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PrintablePricelessHo said: .
anyone here has/is? and for how long? Every situation is different. Should infidelity be grounds for immediate divorce? With children, parents have to look at the big picture. It's not a matter of walking away from a "bad marriage" it's also breaking up the family. As I've stated before, marriage is more than husband and wife, it's a partnership over time, with accumulated experiences, assets, etc. Sometimes it's better to forgive and move on, accepting we're human with imperfections, than throw it all away. If you really can't stand to get up in the morning with your spouse lying next to you, definitely it's time to get out.....people deserve to be happy. | |
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Graycap23 said: jbchavez said: My oldest is in the 5th grade and most of his friend's parents are divorced. In fact, my daughter is in the 2nd grade and she has friends whose parents are divorced. I think I would try extremely hard not to get a divorce. I wouldnt want to hurt my kids.
Being in a BAD marraige is HURTING your kids. Yes, I know. That is why I work on having a good marriage. Isn't that the best way to avoid a divorce? | |
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Yes, it is. Don't keep secrets. Stay away from bad elements on the org....seriously.
Talk...and don't disrespect. jbchavez said: Graycap23 said: Being in a BAD marraige is HURTING your kids. Yes, I know. That is why I work on having a good marriage. Isn't that the best way to avoid a divorce? | |
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AlienX2050 said: It's funny how no one in here is saying get help...advice from a professional.
Funny how this is on the org... And I wonder how many of dysfunctional individuals posted on this thread. Always the easy answer, right? Leave? And I wonder how many would even speak out. 
[Edited 4/30/08 7:03am] My husband and I did get professional help. We went to marriage counseling. It didn't work. It didn't change things. I disagree. Leaving is not the easy answer. Making the choice to leave was heartbreaking, gut wrenching, and sickening. Do you not think I thought about how this would affect my kids? Do you think that I didn't have a lot of guilt? I hate that our family was broken. But you know what? Sometimes it has to be that way. We don't live in a fantasy world where everything has a happy ending. I look at my divorce as the lesser of two evils. Please don't assume that leaving was an easy choice for me. | |
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pardonme4livin said: 17 years and counting...
 I have you beat by 2 years  It isn't the load that breaks us down, it's the way we carry it. | |
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MrsMdiver said: I can only speak from personal experiences. I know that all situations are different like Hokie said earlier.
It has to be dealt with on a case by case basis I guess. I was 12 years old when my parents divorced. When my mom and I ran away and hide from my abusive father in Florida, many ppl would ask me if I was sad that my parents were divorcing. My parents divorcing was the best thing for all of us. I feared everyday when we were all together that my mom would be killed and I would be forced to live with my father the rest of my childhood. I do not think that some adults realise how observant and aware children are of their surroundings. Children know when their parents are not happy. I am so glad that my mom finally got us out of that situation. We left many times but the last time we went far enough away that he could not find us for a while. Parents really need to think about their children and recognise the harm they could be doing by staying together. It is a huge amount of pressure on the children as well when you say you are just staying for them. I think that it does depend on the situation. Just remember that kids know more than you think they know about what is really going on.  No More Haters on the Internet. | |
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eVeRsOlEsA said: pardonme4livin said: 17 years and counting...
I have you beat by 2 years Both of you Rhythm floods my heart♥The melody it feeds my soul | |
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AlienX2050 said: Yes, it is. Don't keep secrets. Stay away from bad elements on the org....seriously.
Talk...and don't disrespect. jbchavez said: Yes, I know. That is why I work on having a good marriage. Isn't that the best way to avoid a divorce? Why especially the org? every evironment/community has bad elements. What's so special about the org? Not to mention that you are part of the org too. Most of us answered from our own experience. I know the choice for my parents was the right one. It's not an easy way, it's a life changing way. Starting a new life is not easy, especially if you lived many of your adult years married, being used to a specific way of life, and then you need to start all over. Where's the easy part in this? I don't believe too much in counceling in order to fix things. Because most of the time you reach that point too late and already have bad feelings towards each other, that are very difficult to get rid of, especially if not both side commit 100% to saving the marriage. There's no easy in any of the decisions made. Staying is hard because you are miserable, councelling is not easy because both sides need to want that and be willing to do whatever it takes, meaning changing their ways, and leaving is not easy because you are starting a new life, yet have responsibilities for your kids, and need to deal with an ex, who won't make your life any easy. | |
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littlemissG said: MrsMdiver said: I can only speak from personal experiences. I know that all situations are different like Hokie said earlier.
It has to be dealt with on a case by case basis I guess. I was 12 years old when my parents divorced. When my mom and I ran away and hide from my abusive father in Florida, many ppl would ask me if I was sad that my parents were divorcing. My parents divorcing was the best thing for all of us. I feared everyday when we were all together that my mom would be killed and I would be forced to live with my father the rest of my childhood. I do not think that some adults realise how observant and aware children are of their surroundings. Children know when their parents are not happy. I am so glad that my mom finally got us out of that situation. We left many times but the last time we went far enough away that he could not find us for a while. Parents really need to think about their children and recognise the harm they could be doing by staying together. It is a huge amount of pressure on the children as well when you say you are just staying for them. I think that it does depend on the situation. Just remember that kids know more than you think they know about what is really going on. Thanks sweetheart . There are so many children that are growing up with parents that just stay together thinking they are doing what's best for the children.
In some cases like mine, it is not the best thing to do. I could have done without growing up surrounded by violence and abuse for 12 years. I don't get the mention of the org either. If we are so crazy and dysfunctional then why are you posting hereAlienX2050?  | |
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My mom passed away in 1994 and my dad remarried in 2000(?). WHY DID I HAVE A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT ABOUT THIS THREAD? It was horrible.
I dreamt that my mom and dad were having marriage trouble. My dad said he was going to leave and my mom and I were very upset. I woke up and felt awful. It's funny 'cause I went to sleep again and I went back to the dream and everything was resolved. My dad was going to stay. MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: My mom passed away in 1994 and my dad remarried in 2000(?). WHY DID I HAVE A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT ABOUT THIS THREAD? It was horrible.
I dreamt that my mom and dad were having marriage trouble. My dad said he was going to leave and my mom and I were very upset. I woke up and felt awful. It's funny 'cause I went to sleep again and I went back to the dream and everything was resolved. My dad was going to stay.
Love you handsome! | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: My mom passed away in 1994 and my dad remarried in 2000(?). WHY DID I HAVE A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT ABOUT THIS THREAD? It was horrible.
I dreamt that my mom and dad were having marriage trouble. My dad said he was going to leave and my mom and I were very upset. I woke up and felt awful. It's funny 'cause I went to sleep again and I went back to the dream and everything was resolved. My dad was going to stay. awww I will love you forever and you will never be forgotten - L.A.F.  | |
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shanti0608 said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: My mom passed away in 1994 and my dad remarried in 2000(?). WHY DID I HAVE A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT ABOUT THIS THREAD? It was horrible.
I dreamt that my mom and dad were having marriage trouble. My dad said he was going to leave and my mom and I were very upset. I woke up and felt awful. It's funny 'cause I went to sleep again and I went back to the dream and everything was resolved. My dad was going to stay.
Love you handsome! Love you back honey! MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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REDFEATHERS said: MIGUELGOMEZ said: My mom passed away in 1994 and my dad remarried in 2000(?). WHY DID I HAVE A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT ABOUT THIS THREAD? It was horrible.
I dreamt that my mom and dad were having marriage trouble. My dad said he was going to leave and my mom and I were very upset. I woke up and felt awful. It's funny 'cause I went to sleep again and I went back to the dream and everything was resolved. My dad was going to stay. awww Hey honey! MyeternalgrattitudetoPhil&Val.Herman said "We want sweaty truckers at the truck stop! We want cigar puffing men that look like they wanna beat the living daylights out of us" Val"sporking is spooning with benefits" | |
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MIGUELGOMEZ said: My mom passed away in 1994 and my dad remarried in 2000(?). WHY DID I HAVE A NIGHTMARE LAST NIGHT ABOUT THIS THREAD? It was horrible.
I dreamt that my mom and dad were having marriage trouble. My dad said he was going to leave and my mom and I were very upset. I woke up and felt awful. It's funny 'cause I went to sleep again and I went back to the dream and everything was resolved. My dad was going to stay. That is why I concentrate on creating experiences for my children. I want them to have a childhoold field with positive, loving memories. I never want to break their hearts. Of course, all of that begins with loving my wife. | |
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I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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hokie said: AlienX2050 said: It's funny how no one in here is saying get help...advice from a professional.
Funny how this is on the org... And I wonder how many of dysfunctional individuals posted on this thread. Always the easy answer, right? Leave? And I wonder how many would even speak out.
[Edited 4/30/08 7:03am] My husband and I did get professional help. We went to marriage counseling. It didn't work. It didn't change things. I disagree. Leaving is not the easy answer. Making the choice to leave was heartbreaking, gut wrenching, and sickening. Do you not think I thought about how this would affect my kids? Do you think that I didn't have a lot of guilt? I hate that our family was broken. But you know what? Sometimes it has to be that way. We don't live in a fantasy world where everything has a happy ending. I look at my divorce as the lesser of two evils. Please don't assume that leaving was an easy choice for me. THANK YOU Staying is easier than leaving. Just because people stay together doesn't mean it's right. In the situation of my parents, my parents could have gone to counceling but this was a time when women were expected to be certain things and where women bought into that. I agree if both people are willing that therapy can be a good option but sometimes you know therapy isn't going to make right what is simply wrong. Glad that you had the strength to do what needed to be done Hokie. I love you 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: hokie said: My husband and I did get professional help. We went to marriage counseling. It didn't work. It didn't change things. I disagree. Leaving is not the easy answer. Making the choice to leave was heartbreaking, gut wrenching, and sickening. Do you not think I thought about how this would affect my kids? Do you think that I didn't have a lot of guilt? I hate that our family was broken. But you know what? Sometimes it has to be that way. We don't live in a fantasy world where everything has a happy ending. I look at my divorce as the lesser of two evils. Please don't assume that leaving was an easy choice for me. THANK YOU Staying is easier than leaving. Just because people stay together doesn't mean it's right. In the situation of my parents, my parents could have gone to counceling but this was a time when women were expected to be certain things and where women bought into that. I agree if both people are willing that therapy can be a good option but sometimes you know therapy isn't going to make right what is simply wrong. Glad that you had the strength to do what needed to be done Hokie. I love you  Thanks Richard.  | |
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Adisa said: | |
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Stymie said: Adisa said:
I'm sick and tired of the Prince fans being sick and tired of the Prince fans that are sick and tired! | |
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hokie said: SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said: THANK YOU [b]Staying is easier than leaving.[/b] Just because people stay together doesn't mean it's right. In the situation of my parents, my parents could have gone to counceling but this was a time when women were expected to be certain things and where women bought into that. I agree if both people are willing that therapy can be a good option but sometimes you know therapy isn't going to make right what is simply wrong. Glad that you had the strength to do what needed to be done Hokie. I love you Thanks Richard. You're so right. I'm bumbling through a fairly rubbish relationship of 13 yrs at the mo - get on fine but no sex at all. Not the be all and end all but important. It's my doing...i've completely fallen for someone else, i'm a bit all or nothing - while I feel like this about someone else i can't make things right with my partner. Staying just seems the easier option.  | |
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