There's this guy in my 4th period Health Science class that sits across from me at my table. We've been pals for months now, but only one of those months ago did I realize that I was falling for him. He's one of the most beautiful shining stars of people I've ever gotten to know: He's smart as hell (in the IB program, as a matter of fact), a diligent student, hilarious, ambitious (wants to grow up to be a doctor like his parents, more specifically a surgeon), helpful, kind-hearted, and handsome.

Nearly two weeks ago, I slipped a letter in his bookbag behind his back confessing how much I liked him. It was nothing long or sappy, just a short and sweet declaration of my feelings and all the good qualities I liked about him.

But in all the days of these two weeks since, not once has he spoken a word to me about the note. I can't be completely sure if he's even read it or not, but I'm 90% sure he has, considering the last few times I've glanced at the outside his bookbag, the note was in a separate place, all on its own, isolated from all the junk I had originally slipped it in with.

I have been contemplating confronting him about the letter very soon, since his oblivion/reluctance has been testing my patience, and breaking my heart. And by "confront" I don't mean go, "Hey, dude! What the hell gives? Are ya gonna give me an answer or not?" I just mean, "Hey, did you ever get my note? If so, what do you think of it?" I really didn't wanna press the issue on him and that's why I haven't said a word about it these past two weeks, but I'm not gonna wait on him to give me an answer forever, because the sooner he rejects me (which is all too possible), the sooner I can get over him, and the less impact it will have on me.


I shared my plan with some friends at lunch today to confront him on Friday, and I got mixed reactions. My best friend (who is highly intelligent, but also quite fast and promiscuous herself with boys, so I don't know just how much I truly value her opinion) tells me that if I confront him, it will place our friendship and his pride in jeopardy, and it's best to just keep waiting on an answer. But my other friends gave me the thumbs-up, and I myself feel that if I DON'T confront him, I may just never get an answer, and I'll never know how he really feels about me in return.


What do you think I should do? And why do you think he's acting like everything is hunky-dory and no different from usual with me, and that I never gave him any sort of love letter? You might say that only *I* can find the answer to the first question within my heart, and that the answer to the second question just might be something only HE knows. But some more outside suggestions and theories would sure give this young'n some comfort, and a tad more confidence. I always love going to the org for advice because the vast majority of this board are adults.


I guess maybe I'm just a little too obsessed with this boy because he's the only person in my lifetime thus far I've ever had real feelings for (an elementary crush that left me in tears no longer counts that much to me, since I'm not a little kid but a young adult now), and I'm petrified of him breaking my heart by saying he doesn't like me like I like HIM. I know I should just stop wasting my tears over something I haven't had to begin with and possibly never WILL have, but when he's a boy as wonderful as I've described, I almost feel like I can't help myself. There may be other fish in the sea, and I may still a looong road ahead of me (hopefully), but I'd just really hate to lose this one.


Thoughts?

I thought you were a lesbian.



lawd.



ok, I'm reading your post now.

Say something...anything. Not knowing is torture.

I'd just ask what he thought about the silly note you wrote him. Keeping the whole topic fairly light and not making it a heavy "about us" discussion.

Follow his lead. If he seems mortified when you bring it up I would just tell him that maybe you made a mistake giving him the letter because the last thing you ever wanted to do was make him feel uncomfortable.

Ugh, but I am useless with men it would appear...so what the hell do I really know.

hmmm. Has his behavior towards you changed even in the most suttle manner?



Boys at that age have no clue what they want (I'm assuming he's 17 or 18 as you're a senior in high school right?)


At any rate, I'm not sure what to tell you except the next 3 to 4 years of your life are going to be tulmultous, exciting, crazy, fun and always heartbreaking. It's going to shred you apart. So I guess you might as well take the chance.


Note: that's why girls in their late 20s and early 30s are such bitches--they've toughenned up and learned a bit about how to defend against us...or they go gay or get revenge.


You should confront him--just don't expect stellar results.

Relax. continue to be his friend and just hang out with him more. He is already aware of how you feel so just let things happen naturally. You will know his answer soon through his actions.

awwwww...

Don't let it go, it's OK to ask him about it after you've given him sufficient time. You won't know unless you ask and it's not fair for him to not respond at all in any way.

It's possible he's said nothing cause he doesn't know what to say. But after waiting so long you deserve to hear something from him.

Good luck. You've done all you can do.

heybaby said:

This sounds like the beginnings of a long life as a fag-hag.

Go home and pull out the most skankiest outfit u got.

Then ask him about the letter.

Imago said:

You ass.

DanceWme said:

OMG, I want you NOW!!!!!

Imago said:

You mean a straight-hag? but thats only if she lets it, all she has to do is get the message and move on. My first instinct would be to just ask him what does he think about the note but I posted my first advise because I figured that this would be the only way to know without getting her feelings hurt if he doesn't feel the same way making their friendship awkward in the future. I'm a staunch believer in not getting your feelings hurt if it can be helped

has there been any flirting?
perhaps he thought you liked women too.

do you talk over the phone or IM's?
perhaps it would be easier for both of you
if you didn't have to talk face to face.


he kept the note. that's interesting, don't you think?

Am I the only one that's too lazy to read such long posts???? Can someone summarize please???

I think the best thing to do is to get him drunk then undo his pants and see how he reacts.

You'll get your answer.

JustErin said:

Now that sounds more like Erin advice.

CarrieMpls said:

He may be an ass, but you gotta love him.

You guys crack me up.

And thank you SO much for the advice so far, everybody.

In response to your question, Dan, no, his behavior hasn't changed towards me one bit eversince he received the letter. He amusingly but amiably treats me like the same ol' "white girl" (he's Dominican) that he's known all year, and that's the only reason why I still have this TINY bit of doubt that he's even read the letter yet.

squiddyren said:

all year? girl you need to just do it. ask him what he thinks about it

Imago said:

Dont tell me that

I thought you were a guy.

you're a thousand times braver than i was in high school. damn

i think what justerin said is pretty good.

Just chill out. If he comes 2 u.....it's cool. If he does not, then u have your answer.

emm said:

but she's not even sure if he read it.

are you absolutely certain you remembered to sign your name to the letter?

did you sign it? does he know it was you?

if so, talk about another guy and see how he acts, if not, follow Erins' advice, she's hot and only dates pretty people

emm said:

No, he hasn't flirted with me as far as I can tell, and he already knows I'm bisexual, which I'm sort of afraid might be a turn-off for him.



Nah, I don't have any of his contacts, and now that he most likely knows how I REALLY feel about him, I feel I would be acting too fast or coming off as a little too enamored for now, and so would he, perhaps.



Bingo. For a while, I thought that he was keeping the note because he likes me back but just doesn't know what to say to me, but now I understand that two more possibilities could be that he's keeping it simply because it boosts his ego, or because he DOESN'T like me back but would feel cruel if he just threw away the note, so he's keeping it near to him regardless.

Slave2daGroove said:

I am never gonna be able to live that fucking thread down.

heybaby said:

Stymie said:

The avatars'll get ya everytime.

evenstar said:

Aw, thanks, evenstar.

WillyWonka said:

-- Lindsay, aka "White Girl"