HamsterHuey said:

You are right Herman, you cannot settle. I settled before and it left me stagnating with someone that did not care deeply about me or our relationship. I vowed when I left that I would not settle again.
Who knows about the forever thing.
I am not sure what I am "cut out" for. I know that things in my past (childhood through adulthood) have created a pattern within me. I recognise where the pattern comes from. I just try to live each day as it comes, love each day as it comes.
Hopefully the love I have found will last "forever"... time will tell. I am just loving it, cherishing it, nurturing it, feeding it and watching it grow.

shanti0608 said:

Flowerz said:

mdiver said:

I love you my handsome husband.

shanti0608 said:

Thanks for being so open, Val. Relationships are hard at times, but I am still hoping to find someone I have a natural report with.
My tendency has been to fall for guys that are totally opposite of myself, resulting in two long relationships that were filled with battle and not much peace of mind. Lots of love, just not peace of mind, the fighting eventually breaking the second relation apart (the first one did not last because of other reasons).

But as you, I see the pattern and try to break through it. Real hard, considering that indeed this pattern is forced on me unsuspectedly, so it created unsuspected pits to fall in.
But being aware of the pattern helps cutting through the crap WAY quicker than I used to be able to.

HamsterHuey said:

Well it can go both ways. My first long term relationship started having serious problems because we were too different and we struggled to meet in the middle on things. The reason for me finally throwing in the towel was due to something that I felt I could not get past nor forgive him for. I was not going to make both of us suffer together when I was filled with rage and hurt that I could not heal from while we were together. So after that I fell for someone that was too much like me. In the beginning it was great, no effort really. No compromises..it just worked for us. He was safe and I did not have to worry about struggling with the same issues that I had before. After some time though I started to realise that neither one of us was growing. We were so much alike that we did not encourage change and it got stagnate. There were other issues that ended up forcing me to make a move and end it so we could both find some happiness. It is tough to find a balance. I am hoping that I finally found the right balance for me and for him as well.
Both parties have to be committed and have the same goals.
It is not an easy thing to find.

So many things to consider. I know you will get there though Herman. You are a great guy

shanti0608 said:

True, and no one is the same, but sometimes listening to others helps to expand your own ways of thinking.
Again, thanks.

I know I will never be an end-product, so to speak. And I am not really looking, but I ain't exactly NOT looking either, hehehe.

I consider myself to be a catch.....if someone comes along and knows to appreciate that and there is a click on both sides, then I'd be happy journing together. If not, then I'm just as happy! Thank God I've gotten to know how to enjoy myself, doing the cool stuff I like doing. Of course I am willing to share and compromise, but I consider my trust to be precious and it has been damaged in the past.....so it would take a lot to get there again. One on one forever? I hardly think so.....if it was for me, it would have happened already. It did not, so I put myself in centre.....

Anyways, having a family, kids, married and stuff.....the older I get, the less likely that is going to happen.....and maybe all for the good!

HamsterHuey said:

.....and jony you are a great guy


aw thanks guys- i try to ya'know drop my wisdom when i can

no sweat

abierman said:

you could have kids easy!

come out with me one night-i guarantee within a week you'll be paying child support for the rest of your natural

jonylawson said:

but..but....I think I said I don't want them.....I'm 37, I'll be a really old fart by the time they're any fun!

oh i'm cut out for it alrite, just not with anyone that hurts me, not even once. time waits for no man, and certainly no idiot.

superkiss said:

Then why do you keep coming back?

abierman said:

im being daft and idiotic but realy kids are brilliant

the joy my son gives me is insomountable-
and i cant even spell that!

and his mum was/is the love of my life

jonylawson said:

I guess we assumed you already knew that.

shanti0608 said:

no i have a definate org persecution complex

wildgoldenhoney said:

to teach arrogant presumptious people like you a lesson.

jonylawson said:

Ppl post on your threads..you are fine.

yeah you know im fine

jonylawson said:

yeah girl im looking at u

shanti0608 said:

:hmm2:dang girl-u married?

shanti0608 said:

get your fine ass in my limo

jonylawson said:

You cannot laugh at the opposite sex if you are married?

sometimes i think people take my written word as literal

its meant to evoke tone,evoke humour ev.....forgot it

jonylawson said:

We don't always take you seriously.

superkiss said:

Why do you presume to try to 'teach' anyone?
I don't want to learn anything from you.

wildgoldenhoney said:

how bout we start by teaching you not to stalk people like me just cuz u dont like what they say?

clearly ur askin to be taught cuz u havent learned that lesson yet.