In your potential partner/relationship/marriage/etc would you sacrifice things you enjoy for the sake of your situation or would you much rather do what your partner enjoys even if you are not in total agreement with it?

Basically would you do something in the relationship or whatever to keep your partner happy and fulfilled or would you fight him/her tooth and nail saying I just won't do it, even for you?

Not just sexually either....across the board?

And

If you are one that will not engage in the interests of your partner, would you allow him to pursue them outside of your situation?

I just got out of a 12 year marriage where I totally put aside my wants/needs for the sake of his. I will NEVER do that again. I lost sight of myself and what I wanted and needed to be happy. That, IMO is not healthy.

That is not saying that I don't believe in balance. Of course there are times where I may indulge my partner by say, going to a sporting event that I couldn't care less about. But, for the most part I would have to say no.

I would absolutely support his desire to meet that need without me.

I HATE camping. I did it for years because he liked it and my sons liked it. I loathed it, dreaded it, and was miserable while doing it. I got to the point where I said you know...it's your thing and that's GREAT! I encouraged him to do it with the boys and to have it be a male bonding thing. But I finally put my foot down and said that I woudln't do it anymore.

I was much happier for doing so and so were they! I was just a downer by going along because I hated it so much.

support, support, support

Healthy relationships are about compromise and support -- as long as respect/self-respect isn't being sacrificed in the process.

If both parties are equally committed then the sacrifice path works because both parties do and it works out. If only one party does then it undermines you

Funny how this thread went...you people are interesting...I mean the ones that DIDN'T post...LOL

Depends on what it is, really.
There are some things I might try that I don't normally like all that well just for the sake of doing things together.
Of course, if my partner is, say, an american football fanatic, then no. I'm simply never gonna enjoy that. And I don't care to try. I'd be happy to let him go off with whoever to watch games and such. We can have separate interests.
But if he wants, say, crazy kinky sex with lots of other women, then no. That's not gonna work. Not something I'm willing to sacrifice for a relationship. We'd be done over that.

Sometimes, especially if I get the same from my partner. There are some lines I can't cross, hopefully those things are worked out in the beginning.

DexMSR said:

I'm not in the mood to have people shit on my thoughts today. Thanks.

CarrieMpls said:

What if he wants crazy kinky sex from YOU.....??

i think it's important to be accommodating and also to look at compromises within the scope of the bigger picture. if you don't pressure your partner with the things they're not comfortable with, then maybe someday they'll come around and give it a try, or else you'll find that what was important to you at the beginning of the relationship isn't so important now that you haven't had an outlet for an extended amount of time. i think serious committed relationships help you grow up and grow out of the party-party behaviors of being young and single. not that relationships are the death-knell of youth or fun, but they give you something more substantial in which to invest. so maybe some of the sacrifices are a part of maturing, and the relationship just helps to facilitate that growth.

DexMSR said:

Well, that's a given.

For my current love, I would sacrifice everything.

Imago said:

awww

you realize this isn't another hairstyle thread, right?

Anxiety said:

I was actually going to ask Dex if this thread was about hair.


But being that I may be slamming some drinks with him this fall in Hotlanta, I figured I should not be so damned irritating.



And yes. I would sacrifice everything in my power to make this work between me and my Squishbunny

Anxiety said:

This is what all good relationships should do for both parties.

Anxiety said:

Nice post!!!

Imago said:

sometimes things don't even seem like a sacrifice really, either.

evenstar3 said:

That's I was thinking. When you're ready to be with that person your priorities, wants, and desires should change, be realigned, without you even making much of an effort. People are just naturally resistant to change and I think assume that giving themselves to someone means everything has to be turned upside down.