typically I hate kids, but I guess it just depends on how well behaved they are and how un-needy the lot of the is including the S.O.

I dated a man with 3 children a year and a half ago or so. It never got serious, I never met them. His having kids wasn't an issue for me, but him saying he never wanted to get married again was. So that was pretty much it.

horatio said:

Yeah but even the best kids have their moments.....parents put up with bad because there is so much good and they love them.....I wonder how it would be having to put up with someone else kids when they are throwing a wobbly

CarrieMpls said:

Did they live with their mum? .....I guess in most circumstance stepmums would have it a little easier as most kids tend to live with their mum...and see Dad on weekends or whatever

Ocean said:

Well, once someone's a parent, it's sort of a package deal. Certainly "single" parents can have more casual relationships without their children being the wiser, but if it's to get serious at all, then you have to either learn to live with them or not, really.

At my age, I don't think it matters anymore

Kids are far less baggage than years of repressed anger against men.

Sure, I'd like to meet that one special person who doesn't yet have children so we could spend a couple of years an blissful honeymoon period

But if she had kids, than I think I could deal with that. By the way, even though I'm not crazy about kids (other than my nephews who are my best friends), kids are absolutely crazy about me. I'm not sure why, but they adore me, so I think I could get along with them just fine.

My current soulmate doesn't have children but if that person wants them, that's fine with me.

Imago said:

That's cause ur a clown!! I bet my kids would love u
I am surprised u said SHE though

Oh, and might I add the sad double standard, that even though I'm not crazy about children, I find that same trait in women terribly unattractive.

I love women who adore children. I don't hold the same standard towards men.

Ocean said:

oops. Repressed hetero moment slipped through there

I dated a man with 3 children a year and a half ago or so. It never got serious, I never met them. His having kids wasn't an issue for me, but him saying he never wanted to get married again was. So that was pretty much it.

At my age, I don't think it matters anymore

CarrieMpls said:

So you wouldn't date a man who just wanted a long term girlfriend?

Imago said:

She's not gonna get in line love

seeing someone with kids - I did for 11 yrs

do u think u could take on the roll of step mother/step father - I was like their mother as their mother was not around

The ex.....the kids (possibly hating u) - his kids were very young when we started dating, never had a problem with the son but his daughter was only 2 when we met and she wanted her mom not me which is understandable but hard on one at the same time But as she got older our relationship got a lot better

would u be capable of loving them as u would ur own (if u have ur own) - I grew to love them very much so and still do and dont expect his children to ever be out of my life, especially since my daughter grew very close to his daughter but I can't say it ever was the way I loved my own daugter

I'm not sure I could do it - It is very difficult, for me it was more my ex pressuring me into being a better mom to them, I did not meet his expectations in that department but now that we are no longer together he realizes that I was good to his kids and was doing the best I could

He was and still is great with my daughter

Imago said:

I was commenting to a friend that all the men my age are married or gay. He said that's absoutely not true, I just need to find the divorced ones now.

CarrieMpls said:

So you wouldn't date a man who just wanted a long term girlfriend?

Imago said:

She's not gonna get in line love

Ocean said:

Imago said:

I was commenting to a friend that all the men my age are married or gay. He said that's absoutely not true, I just need to find the divorced ones now.

yes i would date a man with kids. as long as we were on the same page about
our respective futures and the rolls we would play i think it works fine.

although i was contemplating what if he has two kids by two women? add me down the road and that is three baby mommas
do the kids feel like siblings or rivals? i don't want to be step mother. they already have a mother. he would
have to back me up in that i deserved respect as someone he cared about though.
but i would hope we could have a loving relationship. i love kids. doesn't matter who they belong to.


.
[Edited 3/14/08 17:10pm]

Imago said:

Depends on the guy, I suppose... There was more to it than that with this guy, but it was a factor. I wouldn't say I never would, but I DO want to get married someday. I'm certianly not looking to get married within a few months of the beginning of a relationship, but if I'm dating someone who says he absolutely won't ever, then, well, what's the point?

wow ..11 years.....Is it hard not being in that role to them after all that time?

CarrieMpls said:

The sex and companionship I guess.

Though I can see your point of view.