Lets say your significant other is watching another while out with you. How do you feel about it? What if at all do you do or say about it?

i trust him so it doesnt bother me much

that being said, i'd rather him not to do it

I would say something like "she's pretty, isn't she?" but not in a snotty tone. Just my way of letting him know I know he's checking someone else out and maybe he'll make it less obvious. Now if he's eye fucking the shit out of that bitch, well...two can play at that game.

Often I'm looking at him too, so...

I use to get jealous and say things like 'u want me to get her number for u'.

But i got over that cuz I do it too. Im a flirt. If I see a nice looking man, imma stare him down until he thinks im crazy.

I try to be free spirited and pro-liberal about things or I can take the other option and say its okay that people do it-its normal and that I'm okay with it but honestly its something I am not comfortable with it.

I'm confident enough in myself to be okay with this. As long as it's not excessive, I let it go.

Of course that's how I will be when I get my first girlfriend. And my Mum says that I will soon.

DanceWme said:

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

How do you feel about it?

hmm. I think it depends on if your significant other gets offended.

Overall, I don't think it so much about being distrustful or cheating so much as just being rude and disrespectful. It all depends on the situation I guess.

i'm really laid back about that kind of thing.

mainly because i'd be a hypocrite if i threw a fit about it.

Lammastide said:

God I love you!

So wonder if he is "eye fucking" (As in the post by Julie above) your wife with total disintrest in you..... Do you feel the same way ?

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Now THAT makes me suddenly 120% heterosexual! I don't get jealous per se, but I certainly enjoy rubbing it in his face that she's "mine."

heybaby said:

So, do InsatiableCream and you think perhaps it is different for woman then men. Are men perhaps hardwired differently then woman?

mcmeekle said:

Your mom sounds like a real swell woman! So you think people who take extion to it lack confidence?

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

I think it is more socially expected of men. Because of that its accepted as something that they just do. Women do it to but its not as obvious I don't think.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Not really, it was just the set up line for my joke.

I don't really mind. She doesn't do it often, and usually she'll be checking out a girl who's dressed particularly well as it's really quite rare here. Chances are I'll be looking at the very same girl. I don't really do ogling though. I don't pay much attention to my surroundings most of the time unless there's a decent reason why I should (i.e. crossing the road ). I like to rest my eyes and my brain as much as possible so out shopping or something I'm usually actually tucked up at home in bed mentally.

heybaby said:

This came up in my class as a part of critical thinking project. It was very interesting to hear all of our view points and positions on the topic. Response to the topic ( in my opinion) varied by age and ranged from verbal assault to slapping the partner upside the head!

My personal view: Due to respect of my gender. I feel my response is tempered by the fact that I am female first and foremost, it is my belief that this largely impacts my position. I am of the belief that men and women are hardwired differently. That said...

It is a matter of respect. If he is observing her in passing it is his nature to do so. If he is making a career of it then he is disrespecting me and it needs to be addressed. Although not specifically at that time. The way woman and men feel about it in my view is VERY different.

Woman to woman Tif, I am not insecure with who I am nor do I feel men observing woman on the whole is avoidable. If a male makes an overt career of it as I have said prior, I am likely to say nothing at all but make notes and step away from him shortly. Perhaps we are seeking different things.

Imago said:

It does indeed. I hear however, as I did in class, that the subject is not dealt with full frontal. Both sides tend to waffle about how it makes them feel as individuals. We elude to it but that is as far as our comfort zone extends.
Intuitively I am of the belief that men and woman alike really don't like it. It is however, excepted more so and or glazed over by females the subject is very polarized.

Lammastide said:

Property ownership very masculine trait!

heybaby said:

Very agreed! We have a need to be more disgreet or is it respectful? This came up in class...

mcmeekle said:

I adore you and that said, NO DUH!
[Edited 3/22/08 18:32pm]

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

I agree with that except I will say something to let them know how I feel about it-the first time I see it in action. I don't think I would walk away but I would make note of it.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

i wouldnt know

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

Personally, in my real life, I won't do it. Part of showing you respect and honor your significant other is in how you behave. Having some class may not be necessary to him/her, but it certainly is NEVER an unattractive trait.

You don't have to come riding into a persons life on a white horse and in a knight's uniform--just treat them with respect. It's always appreciated.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

I'm joking... somewhat. I know full well I don't own my wife or her inclination to appreciate another male's beauty. But I do find it interesting that I'm more... er... "piqued" by another guy's appreciation for my wife than hers for him. I think my own particulars may skew my view: My wife and I are totally mismatched in at least one very obvious way. That she willfully sticks around despite this -- and she would definitely have options -- makes me really confident in her feelings for me and less threatened by anything visceral she might feel for some random stud.

...But, yeah, as a matter of mutual respect, neither of us would have some XXX throwdown ooglefest on a third party. It's just a bit tacky.
[Edited 3/22/08 19:04pm]

Imago said:

You sound ready to be taken seriously in a relationship.

Muse2NOPharaoh said:

He does. In several, in fact.

fhqwhgads said:

I hate you


and love you.