OK.

I just got word that someone very dear to me was kicked out of his own house by his *single* mother and grandmother for being gay.
i'm not going into details but i want some discussion.


THIS SHOULD NEVER BE AN ISSUE IN A FAMILY - ONE SHOULD NEVER BE TURNED AWAY BECAUSE OF THIS.

Why is this happening? Has this ever happened to you, or perhaps someone in your family?


DISCUSS your DISGUST.




THIS BELONGS IN THIS FORUM. I DO NOT WANT TO DISCUSS THIS IN P&R. IF THIS GETS MOVED IT MIGHT AS WELL BE LOCKED AND DELETED. And if that happens, I'll understand how things work here.
[Edited 4/16/08 12:34pm]

It is awful that this is still happening. Total ignorance.

for your friend

Well I have lived in estrangement for many years from my family. See I quit them because they are druggies, users and alcoholic.

Most folks here know that I have been taking care of my Grandmother for 16 years by myself. My parents are dead and my family are predetors, if they can use you they will kill you or destroy you in some way!!!

I said NO when I was 12 and I havn't looked back either!!! My Gradnmother knows only death will separate us and if I go first she will still be taken care of VIA my insurance money.

I have gay family members so what I love them. I could have been born gay so what??

Family does not garantee happiness or pain we can't choose our family. Some orgers here are closer to me than blood!!!!!

rachel3 said:

i've really missed you girl really really missed you


and susannah, thank you

Religion & society colliding in horrific proportions.

I have known quite a few people that were kicked out of the house because of this as children. I mean 14 and 16 are still kids and as hard a time as my family had with my coming out, the first thing my mom told me when I told her was that she was not going to kick me out of the house. It took a long while for my family to come to grips with it and now 20 years later everyone is fine but they didn't initally completely reject me either.

If this happened in my family I would make it clear to whatever pathetic human being I happened to be related to that they are wrong for this and I would do my best to help that kid who is being victimized by their own flesh and blood. I mean this is your child. The baby you gave birth to. Get a fucking grip man.

..
[Edited 4/16/08 12:35pm]

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

THANK YOU. and it's her first child no less, and she lost her second son to meningitis 7 years ago... she's pretty much lost another son, her only two sons, now out of her life...

i really feel for my cousin, and as soon as i'm actually back home i'll be helping him as much as possible to get back on his feet and to live away from the family
it's in his best interest, there are nothing but homophobes on this side of the family.. and it sickens me to say the absolute least...

sammij said:

I love my kids 2 much 2 do some dumb ass sh*t like that. That's DEEP.

People are still raising their kids with this kind of hatred but thankfully the younger generation just doesn't care as much about this as the older generations do. One day this will be irrelevant and I hope to get a glimpse of it in my lifetime.

sammij said:

Do you think she is rejecting him for fear of losing him too and that the homophobia is just an excuse for a bigger fear of hers?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

i don't know...
she seems very... removed from things... i've never been close to her so it could be a reasoning.
but its a cowardly thing to do on her part, regardless.
this isn't something a mother should do. at all.

im so mad, i've got the shakes...
i'm just trying to get in touch with him so we can plan out his next step.

Sad indeed. As for the thread, i belongs in Politics and Religion.

2Jay said:

i dont think it does. and i want it to stay here
i never once mentioned politics, nor religion.
this is a family related thing.

edit: by the way - is this your way of just getting rid of an issue you don't want to see, or discuss? just asking.
[Edited 4/16/08 12:36pm]

2Jay said:

It doesn't and MODS DON'T MOVE IT! It is a general societal issue and really should stay here in GD.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Thanks, luv, i was hoping i wasn't the only one to disagree.

sammij said:

Believe me when I say this but you have no idea how much impact you will have on his life by accepting and supporting him. THANK YOU for this. There are plenty of people who rejected me in my life but I am eternally grateful to those who didn't and I remember them and will remember them forever....

2Jay said:

No it doesn't. Being gay doesn't make you a political issue.

sammij said:

I totally agree that it belongs here, but I'm not sure veiled threats to mods is the way to go here, honey.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

the shocking thing is, i didn't know i had any other option. apparently the rest of my family thinks otherwise... i mean, i grew up with this guy, from when we were like babies... how can i just be like "wow that sucks dude, good luck!" and turn away!?
how can ANYONE do this to family? WHAT THE FUCK.

i love him far too much to just leave him deserted like this, what he needs is support and i'm there for him whether i'm alone or not, no one should go through this, especially after going through a rough upbringing as it is...

FunkMistress said:

no threats, just saying if it moved then i'd prefer to have it deleted all together, i just dont want this treated like a case study or something... he's my cousin... i need help from you all, here in GD, nowhere else.

sammij said:

I understand.

truly fucked up & crazy

rachel3 - stay strong!

In 1988 when I first had my friends become infected with HIV and AIDS I did for them, cooked and took them in. Now my Grandfather was as homophobic as you could get BUT he respected me and seen how much THEY needed me.

I even had family members give clothes and cook for them these were the old folks, they were scared but I educated them so they would understand.

How is this any different than what Black and Jews went through back in the day?? It could have easliy been me or you. If I have the ability to help I just do no questions asked!!!

The plaque that hangs in the Refection Garden that bears my name hasn all the old folks in my family who helped my named on it. I could not have done it without them, they were my bridge over troubled water!!!!!

sammij said:

Keep in mind the most important thing you can do is to support him emotionally. You are young and not in a position to be handing him over money, if you can do that and feel you want to then that is great but don't get guilty if you aren't able to and realize that supporting him morally is probably more important than the money part of it. I hope he has a place to go and that things work out. Hopefully he doesn't turn to the streets because that will be so much worse. That is where so many young whores here in LA come from. Rejects from their families across the country, coming to LA for a shot at a better life. Many of them get swallowed up by the streets, drugs and predators who are just looking for victims. I pray for you and your cousin

rachel3 said:

that's what i plan on doing
thank you for sharing luv
old school folks (SOME of them mind you, not all but a lot of'em) just aren't educated enough where THIS is concerned... i just wish there was a way we could break down that barrier so everyone's informed, there is no more fear, no more hatred... just understanding and compassion.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

thank you

I will never understand it as it is totally foreign to the way my parents raised me.

Very sad.

Fear is some mighty powerful motivation.

I'm at a loss as well