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Let's write some tankas! A tanka is a Japanese verse form of 31 syllables in five unrhymed lines, the first and third having five syllables each, and the others seven
Here's mine I worked really hard on this counting syllables and shit: I like the blue sky But the clouds get in the way I hate the wet grass It causes my leg to itch So I will sit on the porch Your turn!  Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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im only good @ writing Haikus .. 5-7-5 | |
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LiquidGold said: I like the blue sky
But the clouds get in the way I hate the wet grass It causes my leg to itch So I will sit on the porch Ain't that a Bjork song?  | |
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Gonna do my best
trying to write a tanka Will you please forgive? cause it's my first time ever and it will probably stink It's over before it started  | |
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PANDURITO said: LiquidGold said: I like the blue sky
But the clouds get in the way I hate the wet grass It causes my leg to itch So I will sit on the porch Ain't that a Bjork song?  Could beUnder certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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Damn! Nobody else wants to try this challenge??? Geez Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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oops there it is now
I can't hold it back no more I have to hold you pressure on my bleeding heart it's why I don't show tears | |
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standing here in mind
sitting slouched and broken in body disconnect the phone after one little sound drives both outside the walls This was fun. | |
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old friends they fade away
the tree although strong will to die do either know the way fond memories need to be cared for remembering insures us together life is perfect ... aka crazyhorse | |
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tonight it is me
and you in a steaming tub let me rub your back I want to sink together In a midnight full of us | |
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I will tap your ass,
after you cook me something, whatever you want, I will love it completely, For desert, blow job?  | |
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Coke is the shit, yo!
Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Coke is the shit, yo! Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Thank yew  ... | |
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Byron said: Coke is the shit, yo!
Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Coke is the shit, yo! Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Thank yew ...
 HE'S COMING AGAIN | |
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Imago said: I will tap your ass,
after you cook me something, whatever you want, I will love it completely, For desert, blow job? 5-7-5-7-7  | |
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wHiTEgIRlCrAzY said: old friends they fade away
the tree although strong will to die do either know the way fond memories need to be cared for remembering insures us together life is perfect ... Count you, I say, count your syllables, son. Syllables, that is... | |
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Protege said: Byron said: Coke is the shit, yo!
Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Coke is the shit, yo! Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Pepsi sucks ass, fo shizzle Thank yew ...
I have many hidden talents  .. | |
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You done fucked up now
You thought you could do better You dumb smug bastard Your head is so fucking huge Time to deflate it Shake it til ya make it  | |
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My lips touch your skin
My fingers stroke you softly Your moans fill my ears Your body says you love me Souls connect when I'm in you | |
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I saw your heartbeat
I laughed when you kicked my hand Prayed daily for health Cried when you first met my eyes And I still thank God for you | |
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no tanka for me then [Edited 3/25/08 19:40pm] | |
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baroque said: the magnitude of desire
heat waves admit a neon crimson aura fixation on a familiar face my face shows a evident weakness this chemical of attraction, slowly consuming me. she said.. the 1st n 3rd lines.. have to have 5 syllables | |
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Flowerz said: baroque said: the magnitude of desire
heat waves admit a neon crimson aura fixation on a familiar face my face shows a evident weakness this chemical of attraction, slowly consuming me. she said.. the 1st n 3rd lines.. have to have 5 syllables too hard. | |
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the moon shone through night
without a doubt it was clear staring at its bliss a beautiful countenance gracing us in the night sky | |
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This chick stole my food
So I bopped her on the head She ran to the cops I ran behind the bushes She won't bother me no mo | |
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Runza said: standing here in mind
sitting slouched and broken in body disconnect the phone after one little sound drives both outside the walls This was fun. Wrong amount of syllables Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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One4All4Ever said: oops there it is now
I can't hold it back no more I have to hold you pressure on my bleeding heart it's why I don't show tears Very good. Get rid of one of those conjunctions and it will be perfect! Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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One4All4Ever said: tonight it is me
and you in a steaming tub let me rub your back I want to sink together In a midnight full of us Oooh. I like Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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Everybody made some really good ones Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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LiquidGold said: One4All4Ever said: oops there it is now
I can't hold it back no more I have to hold you pressure on my bleeding heart it's why I don't show tears Very good. Get rid of one of those conjunctions and it will be perfect! oops there it is now I can not find the right words I have to hold you pressure on my bleeding heart alone I cry in silence better ?? I think so ... | |
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One4All4Ever said: LiquidGold said: Very good. Get rid of one of those conjunctions and it will be perfect! oops there it is now I can not find the right words I have to hold you pressure on my bleeding heart alone I cry in silence better ?? I think so ... Oh yeah, that's good. I meant put either "it is" or "do not" so you would have the right amount of syllables, but your change was better  Under certain circumstances, urgent circumstances, desperate circumstances, profanity provides a relief denied even to prayer. | |
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