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Printableblueblossom said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: Whenever my nephews complain and whine about having to watch their baby sister I remind them this could be their full time job if they are stupid and careless  They always go  brilliant - see that is what kids need to hear. Yeah they know about the biological aspects of sex but don't seem to comprehend the effects. You can be as informative and "loving" as you like but in these days you have to put out harsh brutal facts to save their lives. I don't intend to be namby pamby about what is out there and what sort of behaviour I expect of them. If they can't respect themselves how the hell do they expect me to! I feel you.....  The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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JustErin said: roodboi said: while you're at it, could you check my posts again since you misquoted me?? Relax dude. We all know he meant RodeoSchro. That's not true. There's a big difference between Roadboi's philosophy and RodeoShro's. To be misquoted, requires a correction, so those members who aren't here on a regular basis, don't get confused as to who said what. You're being presumptuous with the "we all know". Not everyone reads entire threads, just bits and pieces. I don't believe, you would tolerate being misrepresented, in any way.  [Edited 5/20/08 19:24pm] | |
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I'll get crucified for saying this...
But I think one of the more important things in keeping a girl from engaging in sex too soon is having a close male relative (father, uncle, grandfather) who gives her love, attention and approval. A girl who has a man who loves and cares about her is not going to seek physical affection from boys who don't. Rodeo's been getting hammered in this thread...but I guarantee that his daughters knowing that he will kick a boy's ass for messing with them gives them what they need to resist any such advances. And there's nothing that tears most girls up more than disappointing daddy. This is not meant to denigrate single mothers in any way. I know y'all do the very best you can. I'm just saying that you can't overstate the importance of a father in all this. We don’t mourn artists because we knew them. We mourn them because they helped us know ourselves. | |
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Genesia said: I'll get crucified for saying this...
But I think one of the more important things in keeping a girl from engaging in sex too soon is having a close male relative (father, uncle, grandfather) who gives her love, attention and approval. A girl who has a man who loves and cares about her is not going to seek physical affection from boys who don't. Rodeo's been getting hammered in this thread...but I guarantee that his daughters knowing that he will kick a boy's ass for messing with them gives them what they need to resist any such advances. And there's nothing that tears most girls up more than disappointing daddy. This is not meant to denigrate single mothers in any way. I know y'all do the very best you can. I'm just saying that you can't overstate the importance of a father in all this. I reckon you could be right, a strong male role model, shows her how it feels to be valued and respected as a whole person. | |
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Genesia said: I'll get crucified for saying this...
But I think one of the more important things in keeping a girl from engaging in sex too soon is having a close male relative (father, uncle, grandfather) who gives her love, attention and approval. A girl who has a man who loves and cares about her is not going to seek physical affection from boys who don't. Rodeo's been getting hammered in this thread...but I guarantee that his daughters knowing that he will kick a boy's ass for messing with them gives them what they need to resist any such advances. And there's nothing that tears most girls up more than disappointing daddy. This is not meant to denigrate single mothers in any way. I know y'all do the very best you can. I'm just saying that you can't overstate the importance of a father in all this. Oh, I totally agree with that but I don't think the whole threatening to kick boys' ass is necessary or even effective as a deterrent at all. | |
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I don't know the answer to the question.
What I DO know, when actually put in a situation that's speculative: Everything can change, when actually faced with the circumstances. There's theory, then there's reality. All your beliefs, practicality, etc, can be out the window. There isn't a solution written in ink, that works for everyone. | |
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JustErin said: Ottensen said: This post really put a smile on my face  It's refreshing to see a parent so involved with their kids - definitely the way it should be but no mention of having any sex discussions with the two older children and especially that comment about forcing an abortion are things *I* can not agree with at all.
That line right there was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. As for the sex talk...my 10 year-old is very immature with respect to that. He's the introverted, intellectual type (like myself). He is still playing with action figures. Sometimes it worries me because his classmates seem to be past that...but my wife says "why rush it"? Let him hold on to his innocence for as long as possible. He did at one point tell us that he considered a classmate "beautiful" so we had the "respect" and "mind your personal space" talk with him. Any day now I figure I'll need to sit down and have the "birds & bees" talk with him. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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Genesia said: I'll get crucified for saying this...
Nah, I won't crucify you, I just disagree.But I think one of the more important things in keeping a girl from engaging in sex too soon is having a close male relative (father, uncle, grandfather) who gives her love, attention and approval. A girl who has a man who loves and cares about her is not going to seek physical affection from boys who don't. Rodeo's been getting hammered in this thread...but I guarantee that his daughters knowing that he will kick a boy's ass for messing with them gives them what they need to resist any such advances. And there's nothing that tears most girls up more than disappointing daddy. This is not meant to denigrate single mothers in any way. I know y'all do the very best you can. I'm just saying that you can't overstate the importance of a father in all this. | |
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PurpleJedi said: JustErin said: It's refreshing to see a parent so involved with their kids - definitely the way it should be but no mention of having any sex discussions with the two older children and especially that comment about forcing an abortion are things *I* can not agree with at all.
That line right there was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. As for the sex talk...my 10 year-old is very immature with respect to that. He's the introverted, intellectual type (like myself). He is still playing with action figures. Sometimes it worries me because his classmates seem to be past that...but my wife says "why rush it"? Let him hold on to his innocence for as long as possible. He did at one point tell us that he considered a classmate "beautiful" so we had the "respect" and "mind your personal space" talk with him. Any day now I figure I'll need to sit down and have the "birds & bees" talk with him. do it before he's even interested in having sex at all  | |
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evenstar3 said: PurpleJedi said:
That line right there was meant to be tongue-in-cheek. As for the sex talk...my 10 year-old is very immature with respect to that. He's the introverted, intellectual type (like myself). He is still playing with action figures. Sometimes it worries me because his classmates seem to be past that...but my wife says "why rush it"? Let him hold on to his innocence for as long as possible. He did at one point tell us that he considered a classmate "beautiful" so we had the "respect" and "mind your personal space" talk with him. Any day now I figure I'll need to sit down and have the "birds & bees" talk with him. do it before he's even interested in having sex at all 
OK...maybe when he actually turns 10 in July. By St. Boogar and all the saints at the backside door of Purgatory! | |
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Genesia said: I'll get crucified for saying this...
But I think one of the more important things in keeping a girl from engaging in sex too soon is having a close male relative (father, uncle, grandfather) who gives her love, attention and approval. A girl who has a man who loves and cares about her is not going to seek physical affection from boys who don't. Rodeo's been getting hammered in this thread...but I guarantee that his daughters knowing that he will kick a boy's ass for messing with them gives them what they need to resist any such advances. And there's nothing that tears most girls up more than disappointing daddy. This is not meant to denigrate single mothers in any way. I know y'all do the very best you can. I'm just saying that you can't overstate the importance of a father in all this. I completely agree with you. A sound, positive relationship with a father figure definitely impacts how girls relate and interact with males. But single mother's are still quite capable of instilling self-esteem in their girls. I think what folks on the thread are taking issue with, is Rodeo's viewpoint of laying all the blame on the parents rather than acknowledging that kids can still go astray regardless of how involved a parent may be. At least that's what I got out of our exchanges. | |
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PurpleJedi said: I honestly can't answer this because I may THINK that I would act one way, but wouldn't know until I (God-forbid) actually had to deal with it.
Right now I'd say that I'd force an abortion and send her to a convent in the mountains of Honduras. Yes, I would blame myself. As a parent, you are in control of where they go, what they see, and whom they befriend...although this control erodes with each passing year. Here's how we're trying to prevent such a thing from happening; - we enforce the need for schooling and grades. When she watches a movie where a (teenage) princess is swept off her feet by a dashing prince we make sure to tell her that there are no prince charmings in real life. When she talks about marriage and children (she's 8) we tell her to get a good job, travel the world, and THEN think about marriage. So much so, that if you ask her what she wants, she'll tell you that she wants to be a lawyer or veterinary doctor so that she can see the pyramids in Egypt. - we do not watch MTV. The kids have never seen it. No reality crap with ho's and tramps chasing after horny jocks or ditzy rich bimbos trying to live with average people. Nope. But plenty of Discovery channel, Food Network and Animal Planet. Ask my kids about Paris Hilton and they'll be like; "who?" but ask them about Andrew Zimmer and they can tell you their favorite episode when he ate the frog sashimi in Tokyo. - we go nowhere with out them. We vacation as a family. We shop as a family. We eat dinner as a family. My kids have never been with a babysitter (besides grandma or their aunt). When they're teens, we will continue to expect the same, since they know nothing else. I didn't start "hanging out" with my friends until I was a SENIOR in High School, since my parents kept a tight leash on me. I will attempt the same. Sure, there are no guarantees in life. But I've told them already, (at ages 10, 8 and 6) that my job in life is to make sure that they grow up to be healthy & successful adults, and their job in life is to study hard and be good. That...and the machete in my closet...will hopefully keep my daughter from becoming a baby mama. in agreement.
But if despite my best efforts, it does happen, then it'll have to be dealt with. People make mistakes, as do children, and both parents need to take the role of being a teacher and disciplinarian. You can't control the other kid, you can only deal with your own. | |
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roodboi said: while you're at it, could you check my posts again since you misquoted me??
Sorry, I confused you with Rodeo.     My bad.
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Genesia said: I'll get crucified for saying this...
But I think one of the more important things in keeping a girl from engaging in sex too soon is having a close male relative (father, uncle, grandfather) who gives her love, attention and approval. A girl who has a man who loves and cares about her is not going to seek physical affection from boys who don't. Rodeo's been getting hammered in this thread...but I guarantee that his daughters knowing that he will kick a boy's ass for messing with them gives them what they need to resist any such advances. And there's nothing that tears most girls up more than disappointing daddy. This is not meant to denigrate single mothers in any way. I know y'all do the very best you can. I'm just saying that you can't overstate the importance of a father in all this. i agree | |
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Genesia said: I'll get crucified for saying this...
But I think one of the more important things in keeping a girl from engaging in sex too soon is having a close male relative (father, uncle, grandfather) who gives her love, attention and approval. A girl who has a man who loves and cares about her is not going to seek physical affection from boys who don't. Rodeo's been getting hammered in this thread...but I guarantee that his daughters knowing that he will kick a boy's ass for messing with them gives them what they need to resist any such advances. And there's nothing that tears most girls up more than disappointing daddy. This is not meant to denigrate single mothers in any way. I know y'all do the very best you can. I'm just saying that you can't overstate the importance of a father in all this. It's not foolproof but it can definitely be a factor
I'm also reminded of the "John Mayer 'Daughters'" thread    I never met you, but I LOVE you & I will forever!! Thank you for being YOU - my little Princey, the best to EVER do it | |
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Stymie said: shanti0608 said: You know your daughter better than any of us. Easy for someone to judge until you are in the same situation. I was always a pretty good kid. I never did get pregnant and I was out of her house by time I turned 18 as she wanted. Her other rule was that once you are out on your own there is no coming back. She meant that as well. 
Second: I also want my children out of my home by 18. The oldest was gone but came back temporarily but I have asked him to leave.  I don't want my children to leave my home ever. Why if i could build a castle for all the clan I would. I mean, shes in Universiy this year and has her first job this summer and a car. I would have been sooooo  lost if she chose to go to school away from home. I'd have just been lost. Same for my son but I have a good many years before he has that choice. | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: Stymie said: First thing: change your signature. You are so beautiful to me.
Second: I also want my children out of my home by 18. The oldest was gone but came back temporarily but I have asked him to leave. I don't want my children to leave my home ever. Why if i could build a castle for all the clan I would. I mean, shes in Universiy this year and has her first job this summer and a car. I would have been sooooo lost if she chose to go to school away from home. I'd have just been lost. Same for my son but I have a good many years before he has that choice.I'm with you ...and although I want my kids to grow up to be independant and working mature adults .....they will always be welcome home and I dread the day they will leave ..... | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: Stymie said: First thing: change your signature. You are so beautiful to me.
Second: I also want my children out of my home by 18. The oldest was gone but came back temporarily but I have asked him to leave. I don't want my children to leave my home ever. Why if i could build a castle for all the clan I would. I mean, shes in Universiy this year and has her first job this summer and a car. I would have been sooooo lost if she chose to go to school away from home. I'd have just been lost. Same for my son but I have a good many years before he has that choice.she will stay home with you? that saves a lot of money doesn't it! | |
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ZombieKitten said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: I don't want my children to leave my home ever. Why if i could build a castle for all the clan I would. I mean, shes in University this year and has her first job this summer and a car. I would have been sooooo lost if she chose to go to school away from home. I'd have just been lost. Same for my son but I have a good many years before he has that choice.she will stay home with you? that saves a lot of money doesn't it! Amen sister. Her Uni is 10 minutes or less away!  but i did leave it to her and after we accepted University of San francisco invited her to look into them. She shot it down on the spot!   | |
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Muse2NOPharaoh said: Stymie said: First thing: change your signature. You are so beautiful to me.
Second: I also want my children out of my home by 18. The oldest was gone but came back temporarily but I have asked him to leave. I don't want my children to leave my home ever. Why if i could build a castle for all the clan I would. I mean, shes in Universiy this year and has her first job this summer and a car. I would have been sooooo lost if she chose to go to school away from home. I'd have just been lost. Same for my son but I have a good many years before he has that choice.Some parents are cut out to be parents and some are not. My mom could not wait to have the house all to herself. I guess it is about balance. Also my mom always wanted me to be independent and know how tough it is in the real world. Not sure if I would be so strict about it if it were me.  [Edited 5/21/08 0:54am] | |
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ZombieKitten said: Muse2NOPharaoh said: I don't want my children to leave my home ever. Why if i could build a castle for all the clan I would. I mean, shes in Universiy this year and has her first job this summer and a car. I would have been sooooo lost if she chose to go to school away from home. I'd have just been lost. Same for my son but I have a good many years before he has that choice.she will stay home with you? that saves a lot of money doesn't it! I lived at home for a few years after graduation and was able to save enough money to pay off all my school loans. Then I moved out. I was lucky. | |
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sextonseven said: ZombieKitten said: she will stay home with you? that saves a lot of money doesn't it! I lived at home for a few years after graduation and was able to save enough money to pay off all my school loans. Then I moved out. I was lucky. sounds very sensible to me | |
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