I am not the greatest cook that ever lived. I've never made anyone sick either. I have my specialties which always turn out great and, of course, the thorns in my side which always turn out badly no matter what the hell I do.

A thorn in my side: Fried gotttdamned chicken.

It is always too salty or completely bland no matter what I put on it; no matter which parts of the effin' bird I use, no matter what kinda pan I use. Sunofabitch!
Can someone please please please please give me a fried chicken recipe that will work even for me?!?!?!??!?!

This is starting to make me have some self esteem issues. I know people that I have watched put nothing more than salt-pepper-flour on their shit and it tastes like Jesus himself fried it.
Why can't I make good fried chicken???

Jesus said:

DanceWme said:

DanceWme said:

aw shit. He cursed me.
[Edited 3/29/08 14:22pm]

alwayslate said:

I cant cook good fried chicken either.
It seems so simple to season it and then put flour on it.

DanceWme said:

SHIT!!!

DanceWme said:

That's jacked up!

alwayslate said:

Good Fried Chicken Recipe

What you'll need:

Cash

Steps:

1. Buy some good ass fried chicken

2. Serve.



Hope that helps.

It's not just a recipe; you need some good oil and a frying pan/dutch oven/deep fryer big enough to fry your chicken in. I noticed that when I fry extra large chicken breasts, the outside is fried to a crisp and is burnt in places while parts of the inside is still raw.

At any rate, the best recipe I found involves buttermilk. Take your chicken pieces, put them into a pan (glass preferably, but any pan whether it's metal or even plastic) and cover them with buttermilk. Cover the pan with a lid or plastic wrap and put it in the refrigerator and let it marinate for at least a couple of hours (preferably all day or overnight).

Before you are ready to coat the chicken, fill a large frying pan or dutch oven with plenty of cooking oil, place it on your stove and set it on medium heat for about 10 to 15 minutes depending on your pan. Fill a bowl with flour and mix in some seasoning salt (if no seasoning salt, then some celery salt; if none then some sea salt), some pepper, some poultry seasoning (rosemary, thyme, sage, parsley - optional), some coriander (optional), some garlic powder, and some paprika (optional - if none then just add more pepper). About a minute before you are ready to fry the chicken, take the pan of marinated buttermilk chicken out of the fridge and coat the chicken generously with the flour mixture. Shake off the excess flour and put the chicken into the hot oil. Do this with each piece until the pan is full but not overstuffed. (You need to have each piece get enough hot oil to fry around it.) Fry until each piece is golden brown; in the case of the smaller pieces, they will begin to actually float to the surface; then place the pieces on a paper towel to cool down and drain excess oil.

BTW, for the larger chicken breasts, you make want to poke holes on the underside of the breast before frying so that the raw juices will escape faster during frying, thereby cooking the breast faster.

::::never makes fried chicken::::

Could you go into more detail of what you are doing right now? What are you dipping your meat into etc....

MoniGram said:

(re-checks thread topic.....)

mcmeekle said:

Wow! That did sound a touch dirty!

mcmeekle said:

That's what i'm sayin'!

DanceWme said:

omfg

MoniGram said:

moni

you are the "she" in "that's what she said" jokes

InsatiableCream said:

DanceWme said:

728huey said:

I'm vegetarian but this is very close to the way I cook it for teens at the runaway shelter where I work. It disappears in minutes! I put the buttermilk in a couple of large ziploc bags and add a couple shakes of hot sauce then add the chicken and seal. That way, it can be turned every couple of hours to marinade well. Serve it with homemade biscuits/honey and mashed potatoes/gravy.

MoniGram said:

that was funny.

this could possibly be the.....



BEST

THREAD TITLE

EVER!!!!!

mcmeekle said:

Yeah...all of a suddent his thread is NSFW!!!!

PurpleJedi said:

Here's how I fry my chicken:

Combine one egg, milk and hot sauce to dredge the chicken in.

Season with garlic powder, pepper and seasoning salt.

Coat with flour, dredge in egg mixture and coat in flour a second time.

Fry in hot oil. When one side is browned and crispy, turn over and season again with a little garlic salt and a little more seasoning salt. Be very careful here. Too much and it will be too salty.

Everyone loves my chicken, but it is a pain in the ass to make. One of my most hated meals to make. I do make it whenever my husband is mad at me though. Corn bread, greens, fried chicken, mac and cheese and potato salad makes him forget all his troubles.