Imago said:

Bend over

Ocean said:

nope but i definitely feel my biological clock
i am auntie to 8 and always said i wouldn't raise one on my own
but am reconsidering that. also contemplating fostering.

veronikka said:

ahh ok .....I guess it's not so hard to adjust if u never lived together

CarrieMpls said:

like what? Money?

CarrieMpls said:

Can I ask how old u are hun.....or u can me if u like

emm said:

I've been going through the same thoughts the last few years. I always said I never wanted kids, and objectively I'm not ready, but I think the clock is starting to boot me in the head. I'm starting to think that maybe I DO want one and if I do, there's a LOT I've got to do to get there.

Ocean said:

No worries. I'm 32. A spinster already.

But twice in the last week people gasped when I told them how old I was. I usually get guessed at about 24-26.

horatio said:

I probably would need to spend one night alone, all in a zone, driving in my car deferring all decisions until morning. Well shit.



It's a big decision to make.
Whales don't get that big


(subliminal assplay edit)

[Edited 3/14/08 17:37pm]

emm said:

It takes a very special type of person to do that...Im sure u would be great..I friend of mine does it and she could be mother of the year.....

CarrieMpls said:

Hardly a spinster ...and I can understand their gasping ...u do look like ur in ur 20's

Imago said:

Just as well rushing has no kids

Ocean said:

carrie has amazing skin. You'd think she was 24/25, and her boobs are no older than 20.

Imago said:

You mean deferring.

Imago said:

[Edited 3/14/08 17:28pm]

Ocean said:

Rushing seems like he would be terribly exciting in the sack, but not willing to carry a child for 9 months.




[Edited 3/14/08 17:51pm]

CarrieMpls said:

It didn't fit the subplot

Imago said:

Imago said:

No, it still fits.

CarrieMpls said:

ok, you caught it huh?

ok, changing it



(I'm pathetic )

I wouldn't have a problem, as long as she was a good mother, her kids were already pretty much well-behaved, and their father was good to them (if he's still around or alive)...but I wouldn't be very high on meeting the kids right off the bat. That shouldn't be broached until much later...

My EX-fiance had two daughters by 2 different women: his ex-wife and a relationship after that. He had 1/2 custody of each, so they were both with us EVERY weekend.
He treated the older one like she taught Jesus to walk on water. She was a brat of spectacular proportions! She was sneaky, a liar, and she did everything in her power to break us up.
We got engaged on Christmas Eve. On Christmas Day, we were at his Mother's house and she sat on the couch . She told everyone who would listen how her Daddy ruined her Christmas- she knew he was going to ask me, but I wasn't supposed to say yes!
Eventually her manipulation, on top of other stresses became too much, and we broke up.

Before him, I was in a relationship with a guy who had full custody of his 2 boys because his ex-wife had "issues". I got along great with the kids, and everything was cool, till I found out he told his ex-mother-in-law that I was the kids' tutor!
When I asked him about it, he admitted his main attraction to me is that I am a teacher.

So, I tell those stories to say this: no more men with kids. I am 40 years old, so I know it will be tough. But I have none of my own, and I don't want anymore B.S. from someone else's kids!

for the right person, yes I could and would but then what wouldn't I do for the right person.

Byron said:

Do u think though that u can be a good mother/father to ur own but maybe not so good to someone elses?

Living and loving this life for almost 24 yrs now

chocolate1 said:

wow

Mach said:

Ur a stepmum?

Ocean said:

Yes I am

Ocean said:

Well, if I became involved with someone who had kids I would proberly see them as my kids by the time we married...So, yeah, I think I would be able to be as good a parent to both.

As long as he understands that his child(ren)'s needs come first at all times. I can't bear to see a child feeling like they'd been pushed aside as their father is running around trying to fulfill his own needs first, especially when the child has already experienced their parents splitting. It's abuse, in my opinion, however unintentional.

And having somewhat been in that child's shoes when I was young, I'd be unwavering in my effort to make sure the child is happy, stable and loved at all times. Each stepparent/stepchild relationship is different, and one has to be sensitive to the child's emotional boundaries, needs, and everything else that comes with it. Families aren't collages to be ripped apart and pasted without discretion. It's a painstaking process that requires compassion and selflessness at all times.