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when as adults do we become "trapped"? ever feel like your trapped within the confines of
work? marriage? children? money? age? its insidious but it creeps up on you im sure we could all relate to one of the above org.....its on you! | |
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You have to weigh the pros and cons.....it's a balance.
"The grass is always greener on the other side". | |
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i think we as humans have not got the tenacity nor the intellect nor the imagination to imagine us living out of the constraints of this soceity | |
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jonylawson said: i think we as humans have not got the tenacity nor the intellect nor the imagination to imagine us living out of the constraints of this soceity
That's the truth. | |
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jonylawson said: i think we as humans have not got the tenacity nor the intellect nor the imagination to imagine us living out of the constraints of this soceity
there's whole movements of people who do- http://www.crimethinc.com/ | |
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evenstar3 said: jonylawson said: i think we as humans have not got the tenacity nor the intellect nor the imagination to imagine us living out of the constraints of this soceity
there's whole movements of people who do- http://www.crimethinc.com/ thanks-ill have a good read-looks intresting | |
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Can you really do anything about "children" and "age"???
Hell, at this rate, you can be trapped, just waking up every day.....!!!! | |
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xplnyrslf said: Can you really do anything about "children" and "age"???
Hell, at this rate, you can be trapped, just waking up every day.....!!!! well yes. children are a gift but in todays world they are a tax commodity how many times have you heard"i cant afford to have kids yet" just because i dont live with my ex though i see my son roughly 4 days a week i have to pay almost $800 a month for child support $800??? isaacs 4-its not like hes got any expensive habits!! age?? soceity is determined by age too old for this-too young for that demographics everywhere | |
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jonylawson said: ever feel like your trapped within the confines of
work? marriage? children? money? age? its insidious but it creeps up on you I'm sure we could all relate to one of the above org.....its on you! As an adult you aren't trapped... you have choices. "trapped within the confines " sounds tantamount to, "I don't wish to take any form of responsibility for self." Which would make you a great American! | |
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do you ever think we have just got it so so wrong?? | |
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i think im a nihilist with delusions of utopia | |
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We spend our youths waiting to become independent
Then there is a short window of freedom, with anticipation of the things we will experience and achieve - a time where anything is possible if we just apply ourselves. "Plenty of time for all that later, right NOW time to get laid" Suddenly we are middle aged with dependants, and for a decade or so, it's a blur of breastfeeding and making school lunches mindnumbing drudgery. A time of not being sure this is what we meant for ourselves Other people seem to have got it right, but what happened to MY dreams? | |
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jonylawson said: xplnyrslf said: Can you really do anything about "children" and "age"???
Hell, at this rate, you can be trapped, just waking up every day.....!!!! well yes. children are a gift but in todays world they are a tax commodity how many times have you heard"i cant afford to have kids yet" just because i dont live with my ex though i see my son roughly 4 days a week i have to pay almost $800 a month for child support $800??? isaacs 4-its not like hes got any expensive habits!! age?? soceity is determined by age too old for this-too young for that demographics everywhere I work with an anesthesiologist who's hubby was a stay-at-home dad who took care of the kids. She found out he gambled, and lost all their savings. When she divorced him, since he didn't work, she now has to pay him alimony. This is in the past year. As far as child support, it depends on where you live, what state, etc. laws pretty much dictate the circumstances. Age is relative to what your state of mind is. Don't use it, as an excuse. | |
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jonylawson said: xplnyrslf said: Can you really do anything about "children" and "age"???
Hell, at this rate, you can be trapped, just waking up every day.....!!!! well yes. children are a gift but in todays world they are a tax commodity how many times have you heard"i cant afford to have kids yet" just because i dont live with my ex though i see my son roughly 4 days a week i have to pay almost $800 a month for child support $800??? isaacs 4-its not like hes got any expensive habits!! age?? soceity is determined by age too old for this-too young for that demographics everywhere I didnt see this part..... Is little man in child care because that is exspensive! ? My X and I didnt choose child support because he is in their life full time. We evenly divide there time with us and my children are thrilled with it. that said, we were just speaking of this last night... we are both thankful beause we get along very well and agree entirely on how to raise them. | |
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jonylawson said: do you ever think we have just got it [b]so so wrong[/b]??
In what way? | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: jonylawson said: well yes. children are a gift but in todays world they are a tax commodity how many times have you heard"i cant afford to have kids yet" just because i dont live with my ex though i see my son roughly 4 days a week i have to pay almost $800 a month for child support $800??? isaacs 4-its not like hes got any expensive habits!! age?? soceity is determined by age too old for this-too young for that demographics everywhere I didnt see this part..... Is little man in child care because that is exspensive! ? My X and I didnt choose child support because he is in their life full time. We evenly divide there time with us and my children are thrilled with it. that said, we were just speaking of this last night... we are both thankful beause we get along very well and agree entirely on how to raise them. my ex chooses not to work so i have to pay a % of my pay-i have no choice we get on very well as well but the whole system sucks its like its my fault she chooses-note CHOOSES not to work so i have to pay the govt 800 bucks which goes towards her glorified dole cheque however she sees only 150 dollars of that on top of that i pay everything for lil man newzealand is notorious for having the softest most abused welfare system in the world-it pays not to work here and if you choose NOT to name the father on the birth cert-you get triple benefit | |
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try fixing what's wrong before you start to come to view yourself as "trapped" and feel that there is no other option but "escape" "Try to remember how you used to feel about me
and think about how you're treating me now. Then try to reconcile them, if you can. But you don't even remember, do you?" | |
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jonylawson said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: I didnt see this part..... Is little man in child care because that is exspensive! ? My X and I didnt choose child support because he is in their life full time. We evenly divide there time with us and my children are thrilled with it. that said, we were just speaking of this last night... we are both thankful beause we get along very well and agree entirely on how to raise them. my ex chooses not to work so i have to pay a % of my pay-i have no choice we get on very well as well but the whole system sucks its like its my fault she chooses-note CHOOSES not to work so i have to pay the govt 800 bucks which goes towards her glorified dole cheque however she sees only 150 dollars of that on top of that i pay everything for lil man newzealand is notorious for having the softest most abused welfare system in the world-it pays not to work here and if you choose NOT to name the father on the birth cert-you get triple benefit I'm sorry that's entirely crap. Americans can do this too..... I don't get that type of woman. I do understand a woman wanting to stay home with her children and such but if she didn't procreate under those circumstances then she needs to anti up her end of it. Rarely have i seen it be about the "child" but about the lazy mama. | |
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to this day shes still the most amazing beautiful woman i know
but get a job..... she comes from a family which would make the waltons appear dysfunctional and cos her mum stayed at home she thinks she can..... for FIVE YEARS!! whilst im the one whos getting penalised finacially where i come from and rural newzealand are such different entities | |
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its hard man cos the only reason im in the f#####ng country is solely to be with my boy
nothing else-if i didnt have isaac id be straight home | |
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I reject this concept of trapped when in comes to children in general though. ( non specific to anyone here here but on the whole.)
Procreation is a choice and anyone can prevent it easily. Disenchantment with the mate doesn't negate the fact that this is your seed. A part of you. The idea that one looses their personal dreams is shortsighted... They may be detained for a bit but kids are small for such a short time. Before we know it they are off to school and a good part of the day is reclaimed. Next thing you know you turn your head and they are off to college and your heart takes an unexpected hit. | |
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jonylawson said: its hard man cos the only reason im in the f#####ng country is solely to be with my boy
nothing else-if i didnt have isaac id be straight home | |
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jonylawson said: ever feel like your trapped within the confines of
work? marriage? children? money? age? its insidious but it creeps up on you im sure we could all relate to one of the above org.....its on you! work? no, i like what i do, and i feel happy. marriage? no, i've been married over 5 years, and happier than ever with my husband. children? i only have one child, i love it, (it's not easy being a parent, but it's worth it! wouldn't trade it!) money? i used to worry about this, but no longer, changed my point of view, and just live life. age? just turned 30, (wasn't too happy about it ) but hey i was able to experience some awesome things as a teenager and in my 20's, so i feel content. (it's easy to let rough spots in life depress you, but you have to shake it off and go on, better days WILL come.) | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: I reject this concept of trapped when in comes to children in general though. ( non specific to anyone here here but on the whole.)
Procreation is a choice and anyone can prevent it easily. Disenchantment with the mate doesn't negate the fact that this is your seed. A part of you. The idea that one looses their personal dreams is shortsighted... They may be detained for a bit but kids are small for such a short time. Before we know it they are off to school and a good part of the day is reclaimed. Next thing you know you turn your head and they are off to college and your heart takes an unexpected hit. i totally agree-2 adults who have unprotected sex know the risks... i was only in the country for 4 weeks as part of my global domination plan and BOOM im going to be a daddy. there was absoulotly no question of me running away-man i hear some bullshit from absent fathers | |
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As an adult there is nothing that traps us. We have the perfect right of choice and free will.
We can, in actuality, do exactly as we please and exactly as we feel. The issue arises when one wants to have no consequences to changing, when we wish to keep the good in our situation and yet still erase the bad. Then we are trapped by our own selfishness. Is that really trapped? No. | |
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mdiver said: As an adult there is nothing that traps us. We have the perfect right of choice and free will.
We can, in actuality, do exactly as we please and exactly as we feel. The issue arises when one wants to have no consequences to changing, when we wish to keep the good in our situation and yet still erase the bad. Then we are trapped by our own selfishness. Is that really trapped? No. but we all have to work....therfore ultimatly depriving of freedom | |
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if you dont "work" thren you wont get"paid"
you will lose your house and you wont eat | |
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