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Forums > General Discussion > hey u guys and gals, working on a film, still...............lol, does this sentence make sense?
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Thread started 04/13/08 9:24am

missmad

hey u guys and gals, working on a film, still...............lol, does this sentence make sense?

" If the erosion of one’s thoughts, one feelings, one’s rights exist, then what can one say about freedom? “
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Reply #1 posted 04/13/08 9:27am

Sweeny79

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It's wordy and kinda blah....but it makes sense.
In spite of the cost of living, it's still popular.
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Reply #2 posted 04/13/08 9:34am

missmad

Sweeny79 said:

It's wordy and kinda blah....but it makes sense.




wordy and kinda blah, what does that mean?
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Reply #3 posted 04/13/08 9:41am

Dauphin

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" If the erosion of one’s thoughts, one feelings, one’s rights exist, then what can one say about freedom? “

Do you want it to have more dramatic punch?

"If the erosion of one's thoughts...one's feelings...hell, even the erosion of one's RIGHTS exist, then what can be said about one's FREEDOM?"


Hopefully there's more to put that statement in context. smile
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Still it's nice to know, when our bodies wear out, we can get another

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Reply #4 posted 04/13/08 9:49am

missmad

Dauphin said:

" If the erosion of one’s thoughts, one feelings, one’s rights exist, then what can one say about freedom? “

Do you want it to have more dramatic punch?

"If the erosion of one's thoughts...one's feelings...hell, even the erosion of one's RIGHTS exist, then what can be said about one's FREEDOM?"


Hopefully there's more to put that statement in context. smile



thanks honey, there is another sentence 2 go along with that yes, the story is that a journalist has been arrested for writing a negative article about a nation, and the government has allowed her 2 make a statement, that is part of the statement.

make sense, lol.
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Reply #5 posted 04/13/08 10:03am

MuthaFunka

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It is kinda wordy. I'd roll with this:

If the erosion of one’s thoughts, feelings, and rights exist...then what can one say about freedom?

More succinct; works better IMO.
nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher

MuthaFunka - Black...by popular demand
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Reply #6 posted 04/13/08 11:50am

missmad

MuthaFunka said:

It is kinda wordy. I'd roll with this:

If the erosion of one’s thoughts, feelings, and rights exist...then what can one say about freedom?

More succinct; works better IMO.



thanks honey, am uploading the film atm, really do not remember what i wrote, lol
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Reply #7 posted 04/13/08 12:27pm

MuthaFunka

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missmad said:

MuthaFunka said:

It is kinda wordy. I'd roll with this:

If the erosion of one’s thoughts, feelings, and rights exist...then what can one say about freedom?

More succinct; works better IMO.



thanks honey, am uploading the film atm, really do not remember what i wrote, lol


No problemo! thumbs up!
nWo: bboy87 - Timmy84 - LittleBlueCorvette - MuthaFunka - phunkdaddy - Christopher

MuthaFunka - Black...by popular demand
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Reply #8 posted 04/13/08 12:44pm

missmad

MuthaFunka said:

missmad said:




thanks honey, am uploading the film atm, really do not remember what i wrote, lol


No problemo! thumbs up!


FREEDOM1 is the title
smile

movie has been uploaded, what do u think. www.youtube,com/mihadali2

the time is 1.59. not the other freedom video.
[Edited 4/13/08 19:05pm]
[Edited 4/23/08 3:25am]
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