to them, does it feel like theyre taking a big nice piss?

i seriously wanna know.

InsatiableCream said:

oh my gawwwwwd



i don't speak cow though sorry

Not sure.

I imagine I might have a better idea what it's like when a bull gets milked though.

Imago said:

This thread is intense.

Ask your mummy what it feels like.

Seriously though - why the fuck do we, humans, like to drink the lactate from other animals? Who the fuck was the first disgusting individual who walked past a cow, looked at the udders and thought:

Spookymuffin said:

MOOO

I like milk

luv4u said:

ok ok.

Is canadian milk ultra pasteurized, devoid of nutrients (unless vitamins are 'fortified' or 'added' back) and completely filled with hormone and anti-biotic musus soup , like the US variety ?

Imago said:

Homogenized 2% milk

luv4u said:

Do you have your own farms or do you use largely US ones?

I think US milk is sooooo gross.

InsatiableCream said:

This is a question that keeps me up at night.

supposedly it feels similar to when a lactating woman breastfeeds. So there is some relief from pressure build up but I don't think it's like taking a piss. But then again, I haven't breastfed either so I don't really know.

MoniGram said:

that question was one of many that kept me up last night.

Protege said:

I would be interested in learning more about these other questions.

Imago said:

it can be

MoniGram said:

mainly the questions about significant ushers, udders, otters, butters, ogres, and so on.

i was up till four in the morning posting on and reading those threads. and up later still laughing about them.

Imago said:

We have our own farms that supply milk, cheese, etc, etc. including the famous Alberta Beef.

I imagine they hurt when the udders are full, and it would feel relieving to have them emptied. Not the same degree of relief as emptying a full to bursting bladder.

Finally a thread about cows and this is what you humans come up with.

I mean WTF!

Protege said:

Cow said:

well cow, enlighten us. what does it feel like to be milked?

or are you a beef cow?

JasmineFire said:

please do. this is one of those eternal questions.

JasmineFire said:

I stood there trembling. The man in the green hat was going to drop by any minute and relive my aching udders of their burden. He cam every morning as the sun rose. I knew what he was their for. The silver pail gleaming as the new day dawned. But even though he was taking from me, he was giving something too. Relief. Release, A sense of freedom felt in my tingly cow parts.

"Hey there, Bossy," he said, in his rural twang. Who cares if that wasn't my name. The man in the green hat could call me anything he wanted as long as his eased my pain. He climbed on next to me and sat down on the stool. The familliar clang of the bucket was next. The routine was so familliar and yet it did not bring contempt. Only a strange sense of contentment and pleasure, deep down in my four stomachs.

The hands were warm, not cold and calloused like so many who had groped me before. It was almost like he was wearing gloves but he wasn't. It was his pleasing man-hands, so knowledgeable about how to get what they wanted from me. The milk splattered against the pail, slowly at first and then more rapidly as my udders continued to crave release. Squeeze, squeeze, splash...squeeze, squeeze, splash...a symphony of soon to be homogenized relief. It was all I could take and then I could hear the sound escape from my lips. The sound that indicated that I was at his mercy.

"Moo," I bellowed. What more could be said, really. The man with the green hat smiled with a self-satisfied humanoid smile that showed he knew I was at his mercy. His hands could do what my hooves could not. Damn his gentle, warm man-hands. Damn my refilling udder. Damn this milk that brought me so much pleasure and yet so much pain.

Okay, is that what you wanted to hear, you sick, sick bastards!

Cow said:

OMG, you're back

Cow said:

Good...killed the thread with a little old fashioned cow porn.

For what it is worth, I'm a frequent contributor to Farmhouse Forum.

Imago said:

Not all American milk is like that.

I buy mine directly from a farmer...who pastures his animals (so they aren't eating a lot of disgusting, destructive soy feed), does not homogenize the milk and pasteurizes it only to the minimum required by law.

It is divine.