the rehearsal dinner. Girl, I wouldn't have just rolled up in there. When I called to RSVP that's when I told her I didn't get invited to the wedding. She was not happy and told me she had included me on her list for the wedding AND the bridal shower (which I didn't get) and wondered why I didn't come. Furthermore, the bride's family asked for sponsors for the shower (now that's some tacky Star Jones-type shit ) and printed their names in a program at the shower. Well, the groom's mother contributed for the bridal shower but was conspicuously left off the sponsors list in the program. No explanation, thanks, nothing. Now THAT pissed me off.

SCNDLS said:

Damn, he's marrying into some crazy shit So it's today - did it happen already? Are you skipping it? Buying shoes instead??

CalhounSq said:

Yeah, I know. It started 45 minutes ago. I got a hot date now so, holla! Oh but it was too funny when momma was giving me directions as LOUD as she could be. I wanted to holla. And my silly ass was like, who you tellin and why cuz I ain't goin'????

ThreadBare said:

paintedlady said:

I agree with both of these
(maybe not the hot coals )

This is all too late. But I would imagine it all depends on who is paying for what. You see it all the time when the wedding guest list gets too long and some people just have to be cut. It sounds weird that his mom was in charge of who comes the the rehearsal dinner but was clueless on who's invited to the wedding, but if the party was on her dime then it was her right to invite whomever she wanted. If the wedding and reception is on the bride's dime then obviously they had to cut people and it was nothing personal. I don't see the big deal about you attending the wedding itself but it might be a complicated thing when it comes to the reception.

ZombieKitten said:

its just an expression... but it would be so messed up if SCNDLS took it literally and showed up to the ceremony with a shovel and a bag of charcoal

*now where is that emoticon with its head on fire?*

LleeLlee said:

Agreed. I would hate to show up at a place uninvited. That just seems kinda rude.

LleeLlee said:

Hence the creation of the word "bridezillas".

morningsong said:

Traditionally the groom's family always pays for the rehearsal dinner which was why I was invited to that. Despite the fact that the bride's family "traditionally" pays for most of the wedding and reception, the groom's family is still allowed to invite a given number of guests. This is not an event just for her family alone. Therefore, it's very inconsiderate for them to ask the groom's mother for addresses for her intended guests then not invite people indiscriminately without telling the groom's mother who was excluded or why. Especially since the groom's mother would have happily paid to accommodate her guests. That's the thing, she didn't know who they left off cuz they didn't say. She found out as family members told her they didn't get an invitation.

Didn't they just send your cards to the wrong adress?
I think it's strange that you were allowed ( if not invided ) to the rehearseldinner.. You say neither the bride OR the groom have verbally invited me... but did they say you were not welcome?? They were at that rehearsel or not? (I'm not that familiar with traditions )

HowComeYouDontCallme said:

Okay, "traditionally" the bride's family pays for the wedding ceremony and reception, the groom's family pays for the rehearsal dinner and I think alcohol at the wedding reception. His mother sent me an invitation to the dinner but I did not receive an invitation to the wedding/reception. As I've said already there were others on the groom's list who also did not receive invitations.

Usually, if the bride's family has to reduce the number of guests due to budgetary/financial reasons they typically inform the groom's family to cut X number of people from their guest list or chip in to pay for the extra folks (which the groom's mother woulda done if given the chance). Her family didn't do that, they just decided who on the groom's list they weren't inviting, who by the way they did not know. So they left the groom's mother to explain to some family members why they weren't invited. She doesn't even know if it was due to them exceeding the budget.

As for the bride and groom, yes they were at the rehearsal dinner but I would NEVER mention this to them at this point because 1) It's more than likely that neither of them were aware I wasn't invited, 2) I don't believe in accepting last minute invitations to stuff like this. My mindset is if it was important to you that I be there, you'd do things the right way because I would. and 3) On the day before the wedding, I should be the least of their concerns so I'm not going to ask you about my invitation. When I spoke to them I wished them both the best and kept it moving.

are they divorced yet ?

SCNDLS said:

I underdstand... Hearing all this I think you made the right decission
You kept your head high and wished them well

SCNDLS said:

Sounds a bit tacky and cowardly on the bride's part, bad communcation within the family from jump street doesn't sound like a good way to start their life together. Well, it's their problem hopefully they can work those issues out in the future. Send them a nice gift and call it a day, and spend some other time with the family members. Who knows, some where down the line you and the bride will become good friends and have a big laugh over this.

paintedlady said:

I know the one you mean, it's NOT this one




she could throw soot instead of rice!

You should go to the reception.....





and GET PISSY DRUNK!

bboy87 said:

And call the bride and her family stank biaches. Just kidding. . .
[Edited 6/16/08 7:45am]

morningsong said:

I know, I'm already sensing tension. I'm having a big bash for the 4th so I'm inviting the whole crew to my house. We'll see how things go.

Weddings can easily bring out the best OR the worst in people. That's why I'm having a destination wedding, IF I ever get married. I wanna show up 2 days before select all of my stuff and call it a day. All this months of planning when you're 35 or over is kinda nutty IMO.
[Edited 6/16/08 7:36am]

BlueZebra said:

[Edited 6/16/08 7:34am]

ZombieKitten said:

@ both you fools.

I would NOT go anywhere near the joint.

Just got an update on the proceedings, turns out the food was crappy, the location was tacky, and the bride was antisocial, didn't walk around greeting or speaking to folks at all. Sounds like I didn't miss much.

ThreadBare said:

I totally agree.

SCNDLS said:

I'll bet you're glad now that you didn't go.

psychodelicide said:

SCNDLS said:

VERY tough situation, because as you've mentioned, weddings can bring out the WORST in people.

IMHO, it is the bride and groom's day.

As much as you love the groom's mom and family, if the bride and groom did not invite you, I would not go.

If the bride is being a BRIDEZILLA, then it's her loss. It is about both the bride and groom, but if the groom doesn't stand up and insist his side be invited fully (you said you and others were left off the list) then Mom's should be dealing with him.

But, at the risk of getting , there could be a little INLAWZILLA going on. Did groom's side of the family invite too many? I had a co worker who's mother in law wore white to their wedding. For me that was a bit much.

It's still bad form to not let the groom's mom know who was taken off the list.

Hope that made sense and hope you got it all sorted out!

Now reading the whole thread, sounds like all's well that ends well.

I wouldn't go. Or did it happen already? Maybe I should read the thread Since you weren't the only one not invited, is the bride a controlling bitch and trying to make the wedding to her liking and hers alone?