I think some of this is being over simplified. Sometimes people need the 2 incomes and it isn't because of all the stuff they are buying.....

I think some of this is being over simplified. Sometimes people need the 2 incomes and it isn't because of all the stuff they are buying.....

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I dont think managing a family is simple on any level

With the cost of living, gas and food it takes two incomes. Both of my parents worked however they did it in shifts. My Dad had his dental practice in the daytime, my Mother was at home asleep while we were at school. Came home to a home-cooked meal and a Mom to help with homework and Dad would follow home around 6.oo pm. mom worked as a nurse from 11pm-7am. We were never unsupervised at all, don't forget the Grandparents and Great-grandparents were around too for support in the same house or on the same block.

Back in the day you really ddi have a village and structure unlike now. Men don't want to be Fathers, Mothers forced to work one even two jobs. it is rough. i don't regret being childless. Alot of women say that the husband don't help anyway and it is like having two children.

Personally i think kids need and male and female to see balance, teamwork and compromise.

Oh and for the 2nd part. Yes I could and would scale back to stay at home. I have always been a very simple person anyway so that would be a breeze!!!!

rachel3 said:

Same thing. When my Mom did start working, it was at the mall in the evening, and Dad was home. My Mom's parents lived next door.

My parents raised a family of 4 kids in the 60's and 70's and they both had full-time jobs, and my Mom even took in sewing! We had our grandmother living with us, she cleaned and cooked and did all the nurturing type stuff, it seemed to work fine for my family then. Now my husband and I both work full-time jobs, and my husband works saturday mornings as well.
The big difference in our life now is, we send 3 kids to private school, and there is no way on god's green earth to pull that off with only one income. The cleaning is done in the morning, and I have a very flexible schedule so that I can taxi around 3 girls, and my aunt helps out when I just can not pick up the girls from school.

rachel3 said:

Excellent Post!

Would you scale back your lifestyle to attain that goal. I mean, if you (and I present this to the entire group here) could scale back your spending and living arrangement for the sake of one of you staying home...would you do it? Could any of you do it?

Could I do it? Probably, yes I have lived on a whole lot less than we do now.

Will I do it? No, because i don't think it is as simple as that or the right thing to do.

My wife and I have talked about it often and we are due another re-assesment too

Both of us have jobs we are very passionate about but that does not mean we are not passioante about our sons well being also. I don't really think that we HAVE a choice becasue the alternative would be worse for all of us. If I stayed at home I would go crazy in a month, my wife in perhaps a fortnight. So should we have delayed starting a family - no, becasue we have a very bright, happy and well adjusted son. We compramised in other areas and that flexibilty has worked out so far.

I don't think that this is a black and white situation and that is why I asked why you (dex - and others) believe that there is a current problem. If there is a problem is it localised or across society as a whole?

PREDOMINANT said:

Predominant, you are doing a great job and from this perspective you represent here it seems you are a very well adjusted and involved parent!

It is a problem when we feed into the reasons we are sacrificing successful family structures for the sake of money. On the flip side, it is an ever churning machine called consumerism that drives this country to force us into believing two incomes are a must.

Now, what about single income families that are making it? It can be done and it doesn't have to be the way it is dictated to you.