Hi all ...I have something I'd really like your truthful opinion on please...

To cut a long story short I'm about to do something I feel terrible about... I've been extremely mixed up about my future and have told my best friend and her family that I'll move in with them temporarily where I grew up, however I have changed my mind and very much want to go to the Gold Coast where I've wanted to live since I was 5 years old. I've told various people different things as to where I'm going to go, too

She, and her man and kids, is going to be so upset and angry with me

Am I doing the wrong thing?

luv, you need to do what you feel is right for you
and if she and her family are that close with you, and if she is your best friend, they'll understand your decision..
and it may not happen right away, but the understanding will come.

i hope that helps...

sammij said:

thanks hon I know... you're right. I just hope I'm doing the right thing

you just need to make a decision - NOT what other people think is best for you, or because of obligation - what YOU want/need, and once you made it for sure, THEN tell people
Speaking from experience, as my sister is one to keep making announcements about things she changes her mind about and never does, like getting married for example, it's kind of flaky behaviour.

Do they have cable?

ZombieKitten said:

I know... thank you for your honesty.

Imago said:

lol yes they do

Natisse said:

ok, well that's a start.

You should factor every thing to the equation except how they're going to feel about it.

If they are willing to extend such a gesture to you, then they're willing to understand your decision, even if disappointed.


But if they have cable t.v. you need to consider staying with them.

Natisse said:

I know my advice isn't terribly helpful in this particular instance though only generally. Hopefully since she is your bestie, if you let her know you are going to follow your lifelong dream, she will understand.

Imago said:

Natisse said:

you better tell him foxtel is crap

ZombieKitten said:

oh I know she will... we'll both be dissappointed though since half of me DOES really want to stay with them on the coast

and you did help, thank you

Not to sound corny but follow your heart. You have to make the decision that gives you the most peace and have faith that you are doing the right thing. Weigh out the pros & the cons of the situation and go with that. I know you will make the right decision.

ZombieKitten said:

lol true!! totally crap unless you have the whole shebang which costs a fortune!

purplecam said:

you're right of course. I think I know what to do but am just dreading telling them

Natisse said:

you will be visiting each other though, and who knows in the future you might still live with them.

ZombieKitten said:

true... we've lived together before and will again I'm sure. I've just messed them around, in a way, with my indecision and then changing my mind. she knows what I've been like the last year though so she understands, luckily, and puts up with my crap

Natisse said:

That's natural and I totally understand it but sooner or later it's going to have to be discussed. I think it's been said before, you have to do what will make you happy but also what's going to be beneficial for your life. I would hope that they would understand that you need to do what you have to do.

One thing that I have found to be VERY helpful though is to be near friends.

You should really look at what relationships you have nearby as well as at the Gold coast and factor that in.

Car break down? Had a bad day? Need someone to pick you up at the Doctors? It may be easier to do all these things if you're already living with friends that love you.

And the Gold coast isn't going anymore. So it's not something you need to jump at right away I don't think. In my opinion, if they've extended the invite and are sincere, it could really be a great experience for you. I know I should have jumped at the opportunity for help a few times in my life, and I've regretted it.

purplecam said:

true. they will be angry with me but in the end will have to understand, and they will I know.

Imago said:

all good points

Imago said:

Thanks Dan, you make some good points

Natisse said:

If the opportunity is there for you to do the thing you've wanted to do since you were a kid, living in the Gold Coast I believe, then run with it cause you have no idea if and when the opportunity will ever come back to you be it that everything is in the right place for you to do it at this time. Just my opinion of course.

Imago said:

Great points
[Edited 3/24/08 21:51pm]

thanks guys... lots more food for thought. it's good to get unbiased opinions.

thanks again

Well, if they have cable T.V., you know my answer.

Imago said:

fair enough

we'll see where I am this time next week

Imago said:

Why is your avatar of CarrieMpls 's head on a lawn chair?

raveun2thejoyfantastic said:

Do what makes you happy Nat. Plans do change. Fulfill your dream.