New topic
Printable| Author | Message |
Choose: Babydaddys time or his $$$$? Would You Want the "BabyDaddy's" Time or His Money?
Which would you choose and why. I listened to a radio show the other morning that touched on this topic--the host was asking women what they would prefer from the noncustodial fathers on their children. I had an appointment so I had to leave my car and I missed the program. So I wondered what you folks here on the org think is better...you know...if you had to choose one or the other. (And for you "babydaddy's" out there, please...give up your thoughts too.) Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. | |
- E-mail - orgNote -  Report post to moderator |
I will always choose for the children to know and spend time with their loving father, that bond is very important to me, every child needs both parents.
BUT..... If the man is abusive or he has no desire to know his children, only comes around to get sex from the babymomma, then just fork over the cash as a consolation for your children having to go it alone without proper love and support from their daddy.... may the state rape your wallet hard. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
One of the things that I did hear someone say on the radio was that many women believe that the fathers feel like if they pay the check they are doing what they need to do...its all good. you know...he's providing for their basic needs so that child has a father... [Edited 3/30/08 23:26pm] Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
StillGotIt said: One of the things that I did hear was that many women believe that the fathers feel like if they pay the check they are doing what they need to do...its all good. you know...he's providing for their basic needs so that child has a father...
Wrong. The mother almost always has to work to provide too, plus BE THERE for the kids when they are sick, up all night vomiting, take them on field trips, help with homework, etc. Why do some "dads" get to just send a check and be done with it? That doesn't define a mother. Why should it define being a father? "Let love be your perfect weapon..." ~~Andy Biersack | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
TIME becuz mama aint gonna spend the money right..she gonna spend it on her and not the kids | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
mirrorbestfriend said: TIME becuz mama aint gonna spend the money right..she gonna spend it on her and not the kids
This momma spends the money on the kids, and the things they need only. Oh, and many years I had no support coming in from babydaddy, just made due, and didn't go after the back pay either. So dad should thank his God everyday for that. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
mirrorbestfriend said: TIME becuz mama aint gonna spend the money right..she gonna spend it on her and not the kids
...what makes you say that? you got me thinking of a crack head babymomma..... [Edited 3/30/08 23:26pm] Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
StillGotIt said: One of the things that I did hear someone say on the radio was that many women believe that the fathers feel like if they pay the check they are doing what they need to do...its all good. you know...he's providing for their basic needs so that child has a father...
[Edited 3/30/08 23:26pm] I don't think they feel that way. I think they know that's the most they can expect from them. So that's why they harp on the subject. You can't get a court order to force a deadbeat dad to be a good father. You can only force them to pay. It is the fathers that who only send child support who feel they do "enough" for their kids.And the really pathetic thing is these bums who accuse the moms of spending their money. It never occurs to them that now that the courts are making them finally contribute to the cost of raising a child, that this frees mom's income from being 100% sunk into child maintenance, health, daycare etc. Ugh it's too early in the morning to go on about this but I pay $900.00 a month in daycare ALONE. And I have this co-worker who is crying the blues because his babymama is making him pay $700.00 in child support. .. in exchange for his child support, he gets a 24 hour a day, nurse, teacher, chauffuer, butler, chef, maid, and playmate for his child. AND HE gets to go where he wants, WHEN he wants, never has to worry about where his kid is, HIS place is crumb and junk-free... AND he gets to sleep when he wants to sleep. He could never pay enough if you ask me. Oh I forgot you were asking me to choose: I choose a good father who gives his time to his child... AND his money just like I do. When it comes to kids time and money are the main sacrifices you make. [Edited 3/31/08 2:49am] | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
noimageatall said: StillGotIt said: One of the things that I did hear was that many women believe that the fathers feel like if they pay the check they are doing what they need to do...its all good. you know...he's providing for their basic needs so that child has a father...
Wrong. The mother almost always has to work to provide too, plus BE THERE for the kids when they are sick, up all night vomiting, take them on field trips, help with homework, etc. Why do some "dads" get to just send a check and be done with it? That doesn't define a mother. Why should it define being a father? Some fathers are not maternal, if you know what I mean. I know of some that don't want to spend any time with their children, which is a shame, but what can you do? 
I don't think you can 100% compare mothers and fathers. They are similar roles, but not identical. Speaking as a father, I can never compete with the mother, she got right in there from the start and started bonding and stuff. I would've breast fed if I could've! 
But, yes, vomit/field trips/etc can and should be shared. (note: I always get the vomit!) | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Time. He can keep his money. I don't need or want it. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
Ugh. 
Time. Because of my son's father's behaviour and pathetic track record in terms of both time and c/s payments, I've wanted to tell him to fuck off and die, but I never do because even though he's like 10% of what most fathers are my son loves him. Until he puts my son in any real kind of risk, I'll never keep them apart. So I pick time over money. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
paintedlady said: mirrorbestfriend said: TIME becuz mama aint gonna spend the money right..she gonna spend it on her and not the kids
This momma spends the money on the kids, and the things they need only. Oh, and many years I had no support coming in from babydaddy, just made due, and didn't go after the back pay either. So dad should thank his God everyday for that. Like the pitiful amount many men pay in child support can get you much of anything anyway. It barely covers anything in terms of the real costs of taking care of a child. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
JustErin said: paintedlady said: This momma spends the money on the kids, and the things they need only. Oh, and many years I had no support coming in from babydaddy, just made due, and didn't go after the back pay either. So dad should thank his God everyday for that. Like the pitiful amount many men pay in child support can get you much of anything anyway. It barely covers anything in terms of the real costs of taking care of a child. and let them have to pay anything over a hundred bucks a week and they turn into "BMW's" (bitchy, moaning and whiny)! | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
alwayslate said: StillGotIt said: One of the things that I did hear someone say on the radio was that many women believe that the fathers feel like if they pay the check they are doing what they need to do...its all good. you know...he's providing for their basic needs so that child has a father...
[Edited 3/30/08 23:26pm] I don't think they feel that way. I think they know that's the most they can expect from them. So that's why they harp on the subject. You can't get a court order to force a deadbeat dad to be a good father. You can only force them to pay. It is the fathers that who only send child support who feel they do "enough" for their kids.And the really pathetic thing is these bums who accuse the moms of spending their money. It never occurs to them that now that the courts are making them finally contribute to the cost of raising a child, that this frees mom's income from being 100% sunk into child maintenance, health, daycare etc. Ugh it's too early in the morning to go on about this but I pay $900.00 a month in daycare ALONE. And I have this co-worker who is crying the blues because his babymama is making him pay $700.00 in child support. .. in exchange for his child support, he gets a 24 hour a day, nurse, teacher, chauffuer, butler, chef, maid, and playmate for his child. AND HE gets to go where he wants, WHEN he wants, never has to worry about where his kid is, HIS place is crumb and junk-free... AND he gets to sleep when he wants to sleep. He could never pay enough if you ask me. Oh I forgot you were asking me to choose: I choose a good father who gives his time to his child... AND his money just like I do. When it comes to kids time and money are the main sacrifices you make. [Edited 3/31/08 2:49am]  | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |
heybaby said: alwayslate said: I don't think they feel that way. I think they know that's the most they can expect from them. So that's why they harp on the subject. You can't get a court order to force a deadbeat dad to be a good father. You can only force them to pay. It is the fathers that who only send child support who feel they do "enough" for their kids.And the really pathetic thing is these bums who accuse the moms of spending their money. It never occurs to them that now that the courts are making them finally contribute to the cost of raising a child, that this frees mom's income from being 100% sunk into child maintenance, health, daycare etc. Ugh it's too early in the morning to go on about this but I pay $900.00 a month in daycare ALONE. And I have this co-worker who is crying the blues because his babymama is making him pay $700.00 in child support. .. in exchange for his child support, he gets a 24 hour a day, nurse, teacher, chauffuer, butler, chef, maid, and playmate for his child. AND HE gets to go where he wants, WHEN he wants, never has to worry about where his kid is, HIS place is crumb and junk-free... AND he gets to sleep when he wants to sleep. He could never pay enough if you ask me. Oh I forgot you were asking me to choose: I choose a good father who gives his time to his child... AND his money just like I do. When it comes to kids time and money are the main sacrifices you make. [Edited 3/31/08 2:49am] Holy shit, how did I miss this post? indeed. | |
| - E-mail - orgNote - Report post to moderator |