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Printablegemini13 said: sag10 said: C'mere I just want to give you a big hug..  That's normal, right? 
Now I feel guilty for not being able to be upset. Jeez, I am all kinds of fucked up in the head.  Sweetheart you will be feeling every emotion there is.. Go with it, and don't ever feel bad, or guilty for this.. You have every right to, this is your father! ^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^*^
Being happy doesn't mean that everything is perfect, it means you've decided to look beyond the imperfections... unknown | |
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sag10 said: gemini13 said: That's normal, right?
Now I feel guilty for not being able to be upset. Jeez, I am all kinds of fucked up in the head. Sweetheart you will be feeling every emotion there is.. Go with it, and don't ever feel bad, or guilty for this.. You have every right to, this is your father!  that is so true
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Ahhhhh Gem. It's a cruel world we live in. My father too is battling Stage 4 prostate, now in his bones and possibly his lungs this week, although we are hoping it's just the chest cold that so many others have. He was updated last month and told he might make it to Spring, which was this week and that doomed date has been dancing in my head for weeks. Can't seem to keep him on his feet anymore (bones are like chalk now) and oh God oh God oh God, I've read enough to know that the pain is coming. There is no dignity in dying this way. I'm not sure why we have to go thru this. I try to be strong around him, but when it's just me with my Mom...I can't help myself - I break. I know I won't be the same person when this is over. All we can do is make them as comfortable as possible and to let them know how much they meant to us; how much they are loved. I think knowing this has to make it easier for them to pass. Big hug Gem. | |
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Red said: Ahhhhh Gem. It's a cruel world we live in. My father too is battling Stage 4 prostate, now in his bones and possibly his lungs this week, although we are hoping it's just the chest cold that so many others have. He was updated last month and told he might make it to Spring, which was this week and that doomed date has been dancing in my head for weeks. Can't seem to keep him on his feet anymore (bones are like chalk now) and oh God oh God oh God, I've read enough to know that the pain is coming. There is no dignity in dying this way. I'm not sure why we have to go thru this. I try to be strong around him, but when it's just me with my Mom...I can't help myself - I break. I know I won't be the same person when this is over. All we can do is make them as comfortable as possible and to let them know how much they meant to us; how much they are loved. I think knowing this has to make it easier for them to pass. Big hug Gem.
Oh no!!! OMG, you just took the thoughts out of my head. I'm so sorry, just know that I feel the exact same way that you do.
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Rhondab said: Sorry gem.
just love him. He's still here so celebrate his LIFE!!! As Serious has said, we all deal so differently. Pray, meditate but love on him. Karla, I wholeheartedly agree with this. 6 months after my cousin died my grandmother was diagnosed with breast cancer and it had already advanced into her lymph nodes. Coming on the heals of my cousin's death this was just crushing news but it did give us some opportunities. I had a 2 hour conversation with her in the hospital right before that San Francisco invasion and we talked about all kinds of things, many of which I was hearing for the first time. It was an amazing bonding moment and really became the basis for our continuing relationship while she is here. I take all opportunities to call, to go to Bingo with her, to tell her I love her. Your dad could have walked out of the house and got hit by a car and you could have lost him completely and totally and instantly. You still have him. Take the opportunity to say the things you never said, let him know just how much you love him and how much he means to you. Use the time you have to live and love. In the end, that is what life is all about
Love you
. [Edited 3/26/08 9:46am] 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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emm said: some thoughts... take them or leave them
i've not had to face this yet (at least not as an adult) but it scares the daylights out of me so i certainly don't mean to infer that i am at all rational about this. however as fury said, our parents are supposed to leave us at some point. and in turn we will leave our children. every one of us. it's something we have no control over. and that is scary. the reality is something could happen at any moment to any one of us. blink. gone. knowing that and living that are two different things. i could say all the things i mean to say to my parents but i don't. i could ask all i mean to ask about them but i haven't. i went to a funeral a while ago for a neighbor of mine growing up. i hadn't seen her for years and yet could not stop crying. in my head i know i was equating her mortality with my parents'. i admire those people that can stand up there and smile sharing stories about their loved one. i'm not one of those people. i need to cry. i need to be angry. i need to get it out. and i really hate it when someone says "be strong". no, thanks. i'm just going to be me. ok last random thought. this may sound weird. i don't mean it to be offensive but perhaps you have been given a gift of sorts. the rest of us muddle through life taking time with each other for granted. then an accident happens and we are left with "i wish i had..." and "why didn't i...". don't mourn today for the time you might not have 5 years from now. we all are just given one day at a time. embrace the fight. help him give it everything he has. lean on each other venting emotions. don't bottle anything up! and embrace outside support too. and hopefully the rest of us can learn and won't take any time for granted either. You know, I really struggle with this in regards to my cousin. Intellectually I know that she would disappear and nobody would know where she was and it wasn't like I could just drop her a line but when she was killed, there was nothing I could say to her ever again and it does haunt me. So now I do take those opportunities to express forgiveness, or love, or share laughter and good times. I take them. This is one of the best things that we can receive out of such a horrid situation 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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gemini13 said: sag10 said: C'mere I just want to give you a big hug.. That's normal, right?
Now I feel guilty for not being able to be upset. Jeez, I am all kinds of fucked up in the head. It's normal Karla On the way to the cemetary to visit my cousin's grave I bawled and after I left the grave I bawled. When I was there it took me a while to feel anything. It's definitely a protective mechanism 2010: Healing the Wounds of the Past.... http://prince.org/msg/8/325740 | |
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