I thought I could deal with this, but I am not a professional



are you a hoarder? do you have a family member or friend who hoards?
what do you do about it?

wtf is hoarding young lady ?

My teacher's assistant has this problem She even told me herself. I recently had to clean out a lot of her stuff in my classroom so that my room could stay up to code according to City guide lines. She did not like it but it was something I had to do if I wanted to pass inspection. When I first started I started cleaning the room and throwing out lots of old things. She would go in the garbage and take things back out. I felt sorry for her but I had to be firm and tell her that she's not allowed to go through the garbage can in my room. Its really sad. She says that her house is loaded with stuff

I do the opposite of hoard, I learned it from my mom.

I moved quite a bit when I was younger, and with this last move, I have learned not to get attached to material things.
So I do not keep things unless I really need them.

honeypot69 said:

and she'd be ashamed of her home and nobody can ever visit her, right?

MrsMdiver said:

me too, I feel better after I get rid of stuff
hoarders feel good when they acquire, and feel safe surrounded by all their things. Throwing things away makes them anxious.

BlueZebra said:

http://www.childrenofhoar...bindex.php
watch any of these

ZombieKitten said:

Though I have learned that I need to find balance.
It is hard to see your entire life in 7 plastic totes.

ZombieKitten said:

i have a family member who hoards. we have not been able to talk her out of 'collecting' things she doesn't need and to this day her home is crammed full of things, to the point where there are narrow little aisles between big piles of crap

ZombieKitten said:

The link is not working sweetheart so wtf is ' hoarding' ???

AndGodCreatedMe said:

http://www.vimeo.com/6030...sec=603058
watch this doco then!

XxAxX said:

it is a mental disorder, obsessive compulsive

ZombieKitten said:

I understand it know, well not the disorder but what you meant

MrsMdiver said:

Me too, I'm the same way. That's the one nice thing about living in this small, one-bedroom, apartment-style condo. It's so small, that I don't even have room to hoard unnecessary things.

Nope, not at all. I hate clutter!

I hoard, then I go through a chi fog where I have to throw everything out in a big dramatic way. Matter of fact I'm about to go through my closet tonight and clear out anything I haven't worn in the last 2+ years for a charity pick-up at 8am tomorrow. Only business and formal wear will escape with impunity. All the jeans, sweaters, casual stuff? It's outta here

I come from a family of hoarders and live in a nation of hoarders, so I battle it EVERY day.

It is not easy to deal with. You have to attack it from different angles.

#1 Watch what comes into the house. What and why are you buying it? Be selective

#2 Think about what you're keeping and why you are keeping it. Evaluate your reasons...it can be very emotional.

Do you REALLY need the puke green sweater you bought because at $3(U.S.) it was a fantastic bargain?

As much as you loved your Grandmother, do you REALLY need to keep her record collection of 100 Readers' Digest Best of Gospel Records?

Will you REALLY wear those jeans from high school that you have kept for when you lose 20+ lbs.

Be tough. Let go. You'll love it!!!

#3 Set up 3 bins...I know it sounds cliche...Keep it...Trash it...Donate it and start sorting. Then, sort it again.

#4 Buy a paper shredder! You'll love it to!!


Good luck!!!

ZombieKitten said:

i know. i am the opposite of a hoarder, so i found it hard to understsand why ANYone would prefer to fill their home with piles and piles of old magazines and newspapers.

I hoard, but I think its having a creative side to me as my arty friends are all quite similar.. we love to save things.. just in case..

i hoard and purge. i will collect a bunch of crap, then it will make me crazy, and then i'll get rid of tons of stuff. i think i cycle through things a lot more frequently than i used to, though, so that's a good thing.

i have a rule that helps me get rid of things:

if i'm deciding to get rid of clothes, for example, i use the rule of ten: make it a goal to find no fewer than TEN things to get rid of. usually, in deciding those ten items, i find lots more that i want to get rid of and i end up filling a bag or two with stuff i know i'll never wear again.

i think part of what makes some people hoard things is feeling overwhelmed about where to possibly start in getting rid of things. i think creating a finite goal like my "rule of ten" is really helpful to get the ball rolling.

Nothinbutjoy said:

I'm a non-hoarder like Valory, but I am helping out a friend who is battling this compulsion. She doesn't so much buy things as keep any things anyone gives her, picks up pamphlets wherever she goes, keeps candy wrappers etc. She has an inspection of her apartment by the landlords next Wednesday, we have to clean up or she might be evicted. It's really tough for her - parting with things without having a chance to look through it makes her really stressed. I put together a bagful of bits of paper, but she said "put it over there", meaning she will look at it later, but later never comes.

XxAxX said:

I don't think they want it to look like that - my friend is ashamed of her apartment, she never has visitors.

Anxiety said:

Me too. I find myself going through a lot of minimalistic periods in my life.

There have been several people in my life who've had this 'affliction' and it's very difficult. I sure hope you can get her place in shape by Wednesday, ZK.

I've done the same thing for my best friend's mother as well as an older colleague. These projects are massive; physically and emotionally speaking. It's not easy. Sincere respect for you, taking this on!

im good about not hoarding. If i havent looked at it in a few months, the next time I see it, it goes in the trash.

Anxiety said:

That is a great idea to accomplish a bit at a time. Otherwise it's like an "futile" goal and the task never begins!

By the way, the last time the org talked about this, I hauled out two huge garbage bags of clothes I knew I would never wear again, and I have NOT missed them!

INSATIABLE said:

I did a lot of reading last night to understand, and so far I've been doing the right things, never once have I called her things "rubbish" thank goodness, she trusts me, I don't want to break her trust by giving the impression I am going to throw any of it out. We are simply making a temporary clean-up - ie MOVING her things into storage and out of the way. When she moves out we will deal with what will move with her.
As far as I can understand, even if we get rid of all this stuff, unless she is rehabilitated, the hoarding will just start again.

ZombieKitten said:

Excellent way of going about it. Especially when it's being done in a rush like this, forcing a person to part with such a large amount of the stuff is simply abusive, considering their overattachment.


The first time I 'helped', it was myself and my best friend cleaning out her mom's house due to a move. I was 19 at the time and had little patience or understanding when it came to realizing this is a sickness. You can't just argue a person into re-shaping reality in an instant. GOD, it was awful. The woman hadn't owned cats in YEARS yet the house was full of the funkiest cat shit and piss smell imaginable. The kitchen resembled a nuclear waste site. All the floors had to be replaced because she never cleaned after spills or when pipes burst. She collected everything, including every TV Guide magazine from 1989 until then (2001). They were stacked everywhere. She had four broken refrigerators in her garage. She hadn't stepped foot in her bedroom for over ten years due to the piles of plastic bags filled with random garbage.

She vowed to never return to that lifestyle when she moved to her new place in another town. I didn't see it until over a year later because I lived away from the area for several years. When I finally did visit, you couldn't even open the front door all the way. Like her other place, she has half a couch to sleep on at night. It only took a YEAR to fill a house full of junk! Who knows where the shit comes from--none of it is worth over a dollar or two. It's papers, garbage, broken pieces of things and cheap-ass tacky collectible shit.

More, more, more. Yet she's still empty inside. You can see it in her eyes.

INSATIABLE said:[quote]

ZombieKitten said:

that is so sad!

yup
My friend realises her baby can't grow up in these conditions.
It breaks my heart when he visits at my house, and has enough space here to break into a RUN. At their house, they live in 2m x 1.5m of floor space.

I am not getting my hopes up that I can change her way of thinking, but I can certainly help her in any way she asks me to.