every couple of months i watch a videotape of christmas 2005. not so much just to focus on my mom, but just to marvel at how innocent everything seemed. even then, her health wasn't the best. you never think the next christmas is going to be somebody's last with you. when i used to listen to "last december", i just always thought of it as a cool song...now it is very introspective about how i've lived my life and what have i really done to do things for others. when my mom took ill in jan 2007, i reaaranged my whole life to help her through it because i loved her and knew she would do the same for me or my siblings. there were only 3 or 4 days out of her last 9 months that i didn't see her, talk to her, touch her. that in itself has made me get trough this tough time. having her tell me she loved me and appreciated everything i was doing for her has made me a better man and a better son.

This is my second without her and it doesn't get easier.

to everyone here.

Slave2daGroove said:

To all who have lost their mothers.

Slave2daGroove said:

It's been 15 mother's days without her and no, it doesn't get easier.

to everyone and their beautiful mommies.

I couldn't imagine what it's like...

u all are so sweet, looooove the hugs lol

missmad said:

that's very sweet. i think that's hardest for me right now is, i'll go into a store and see something that would be perfect to get my mom for mother's day, and then i stop myself and remember that there's no point in getting it now.

Anxiety said:

:bigunbearablytighthug:

Anxiety said:

I know it is not enough.....

Anxiety said:

Our mothers were born in the same month one year apart just like the two of us.

Stymie said:

wow, i never realized that.

Anxiety said:

I believe your mom's BD was February 6, my mom was the 7th.

Stymie said:

Great women were born in February. My great grand mom (best lady in the world) was born February 8th.

She was the best. I miss her.

So many of my friends have lost their moms recently. to all who have lost their mothers.

What a happy beautiful picture FURY!!!!! I'm loving her name too.

My mom passed in 1994. She was amazing. She worked 7 days a week, 12 hour days (back in the day) and still came home to cook dinner. She used to say that the times when she was working hard were the best times for her.

Believe me it's hard at first, as you know, but it does get better. I promise.

The first Mother's day without my Mom (11 years ago) Our whole family was a mess, we did not do very well. My 2 sisters and one brother, all adults, felt lost. We were in a daze even. We decided to focus on each other, as our Mom would have wished for. I now buy beautiful presents for each of my sisters, and try my best to make them feel special. My sisters do the same for me, and our brother tries. (he is a different story)
I do not go to the cemetary on that day, I go one or two days before and leave her an "african violet" her favorite plant. It makes me feel better. I try and be happy and strong, as I have 4 kids of my own and would not like to put a damper on their celebration of the day.

MIGUELGOMEZ said:

Fury, Mary Magdalene is our patron saint!

I am sorry for everyone who has lost their mother. I always have in mind that my mom isn't getting younger and that one day she will be gone and I try to make the most of the time we still have by spending time together and enjoying each other's company doing the things we like to do. Right now my mom is a stay at home mom and she's taking care of 2 young grandchildren and most in the house don't understand her and what makes her tick

Last night I totally validated her in so many ways by acknowledging that when people complain that the house isn't spotless, that she used to have a household of 5 and that has now doubled with my sister and the kids and I understand how there isn't enough time in a day to watch 2 babies and keep up with 10 other people. I acknowledged that it was her hard work that helped her to buy us a house and put a roof over our heads and keep that house when she became a single mother and how she did it all on her own. I acknowledged how she made sure we never went hungry and that we always had clothes on our backs.

I have been with her the longest out of everyone in the house. I am her first child and I remember how things used to be even if others don't and I remind them to give mom the respect that she deserves. I love my mom so much and I think everyone who still has their mother, appreciate them and let them know your love every chance you get. You will miss being able to do so when you can't anymore.

Everyone who's mom has passed, you have my love and support.

They are forever in our hearts.

It's 12 years since my precious mom died.
Her name was Rosalia. My roses have a two fold purpose:
1st They are lovely. @)-}----
2nd They are in memory of her...@)-}----

sorry to everyone but thanks for sharing your stories

shanti0608 said:

my mommy is/was feb 17th.

Fury said:

Anxiety said:

JerseyKRS said:

I agree!

my mom's the best

Mother's Day

My mother died when I was 6. I'm told that I was a mama's boy and that she adored me but I have only the foggiest memories of her. One of the dumbest and cruelest things my father did was to not tell my sister and I that she had died but that she was gone for awhile and that we'd see her again soon. I'm told that I used to wait by the door of my grandmother's house for her, or that I'd ask if that was my mother on the phone everytime the phone rang. I used to fall asleep, say at my grandmother's house, and wake up at an aunt's house or at the house of one my father's friends. I guess my father must've come in the night and take us to a different place each night. Don't know how long the time frame was. It could've been a few months or a whole year, I don't remember. But no one. Not my father, grandparents, aunts and uncles ever came right out and said that she was dead. One day when I was 7 or so my father took us to the cemetary and simply told us she was dead. I remember that day very clearly. And that day, that moment when I realised she was dead and realised what being dead meant made such an impression on my little boy psyche that it left permanent scars. One of the side effects of that moment, I think, is my inability to sleep more that a few hours each night. I've never been a good sleeper and naps are out of the question. For years I used to wake up in a panic and full of anxiety. Never really knowing why. A therapist suggested it probably had something to do with the whole falling asleep in one place and waking up in another. And fear of abandonment is something I've only recently over came, through a lot of hard work but I've left a nasty trail of bad relationships.

So, Mother's Day for me is a cruel reminder. I don't relate. I have a step-mother who was decent enough I guess but hugs and words of encouragement and 'l love yous' was not something she doled out to my sister and me and it was painful to see her give out that kind of affection to my step siblings. I've never had that type of intimacy. And my father, well the best way to describe him is to say that he never grew up.

I moved out when I was 17 and I have been on my own ever since. Mother's Day is such a hard holiday for me to deal with, it bothers me. All the hype and flowers and candy and everyone running around talking about how great their moms are.

Wow, guess I had to get that out. Sorry for the buzz kill.

TheResistor said:

don't ever be sorry.
my mom"left" when i was 10, still can't get myself 2 say/type that she u no.
it affected me a lot as well, it has been 13yrs and i am only just starting 2 get my life 2gether.

it is also a reason why i will never ever ever have children. this fear of getting sick and thus leaving and having my kids live the life i lived, no way.

TheResistor said:

Beloved
1st:
2nd: I don't know who your precious mom was. However (speaking from a mother's heart) there's one thing I know...your mom didn't want to leave her babies.

You are still her child no matter what has happened. I'm sure she held you & kissed you in those six years before she died. That you don't recall, doesn't mean it never happened. As for your dad...sometimes people do what they think is best - without giving it a second thought. Sometimes their "best" leaves a lot to be desired.

Mother's Day is for all mothers to be celebrated. Puerto Ricans have a tradition that we wear a carnation on Mother's Day. If she's alive - it is red. If she's passed on, it's white. I think if she's away from you - then it's a pink one. I hope one day, as you continue to mend your broken heart, you can buy flowers in memory of your mom. It doesn't have to be on Mother's Day. Just because she was alive once. You & your sister are the evidence of her life.

Here's a website re: natural remedies for insomnia (consult your physican 1st):

http://www.sleeptips.org/...sleep.html

again...

I know this is about mothers and I am very sorry for all of those here that have lost a parent. I am thankful that my mother is still with us, however, my wife lost her father a month ago yesterday. It has been a really hard month. We usually saw him about once a year and he was scheduled to visit last weekend.

Even though he was HER father, his death has impacted me greatly. I have never experienced a genuine loss due to death. I have had plenty of grandparents and uncles die, and not to lesson their passing, but when they died we celebrated their life as they had lived long full lives and there deaths were not unexpected. This was a total shock as he had a heart attack a month after his 65th birthday. He appeared to be in better shape than I am. This has left a huge void in our lives.

Prior to his death, I would have just passed over a thread like this. My thought process has always been that when one dies you go to the funeral, cry for a little while, celebrate the life of the deceased, and then get back to life. I see things very differently now after losing someone so close to me, my wife and of course my stepmother-in-law who is left to live the rest of her years without the one person in this world that she loved more than anything. Getting back to life has not been easy. Everything from time with my children to seeing a concert is bittersweet.

Sunday will be a sad day at my house because my wife, the mother of my two children will be thinking about her dad and how proud he was to see her as a mom. Thankfully, my wife's brother will be visiting and we will be sure to have a beer and toast their father. Hopefully we will be able to start talking about the good memories that we have without busting into tears - as I am now.

My heart goes out to all of you living with a loss.