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PrintableZombieKitten said: JustErin said: Ya, ya, I know. Women need to have it completely spelled out and be told it 15,000 times to even consider that it might, just might also apply to them. I imagine that the book talks about certain scenarios explaining that the meaning behind each one is that the dude is just not that into them. It's pathetic really that many women need to be told this, have it explained to them.  yes it does. but women have wonderful ways of justifying men's behaviour just to remain in total denial Or the biggest mistake that most women make is that they think that the dude will eventually just come around. That they will be the one to eventually make them change their ways, that they will in time suddenly be totally madly, deeply in love with them. And the biggest mistake that some men make is they eventually stop looking for the one that they will be really into and settle with the one they are just not that into. | |
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abierman said: VenusBlingBling said: ^
I've already got the book. So...do you guys agree with what Greg is sayin'? Are you that simple and easy to understand?  I really think we're easier to understand than most of the women, I mean that!Bull  | |
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 [Edited 5/25/08 21:48pm] | |
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VenusBlingBling said: 'He's Just Not That Into You if he only lets u text message him and never takes your calls. u can only come over at 4:30 in the morning. if you post on the org. | |
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Christopher said: VenusBlingBling said: 'He's Just Not That Into You if he only lets u text message him and never takes your calls. u can only come over at 4:30 in the morning. if you post on the org. 
that doesn't sound very nice  | |
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ZombieKitten said: Christopher said: if he only lets u text message him and never takes your calls. u can only come over at 4:30 in the morning. if you post on the org.
that doesn't sound very nice 
i keed i keed.. how the heck are u.i miss talking to you! | |
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Christopher said: ZombieKitten said:
that doesn't sound very nice
i keed i keed.. how the heck are u.i miss talking to you! you never seem on when I'm on! | |
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ZombieKitten said: Christopher said:
i keed i keed.. how the heck are u.i miss talking to you! you never seem on when I'm on! i know ill be on tho...and we can catch up  | |
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Christopher said: ZombieKitten said: you never seem on when I'm on! i know ill be on tho...and we can catch up I have to log off now and get my kids from school  | |
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JustErin said: ZombieKitten said: yes it does. but women have wonderful ways of justifying men's behaviour just to remain in total denial Or the biggest mistake that most women make is that they think that the dude will eventually just come around. That they will be the one to eventually make them change their ways, that they will in time suddenly be totally madly, deeply in love with them. Both of you are right. I've always thought of myself as someone who doesn't take crap from a guy and if I feel I'm not treated they way I should be treated I move on. But in reality that's not really the case. Excuses, excuses. Making up whole scenarios why he does and doesn't do this and that and blocking out all those moments where one had good reasons to leave him and move on. And a lot of us women are so good at putting the blame on ourselves. "I should have done this and not this and everything would have been great." And that doesn't do any good. There's a reason why the relationship or whatever is not working just great and you're crying yourself to sleep so often. The right guy shouldn't make you feel that way. Yet many of us think "no, it's all my fault".
I hate some men's I'm so busy excuse. I don't know anyone who is as busy as my father yet he always has time to fix stuff, just leave me a message, make a short trip to see me or arrange something, whatever. | |
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VenusBlingBling said: JustErin said: Or the biggest mistake that most women make is that they think that the dude will eventually just come around. That they will be the one to eventually make them change their ways, that they will in time suddenly be totally madly, deeply in love with them. Both of you are right. I've always thought of myself as someone who doesn't take crap from a guy and if I feel I'm not treated they way I should be treated I move on. But in reality that's not really the case. Excuses, excuses. Making up whole scenarios why he does and doesn't do this and that and blocking out all those moments where one had good reasons to leave him and move on. And a lot of us women are so good at putting the blame on ourselves. "I should have done this and not this and everything would have been great." And that doesn't do any good. There's a reason why the relationship or whatever is not working just great and you're crying yourself to sleep so often. The right guy shouldn't make you feel that way. Yet many of us think "no, it's all my fault".
I hate some men's I'm so busy excuse. I don't know anyone who is as busy as my father yet he always has time to fix stuff, just leave me a message, make a short trip to see me or arrange something, whatever. the busiest guy in the world will bend over backwards to be with his "the one" | |
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ZombieKitten said: VenusBlingBling said: Both of you are right. I've always thought of myself as someone who doesn't take crap from a guy and if I feel I'm not treated they way I should be treated I move on. But in reality that's not really the case. Excuses, excuses. Making up whole scenarios why he does and doesn't do this and that and blocking out all those moments where one had good reasons to leave him and move on. And a lot of us women are so good at putting the blame on ourselves. "I should have done this and not this and everything would have been great." And that doesn't do any good. There's a reason why the relationship or whatever is not working just great and you're crying yourself to sleep so often. The right guy shouldn't make you feel that way. Yet many of us think "no, it's all my fault".
I hate some men's I'm so busy excuse. I don't know anyone who is as busy as my father yet he always has time to fix stuff, just leave me a message, make a short trip to see me or arrange something, whatever. the busiest guy in the world will bend over backwards to be with his "the one"Precisely. Even if you aren't his "the one", when a man digs you he still will pay plently of attention to you and will at the very least try to get to know you well... and at most and test the waters for something more long-term and committed. I don't even understand why books like these need to be written. I say if a dude doesn't appear to be into you, then his ass can be left by the wayside while you move on to the next one. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get that figured out.  | |
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Ottensen said: ZombieKitten said: the busiest guy in the world will bend over backwards to be with his "the one"Precisely. Even if you aren't his "the one", when a man digs you he still will pay plently of attention to you and will at the very least try to get to know you well... and at most and test the waters for something more long-term and committed. I don't even understand why books like these need to be written. I say if a dude doesn't appear to be into you, then his ass can be left by the wayside while you move on to the next one. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get that figured out. I think part of the problem may be with men who say they are into you but their actions say otherwise. You know he's just saying it to keep the chick around until something better comes along. As much as dudes wanna play the field I do believe that they just don't want to be alone, so they just keep whomever will do the job until they find someone they really wanna be with. Many women fall into the trap of just taking what he says as how it really is instead of going by how they treat them. The whole "He loves me but is just afraid to commit" is a load of bullshit. If he was really wanting you, he'd commit. I've seen the biggest of so called "players", who had the reputation of never settling down, totally commit when they finally really fell for someone. | |
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JustErin said: Ottensen said: Precisely. Even if you aren't his "the one", when a man digs you he still will pay plently of attention to you and will at the very least try to get to know you well... and at most and test the waters for something more long-term and committed. I don't even understand why books like these need to be written. I say if a dude doesn't appear to be into you, then his ass can be left by the wayside while you move on to the next one. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get that figured out. I think part of the problem may be with men who say they are into you but their actions say otherwise. You know he's just saying it to keep the chick around until something better comes along. As much as dudes wanna play the field I do believe that they just don't want to be alone, so they just keep whomever will do the job until they find someone they really wanna be with. Many women fall into the trap of just taking what he says as how it really is instead of going by how they treat them. The whole "He loves me but is just afraid to commit" is a load of bullshit. If he was really wanting you, he'd commit. I've seen the biggest of so called "players", who had the reputation of never settling down, totally commit when they finally really fell for someone. Pretty much. | |
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ZombieKitten said: VenusBlingBling said: Both of you are right. I've always thought of myself as someone who doesn't take crap from a guy and if I feel I'm not treated they way I should be treated I move on. But in reality that's not really the case. Excuses, excuses. Making up whole scenarios why he does and doesn't do this and that and blocking out all those moments where one had good reasons to leave him and move on. And a lot of us women are so good at putting the blame on ourselves. "I should have done this and not this and everything would have been great." And that doesn't do any good. There's a reason why the relationship or whatever is not working just great and you're crying yourself to sleep so often. The right guy shouldn't make you feel that way. Yet many of us think "no, it's all my fault".
I hate some men's I'm so busy excuse. I don't know anyone who is as busy as my father yet he always has time to fix stuff, just leave me a message, make a short trip to see me or arrange something, whatever. the busiest guy in the world will bend over backwards to be with his "the one" 4 weekly 10,000 mile round trips for 3 days, glad that is over now[Edited 5/26/08 9:33am] | |
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JustErin said: Ottensen said: Precisely. Even if you aren't his "the one", when a man digs you he still will pay plently of attention to you and will at the very least try to get to know you well... and at most and test the waters for something more long-term and committed. I don't even understand why books like these need to be written. I say if a dude doesn't appear to be into you, then his ass can be left by the wayside while you move on to the next one. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get that figured out. I think part of the problem may be with men who say they are into you but their actions say otherwise. You know he's just saying it to keep the chick around until something better comes along. As much as dudes wanna play the field I do believe that they just don't want to be alone, so they just keep whomever will do the job until they find someone they really wanna be with. Many women fall into the trap of just taking what he says as how it really is instead of going by how they treat them. The whole "He loves me but is just afraid to commit" is a load of bullshit. If he was really wanting you, he'd commit. I've seen the biggest of so called "players", who had the reputation of never settling down, totally commit when they finally really fell for someone. So true, so true. The tricky thing can be to realize that you're not as special to him as he says, to see through it all and to not make excuses. To erase that "what if" outa your mind. Alot of us just need to toughen up and not be as accepting. | |
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JustErin said: Ottensen said: Precisely. Even if you aren't his "the one", when a man digs you he still will pay plently of attention to you and will at the very least try to get to know you well... and at most and test the waters for something more long-term and committed. I don't even understand why books like these need to be written. I say if a dude doesn't appear to be into you, then his ass can be left by the wayside while you move on to the next one. It shouldn't take more than a few weeks to get that figured out. I think part of the problem may be with men who say they are into you but their actions say otherwise. You know he's just saying it to keep the chick around until something better comes along. As much as dudes wanna play the field I do believe that they just don't want to be alone, so they just keep whomever will do the job until they find someone they really wanna be with. Many women fall into the trap of just taking what he says as how it really is instead of going by how they treat them. The whole "He loves me but is just afraid to commit" is a load of bullshit. If he was really wanting you, he'd commit. I've seen the biggest of so called "players", who had the reputation of never settling down, totally commit when they finally really fell for someone. One thing the book does cover is interesting, which I didn't know (but makes sense in hindsight )
Guys are basically chickenshit at telling a girl he isn't that interested. For some reason they think dropping her will hurt her (more than stringing her along). A popular method of getting rid of a girl is to treat her like shit so she drops HIM, then he doesn't feel so bad apparently  | |
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ZombieKitten said: JustErin said: I think part of the problem may be with men who say they are into you but their actions say otherwise. You know he's just saying it to keep the chick around until something better comes along. As much as dudes wanna play the field I do believe that they just don't want to be alone, so they just keep whomever will do the job until they find someone they really wanna be with. Many women fall into the trap of just taking what he says as how it really is instead of going by how they treat them. The whole "He loves me but is just afraid to commit" is a load of bullshit. If he was really wanting you, he'd commit. I've seen the biggest of so called "players", who had the reputation of never settling down, totally commit when they finally really fell for someone. One thing the book does cover is interesting, which I didn't know (but makes sense in hindsight )
Guys are basically chickenshit at telling a girl he isn't that interested. For some reason they think dropping her will hurt her (more than stringing her along). A popular method of getting rid of a girl is to treat her like shit so she drops HIM, then he doesn't feel so bad apparently Yeah, for some reason it had never occured to me that men could be so afraid of telling a girl they're "just not that into her". Why??? | |
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VenusBlingBling said: ZombieKitten said: One thing the book does cover is interesting, which I didn't know (but makes sense in hindsight )
Guys are basically chickenshit at telling a girl he isn't that interested. For some reason they think dropping her will hurt her (more than stringing her along). A popular method of getting rid of a girl is to treat her like shit so she drops HIM, then he doesn't feel so bad apparently Yeah, for some reason it had never occured to me that men could be so afraid of telling a girl they're "just not that into her". Why??? cause they are scared she will make a scene? and hit them with a wooden spoon just like mum would? I don't know! | |
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OR they keep her around to have sex with
call her up, sweet talk her a bit, she will forget the 3 weeks he didn't bother to call NICE  | |
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ZombieKitten said: OR they keep her around to have sex with
call her up, sweet talk her a bit, she will forget the 3 weeks he didn't bother to call NICE
And contrary to Erin, I don't think it's pathetic at all not to have this all figured out right away. I didn't. 
It was a mild eye-opener for me and as soon as I read it went, huh, yeah, that makes total sense. |
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CarrieMpls said: ZombieKitten said: OR they keep her around to have sex with
call her up, sweet talk her a bit, she will forget the 3 weeks he didn't bother to call NICE
And contrary to Erin, I don't think it's pathetic at all not to have this all figured out right away. I didn't.
It was a mild eye-opener for me and as soon as I read it went, huh, yeah, that makes total sense. yup it isn't wrong to start out with hope or faith in mankind | |
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CarrieMpls said: ZombieKitten said: OR they keep her around to have sex with
call her up, sweet talk her a bit, she will forget the 3 weeks he didn't bother to call NICE
And contrary to Erin, I don't think it's pathetic at all not to have this all figured out right away. I didn't.
It was a mild eye-opener for me and as soon as I read it went, huh, yeah, that makes total sense. With anything, if it continues to happen again and again and people just don't get a clue, it's pathetic in my eyes. And going from personal experience, I see women continue to go through the same shit time and time again. Still thinking that they will make the dude see the light. | |
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CarrieMpls said: ZombieKitten said: OR they keep her around to have sex with
call her up, sweet talk her a bit, she will forget the 3 weeks he didn't bother to call NICE
And contrary to Erin, I don't think it's pathetic at all not to have this all figured out right away. I didn't.
It was a mild eye-opener for me and as soon as I read it went, huh, yeah, that makes total sense. It took me awhile to figure it out, too. i've seen many women end up married or in serious relationships after just sticking around with a guy who doesn't seem to care much about them. At the time, I figured that they had stuck around for so long that the guy had a change of heart and fell in love with them and that someday that could happen to me. However, as I've gotten older and have been approached by men who are unhappy in their marriages/relationships, I've come to realize that alot of that behavior can be chalked up to "settling" and usually leads to martial infidelity and unhappiness. So now I'm holdig out for the guy who is just that into me (and who I am into as well) and saving myself a ton of time by weeding through the ones who aren't. It probably took me from the time I was 16 years old up to about a few years ago to really figure it out and put it into practice, though. You have to have the self esteem and confidence to really think that way and many, many women really do believe that they will not find anyone better. | |
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JasmineFire said: CarrieMpls said:
And contrary to Erin, I don't think it's pathetic at all not to have this all figured out right away. I didn't.
It was a mild eye-opener for me and as soon as I read it went, huh, yeah, that makes total sense. It took me awhile to figure it out, too. i've seen many women end up married or in serious relationships after just sticking around with a guy who doesn't seem to care much about them. At the time, I figured that they had stuck around for so long that the guy had a change of heart and fell in love with them and that someday that could happen to me. However, as I've gotten older and have been approached by men who are unhappy in their marriages/relationships, I've come to realize that alot of that behavior can be chalked up to "settling" and usually leads to martial infidelity and unhappiness. So now I'm holdig out for the guy who is just that into me (and who I am into as well) and saving myself a ton of time by weeding through the ones who aren't. It probably took me from the time I was 16 years old up to about a few years ago to really figure it out and put it into practice, though. You have to have the self esteem and confidence to really think that way and many, many women really do believe that they will not find anyone better. Good for you. Everyone needs to think this way - both men and women. That doesn't mean that you can't have fun in the interim...just that you're not gonna invest yourself emotionally until that right person comes along. As long as people are not kidding themselves, this is actually very easy to do. | |
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JasmineFire said: CarrieMpls said:
And contrary to Erin, I don't think it's pathetic at all not to have this all figured out right away. I didn't.
It was a mild eye-opener for me and as soon as I read it went, huh, yeah, that makes total sense. It took me awhile to figure it out, too. i've seen many women end up married or in serious relationships after just sticking around with a guy who doesn't seem to care much about them. At the time, I figured that they had stuck around for so long that the guy had a change of heart and fell in love with them and that someday that could happen to me. However, as I've gotten older and have been approached by men who are unhappy in their marriages/relationships, I've come to realize that alot of that behavior can be chalked up to "settling" and usually leads to martial infidelity and unhappiness. So now I'm holdig out for the guy who is just that into me (and who I am into as well) and saving myself a ton of time by weeding through the ones who aren't. It probably took me from the time I was 16 years old up to about a few years ago to really figure it out and put it into practice, though. You have to have the self esteem and confidence to really think that way and many, many women really do believe that they will not find anyone better.  so romantic!
I've settled for a guy because he was really into ME
I really have to make it work though  | |
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HamsterHuey said: Oprah fodder.
Oprah mudder. Oprah sister? Oprah brudder. | |
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Anxiety said: HamsterHuey said: Oprah fodder.
Oprah mudder. Oprah sister? Oprah brudder. Here I am at Camp Granada | |
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