Not the happiest thread topic but I am sure it comes to everyone, and I am curious. How do you deal with it? Denial? Over-compensating with others? I dont know!

I have been feeling very left out recently, and it makes me do things that I dont want to do, or that are destructive and spoil everything else...

I feel it right now, so before I say "Fuck it" and put eyeliner on and go to the club where all my friends and my ex are, and behave destructively along with them, can anyone give me an insight into how to cope with this?!

Just curious!

Thankyou all

I call my mom and she helps me snap out of it a little bit.

I do something that I like that's just for me like getting my hair or nails done or renting a movie that no one else would want to see but me, get a really yummy take away dish, etc.

If I'm really tripping out over it then I take some time and meditate. I just find myself a cushion, sit on the floor cross legged with my bum on the cushion and my legs on the floor, have my eyes half closed, and just breathe for about five or ten minutes. I don't focus on any concrete thoughts, I just breathe and let things be. It calms me down and makes me feel better.







I also put something in my signature about it, too
[Edited 3/23/08 15:23pm]

JasmineFire said:

I like the sound of the last point, meditating, which is something I've always wanted to try properly. Problem is now I have been doing something for myself, I've been drinking Baileys for myself!! And so I just don't think meditating will work right now...

The other points, thats what I have always done really, but even though it feels good I tend to be doing it on my own so it sometimes magnifies the problem...

Thanks

I don't think I do deal with it, I tend to withdraw even more in that situation, to the point of avoidance.

I always try to find other ways of occupying myself; try out new hobbies to keep you fretting about peeps that don't deserve it.

ZombieKitten said:

Thats what I do I spent most of my teenage years in a fantasy world I created for myself because I couldnt deal with the real world leaving me out

But I don't like to do it now because I know its not healthy, and I want real world friends. But I wonder, do they exist? I am too cynical to believe sometimes....people always mess you about.

lol

HamsterHuey said:

Good ideas and good perception

susannah said:

me too!!! I started to draw, it took up all my time so I didn't need friends. To this day I only have as many RL friends as I can count on one hand.

ZombieKitten said:

me, too. I wish I could be more natural in the real world.

ZombieKitten said:

You gotta love that imagination!

I think that is only as many friends as you can expect though I mean only as many true friends as you can expect... I guess right now I only have maybe 3... and as luck would have it they're not all in my area!

susannah said:

me too my better friends live quite a drive away, like HOURS.

JasmineFire said:

Do you guys have siblings? Cause I always kinda thought that my social skills or lack thereof came from being alone a lot as a child....

Just a theory. I typed a whole lot of stuff there and realised it was rubbish and deleted it lol

ZombieKitten said:

and the rest!

How do you deal with feeling left out?

Accept that it's their loss and appreciate my own uniqueness.

susannah said:

Three is a great score. Even though they being far away makes immediate friendship a bit lonely indeed.

I have a circle of six amazing friends. Some I see every week, other once a month, one every three months or so.

Knowing I can always rely on them; can call them whenever I need, makes me feel secure.

HamsterHuey said:

See thats it, I don't feel that Although I've often thought that might be my own introvertedness...

Haystack said:

Very strong point of view and one I hope to believe when I say it, some day

Hugs help

susannah said:

I have a younger sister. When she was born, I was close to 5, and suddenly was pretty much left to my own devices.

mdiver said:

Thankyou It did

susannah said:

:asssqueezewhileiamhugging:


we need that emoticon

ZombieKitten said:

Hmm interesting. I am an only child but my parents didnt really interact with me a lot, they were doing other things... needless to say, fantasy is my greatest talent.

mdiver said:

I would throw a brick at you, but then that probably made me feel better too!

susannah said:

heheheheh so would Val, you could gang up on me, i will bet that would take your mind off it

mdiver said:

Hmmm an outlet for my rage, always good!

Not on you though love

susannah said:

In that case.....back to hugging

You know where i am if you need me.....

mdiver said:

Thanks

I guess I am just used to being an only child and I usually only have a few "real" friends at a time.

I guess that way I am never disappointed.

susannah said:

i have step siblings but i am an only child.

susannah said:

It did take me a long time to get there. But it's so darn true!

It took me a long time to appreciate that I'm me and if the supposed friends I've got don't appreciate that, then it's time for me to find new friends. And that's what I did.

I was so busy trying to become part of the 'group' and trying so hard to be accepted by them (often by sacrificing my real personality), I just didn't see that I shouldn't be spending time with those who didn't appreciate me (can get you very depressed) and should find people who did appreciate me for what I was - oddities and all.
Ultimately, I realised that the only problem I had was allowing my old friends' rejection to be so important to me.

As Prince says; Style is not lusting after someone because they're cool.
Style is loving yourself 'til everyone else does 2

And that's so true!