6 months ago, I started dating this girl. We dated for 2 months, then she said she just wanted to be friends, so we became friends. I still had feelings, of course. So I started trying to set up great dates, as friends, thinking I could still woo her over. We continued to be "friends" yet I kept trying. Now its out of control, I've confessed my love for her but she laughs it off. Its killin me, lol. I'm totally whipped on this girl, my friend.

I don't believe in chasing anyone who's not interested. Having said that, there are times when women will feign non-interest and you can tell that they really are. But if you're getting no sense of this person being interested at all, despite your overtures, I say let it go. Life's too short. And there are too many other women out there for you to meet.

until you get tired of chasing and someone new comes along who interests you, at which point the former object of your affection will notice that you are suddenly unavailable and that will magically make you at least 50% more attractive to her, at which point it will be a moot point for you other than maybe you can laugh at how the tables have turned and now you're making her miserable, which is always a healthy way to approach things. love is magical.

I don't. If they're not showing interest in me, I give up and move on.

Anxiety said:

that is totally typical

Anxiety said:

you're on a roll tonight.
[Edited 5/12/08 19:03pm]

Anxiety said:

agreed.

i play hard to get..i shouldn't i am not really aesthetically pleasing.

I wouldn't waste too much time chasing after her. It sounds futile. If you're hung like your avatar then you shouldn't have any problem finding someone else.

OK, so here's a little addition to the story. This past weekend, my friend asked me to come to the bar and hang out. (collage town, massive amounts of people in a large group). At the end of the night, my friend went off with some other jackass. At 3 in the morning, as I stewed in my pity, I deleted her from my life. Deleting her off Facebook, that sort of thing, and I sent her a very harsh text which said: "you invite me out, i buy you drinks all night and you blow me off. don't call me...ever. delete this number from your phone"

The next day I left an apology on voicemail. She still hasn't contacted me. Now I fear I've blown the friendship...or she's just letting me grovel for a bit.

SexGod said:

you've probably blown the friendship.

but time heals this kind of thing. down the road, you might bump into her at a party and you'll both be a little tipsy, and she'll be all "what the hell was your damage?" and you'll be all "hell, i don't know" and she'll call you a dork and then you'll be back in each other's social circles again as if nothing ever happened.

Anxiety said:

ah, that's encouraging

R3V said:

i've lived the nightmare.

Anxiety said:

i think we all have.

JasmineFire said:

i don't know which side of the nightmare is worse. being the obsessive person or being the person who's being obsessed over. neither is exactly a feel-good extravaganza.

Anxiety said:

it sucks all around. from being in both positions at one time or another all i have to say is that the obsession is never worth the external and internal drama it creates. everyone should learn the power of letting go.

JasmineFire said:

it's the most difficult thing in the world to behave like a grown-up when you're crazy about someone and they're not giving you the attention you want from them. but it's also ridiculously difficult when you're the one being bothered, to realize that you were once that insanely annoying to someone as well, for the same damn reason.

JasmineFire said:

i'm a firm believer of the power of giving in

R3V said:

i'm a firm believe of the power of giving hea...

uhh

healthy handshakes

Anxiety said:

i had something to say here, but i think i'll show some restraint.

Anxiety said:

yeah...me, too.

R3V said:

Anxiety said:

I agree
I wonder if we had a video tape to see how we are in those situations would it make it stop I have an ex who is still doing it. at first i felt sorry for him and tried to be friendly but now it just makes me angry and annoyed

Letting go is so in

Brownsugar said:

i think it gets easier with age and experience, for some of us anyway.

Anxiety said:

he's nearing his 30s and its been 3 years

I can't even remember since it was at least 3 imago accounts ago. You'll have to ask Anxiety.

Anxiety said:

Totally.

Except, I have a tendency to give into them when they decide they want me now.

Brownsugar said:

ouch.

JustErin said:

*note to self - start obsessing over JustErin*

i chased someone for years that was my good friend, had to realize it's a big waste of time once i did that, and moved on, i met my true soulmate!