Well, back in the day Mon would just kick off like the Hulk and I'd end up bracing myself against hurled clothes hangers, trying to get out of the room, laughing sometimes (which of course only made things worse) and occasionally walking out of the house and down the street a fair way.

That got boring after a while so I started getting involved, pinning her down, that kinda thing, but it was even more perilous for me. After a while it got boring for us both and Mon settled down a bit, or rather her spirit was thoroughly destroyed by how mundane life is with me as her husband, so nowadays our arguments involve a short, relatively controlled verbal argument typically lasting about 3 minutes, followed by a tangible atmosphere of silent mutual resentment lasting roughly 1-2 hours.

After this point we miss physical contact with each other and out of pathetic mutual need end up cuddling in front of the TV watching 'The Dog Whisperer' or some shit, still both secretly storing up resentment for the next time we threaten each other with divorce.

...sorry I can even visualize this