She's my cousin, 24 and still acts like a teenager and I hate being around her, although I've put up with her flaws for years, and it's too bad she can't do the same for me, I'm so sick of her. I have all kinds of friends, and I'm open to those who think differently of me, but she's the biggest brat ever and so spoiled in general.

She thinks I don't look good in bangs when I've never felt so good about myself and everyone else likes it. In fact whenever she sees me, she just has to make a comment about something or another and I don't deserve that. I'm not looking for people to kiss my ass, I just think she's very tacky.

She thinks sending out a birthday invite one month in advance is so stupid and can't get over it and keeps bringing it up (got my blood pressure going with that one) and she just wouldn't shut up about it. My other friends appreciated me letting them know in advance cause they were going to make other plans, and now I'm wishing I never invited her.

She doesn't respect the fact that I don't drink and couldn't believe I refused a shot (and no she's not 12, sadly, that peer pressure crap is sooo juvenille. I have family members that drink casually every now and then, but I don't care cause I'm not interested but won't condemn someone else for doing so.

She thinks she's too good to dance at a wedding with all our relatives and thought it was funny watching them, and thinks it's so uncool to dance to early 80's songs they started the night off with to get people moving. I don't care if she thinks differently from me, it's just her attitude about it that stinks, she has a way of making people feel inferior for not agreeing with her. I just ditched her and danced with everyone I could and had a blast!

We took a course together one time and when I saw someone ahead of me that I'd worked with and said bye to him because it was the last day, she made a face and wondered what I saw in him and thought I liked him like that when that didn't even cross my mind, I thought I should say bye cause we were in a group together for an assignment and I'm just nice like that

When we were teens she told me I look good in dark lipstick when I clearly didn't now that I realize

She likes to accuse me of not caring about my grandparents when I totally do, and will immediately side with them if there is a conflict in the family, while I try to look at both sides and will call out whoever it is for what was said without sugar coating anything. She had no problem calling my stepmom a bitch to my face either.

She organized a dinner for all these friends we have in common and it was fun. I wanted to thank her with a cake cause her birthday was coming up, and when she got it she wondered who it was from and looked so disgusted and mad, I felt anxious about speaking up. Later on I told her it was me and I wanted it to be from all of us to thank her and wish her, but she said now it looks like she threw a party for herself, and though I could see her point, I don't understand why she had to get so mad and pretend she doesn't like attention when I know how she is.

We've had so many good times too, and good conversations too and were there for each other at times, but it was always superficial and though I knew it all along and put up with it, I think I'm ready to move on. We stopped talking to one another when we were teenagers over a big fight over something else and started talking again in our early 20's though we were not close like before at all and still aren't though we had respect for each other, but now she's acting up again. I don't think it's from something going on in her life or anything like that either, she was always this way, the events I've talked about happened over the past 2 years, though most of them were very recent.

Do you think she's worth still talking to cause she's family and life is too short, or should I just cut off contact with her? I usually ignored the flaws cause she's family, but it's draining me and she's just so impossible as a person. People said shit about her to me too and I ignored it before, but they were right all along and I've accepted it. She's too fake and unappreciative and narrowminded about everything.
[Edited 4/11/08 1:35am]

And have any of you had friends like this?

Belive it or not it sounds like she may acually be jealous of u

I didn't want to sound like I'm full of myself, but I also considered that, and I agree with you though it's so silly of her to be. I don't think I'm all that, though there are things I like about myself like my inner strength and surviving struggles in life. I was probably envious about things she had when we were much younger, but I didn't treat her like shit just because I thought she was pretty or had a lot of friends, I accepted and liked those things about her and I think she took advantage of that cause I let her.
[Edited 4/11/08 4:25am]
[Edited 4/11/08 4:30am]

chillichocaholic said:

You guys read that whole thing?

chillichocaholic said:

Give her space maybe she'll out grow it, maybe not. Love her and go on with your life.

morningsong said:

she will never grow out of it, I thought so 10 years ago but people like that don't change. Most of her family acts like that and the sad part is, they don't even realize it.

morningsong said:

she will never grow out of it, I thought so 10 years ago but people like that don't change. Most of her family acts like that and the sad part is, they don't even realize it.

You know...I didn't read the whole thing but just imagine not wasting all your time and energy on this whole thing.

Imagine it? Feels good, eh?

JustErin said:

I feel a bit better today yes, but was stressed last night and felt the need to vent.

I don't understand why you aren't cutting off from her. Just avoid her and she'll get the message hopefully.
[Edited 4/11/08 15:16pm]

I didn't read all of this, but this is a funny picture:

morningsong said:

I read part of this last night, couldn't read it all but yeah just give her some space for you. toxic people suck.

That's the kind of person that grows up to be Hillary Clinton

distance, distance, distance. she may be family, but you shouldn't have to put up with her crap for this long. don't totally cut her off because that'll create even more drama.

Ok I wrote her this really long and detailed email and was about to send it, but I decided to save the draft just in case, because I feel like she will create more drama. But a part of me wants to speak my mind and let her know exactly what is on my mind the way she's been doing for way too long. It's a very blunt email, but it's not totally bashing her, I thanked a few times for being there, and I thanked for helping me realize I want to be NOTHING like her and to pretty much realize that she's not all that and needs to get over herself.

I don't want her showing up at my party at all, so I don't know how else to cut her off cause she already rsvp-ed that she's coming

that's a good point about not totally cutting her off, cause we only chill like once every few months anyways, but still. I also wrote that I love her, but it would be best if we went our own ways
[Edited 4/12/08 13:53pm]
[Edited 4/12/08 13:54pm]

As you invited her to your birthday, you may well have to honour that invite otherwise you'll be accused of creating drama. But after that, start distancing yourself. Don't answer every call etc etc. You may find that she never asks you why you don't contact her anymore and you won't need to send that email afterall.

sj1600 said:

I don't even want her to come, she's going to act like such a spoiled brat, and she thinks my friends are not her type. I can only hope that she decides she doesn't want to come on her own, and then again I also invited some of our mutual friends, who are so much nicer than her and the last thing I would want is for her to encourage them to boycott my party.