April showers may bring May flowers and the blooming promise of romance, but -- astrologically speaking -- this month is almost too hot to handle! Pluto goes retrograde in Capricorn on April 2, focusing your attention on transformation. Mercury enters Aries on April 2, beginning a period of enthusiasm and creativity. Then, lovely Venus follows Mercury into the fiery planet's influence on April 5 -- signaling a time of gallant chivalry and romance. A new Moon follows the first two planet's lead the very same day, bearing new beginnings. Seize onto this dynamic energy -- the month is just starting!

Sun Squares Jupiter on April 10, followed by a sextile to Neptune on April 13, when enthusiasm needs to be tempered with practicality. Also on April 10, Mercury forms a T-square with Mars, followed by a square to Jupiter on April 13. These are passionate transits, so think carefully before you speak!

Things calm down the following week with Mercury entering Taurus and the Sun transiting into the same sign on April 19. A full Moon in Scorpio brings forth intense emotions. However, strength and passion are rewarded now, due the harmonious aspects of the Sun and Moon to Saturn. Embrace them both!

The show is still not over when Venus squares Mars on April 23 -- depending on your birth chart, things might either spice up or there will be trouble. When explosions follow Mars moving opposite Jupiter on April 24, you may feel that you drank a glass of rocket fuel. You will be treading water when Mars moves quincunx to nebulous Neptune on April 28. The month closes on steadier ground, as Venus moves into Taurus on April 30.

It's raining!!!!!

All I know is that I'm gonna get some soon

penis

horatio said:

RAZORBLADE PENIS!