CarrieMpls said:

Fine, fine, have it your way. Burger King it is.

JerseyKRS said:

Volitan, khakis and a polo sounds great...when you go more casual,
you feel more casual...and there are very nice restaurants you can
go to without breaking your bank account and without it seeming like
you're overdoing it on the first date.

I find it refreshing that you want to pay the tab...it sounds like
you want to "do it up right" from the very beginning. You must already
think a lot of this girl. In many ways it's nice that you already
know her a bit. But remember, if you pay the way the first time, it
will always be expected of you. Then don't ever ask her to go Dutch,
unless she offers, of course.

Just keep in mind however, that when you start dating a friend of an
ex, it either goes very well, or it's a complete bust. This gal may
know too many gritty details about your ex's relationship with you,
and if she truly falls for you, she may not be able to shake those
images. More power to her however if she doesn't care about your past.
Then in my book, anyway, she'd be the one...no ones past should have
anything to do with the present.

My most important advice (since you're asking, of course) is that you
shouldn't expect too much from the date, and then you won't be so
disappointed if things go wrong. I know, it's much easier said than done.

But I'll send you my "good vibs" in the meantime and have a wonderful
time....just don't approach her sexually for several dates. Just
enjoy her company and getting to know her.

And now I'm thinking this is way too much advice.....

Slave2daGroove said:

Well, on a regular sunday, I'd just hit a fast food joint. I don't wanna do that...or do I?

obsessed said:

Im not paying because I think more of her, I just thought it was common sense.

Volitan said:

apparently using coupons on the first date isn't cool

Volitan said:

No, don't do that, not a good first impression.

I guess my point was find something in between really nice and fast food. Save the really nice place after you know how it's going to go.

Maybe some kind of unique restaurant that may or may not be expensive but makes food you can only get there. Maybe even a brunch type thing so a little walk afterward for time to talk one on one.

So um.....

Slave2daGroove said:

If you go for something fancy for a first date then you are setting the level for what will always be expected.

By starting off too high, when you revert to the norm it will be blatant that you were deliberately making an effort to get more from the off with no intention of continuing the effort!

Typical male mentality!!!


My advice would be to go somewhere that YOU like that you honestly believe that SHE may like to go to as well!!!

That way her first impression will be something that is true to you, and if she enjoys herself as well, then you can be sure that there is some kind of compatibility between you, and it will then be easier to instigate the next date!

The next date should be based around what SHE finds intersting which you should know because you researched this with clever questions and conversation on the first date!!!!!

It's not the same chick that you had a childhood crush on right?

Listen to the words that are coming out of my mouth (OK, read them):

DON'T REFUSE A BLOWJOB. If she offers, you accept. Period.

AlexdeParis said:

CalhounSq said:

nose hair! trim those babies. do it

PEJ said:

NO.

Anyway, there's a place around here that's kinda like a Waffle House (but better food, not-so-truckstop atmosphere)....would this be a good place? It's not a totally redneck/trucker thing like Waffle House, it's a little nice, and more fun. Not suit and tie, but not totally McDonalds's fast food either.....

AlexdeParis said:

From this girl, I probably would. I seem to get a lot of flak for my anti-blowjob statement, but what I meant by it was, I was in love with the girl who was giving, as in, I wanted her to possibly to be the mother of my children, etc, and I didn't want to think of her as "a chick who sucked me off". Plus, she was kinda innocent "girl-next-door," type and it just wasn't her.
[Edited 4/12/08 2:10am]

Volitan said:

But if she was willing to do it, it was her. I could be wrong, but it appears you have some kind of hang-up about head. There's nothing gross or demeaning about it. To borrow a line from someone famous, "not everybody does it, but everybody should."

As for where you should eat, I echo the sentiment that you can't set the bar too high. A local restaurant along the same lines as something like Ruby Tuesday would be my vote.

Volitan said:

I can not believe that some people, especially young people have such sexual hang ups, are afraid of sexuality.

So weird.

Volitan said:

WOW... so you want some virginal type who barely wants to fuck at all. You marry her, make her the mother of your children. Meanwhile you're growing up, actually learning some things about the world & women & you'll realize the act of giving head to someone you're dating isn't shameful or slutty - she was trying to please you, which is what any good lover would do... Then down the line, once you have the virginal wife who wouldn't dare put your dick anywhere NEAR her mouth, you'll finally get sense enough to want to experiment a bit & have that intimacy w/ someone. Then you'll turn to cheating, or maybe just whores - either way you'll hate yourself & live a life of torture... look @ the mess your life is gonna become!!!

I guess your restrictive attitude is better than shoving your cock into every chick's face, but damn - you really should be dating librarians or Sunday school teachers... I just can't figure out why you judge that act SO harshly. It's not like she lined up a group of guys & sucked them off one by one - she'd slept with you already, what the hell? What's your opinion of men who go down on women??


.
[Edited 4/12/08 12:37pm]

CalhounSq said:

Again, I can't really explain it. It just had some kind of thing attached to it, that I didn't like....I don't know. Plus her sleeping with me is different. That's a full-on intimate connection, not just her sucking me off.....I can't explain it. Maybe if the oppotuinity presented itself again, I wouldn't have a problem with it. I guess it just didn't seem very romantic, and I'm more of a romantic "let's make love" guy than a "let me bend you over and fuck you like a whore" type of guy.....

Guys going down on women, I love doing that. But that was more of a foreplay thing than me just doing it.....

Volitan said:

you can do both, with the same girl. i agree with what calhoun said...you viewing it as 'only something sluts do' will be damaging to you in the long run.

evenstar said:

And here I thought it was only chicks that had sexual hang ups.

evenstar said:

I did do both. I'm just saying, at that time/moment, a BJ just didn't seem right

So did you get some or what?

Volitan said:

but what wasn't right about it?

evenstar said:

I don't know



Tommorrow nite I'm taking her to a resturaunt. it's like a notch below Applebee's (classwise) if that means anything

Volitan said:

Well if the food is like a notch below Applebees (), then better luck next time!

But the level of class ought to be alright. Unless she's uppity.
[Edited 4/13/08 0:44am]

Raze said:

I'm still kinda nervous.....I've never taken a girl on a "courting" type date. My last girlfriend made all the moves. I'm too shy, so I'm kinda worried about what to do next if it goes well. Like say everytihng is going well, when will I know when to kiss her, when to start the sexual stuff, blah, blah, that kind of thing. i'm also wondering what conversational topics/comments are off limits, or which ones to bring up. This dating thing is just bizarre

[Edited 4/13/08 0:58am]

Volitan said:

I've only been on a few dates like that myself (with men), many moons ago, and they were miserable failures (plus the people I dated were not my type and/or scumbags ). Nothing... and I mean absolutely NOTHING came of them (except being out $400 when I lent one of them money for rent).

I actually can't imagine meeting a serious sig. other that way anymore. When I did meet him, it was just kind of like the stars were aligned and a series of events fell into place.

Raze said:

Who knows what'll happen?? I'm glad I've hung out with her before because I know what she's like and some of her interests, so I guess these'll be good topics of discussion (she wants to go into medicine). I'm trying to keep my mind off of the date though. I'm afraid I'll fuck it up by over thinking it...and I don't wanna fuck it up. This girl is a 10.....I just pray my ex doesn't come up. They're pretty good friends, so I suppose she's bound to come up somewhere along the line..

Volitan said:

How did it come about that you're dating a "good friend" of your ex? & why did you & the ex break up? How long ago?

Just curious...