violator said:

Only in our sleep apparently.

CalhounSq said:

If you keep it stored for later, you're eventually going to explode.
I think Morris Day said it best - Release it!

violator said:

I heard they shit, too. But it's just a rumour.

violator said:

of course we do not! women are delicate flowers to whom most bodily functions do not apply

ArielB said:

Then I'll fart up a storm when he leaves, but fuck that - I ain't fartin' around no dude Even if he was sound asleep I'd wanna lift one ass cheek so it wouldn't make noise & w/ my luck that slightest movement would wake him & the smell would come wafting up the covers!!!

I farted in front of my male friend, and he said he was so humbled...

all women fart in their sleep...deal with it girls...

as far as this bodily function around others, it's best to walk outside or take it somewhere else because everyone poos

shanti0608 said:

Only in our FAKE sleep you mean!

It's one of my most prized weapons

What better way to say RACK OFF to your drunken husband who reeks of beer and Kebab after he comes in after YET ANOTHER night out with the boys while you have stayed in with the kids than to fake sleep and hold one in whilst he creeps up to you...stonker raging...snuggles his slinky self into the back of you...whispers a sweet nothing (usually punctuated with a beer burp) into your ear...then... BAM...let him have it, quack one off!


Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

CarrieMpls said:

There is a thing called etiquette.

There is nothing more special than sharing a dutch oven with that someone special first thing in the morning.

jojoapopjano said:

sounds like you need to find yourself a better husband.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Hmmmmm Yeah, does a bit doesn't it!

Nah, he's ok when he's not been eating kebab and drinking beer all night!

jojoapopjano said:

good, I am glad he is not always like that.

jojoapopjano said:

@ a self defense mechanism, kinda like an Octopuss

@ "quack one off"

PaisleyPark5083 said:

Thanks for the concern!

I'd say he's 96% gr8 and 4% Kebab burpish!

But you gotta let them know that kebab burpish deserves a punishment, farting is a good way!

I let them slip out here and there unless I know it's gonna be real stinky and/or loud. Girls poop AND fart, get over it men!

On a funny note, I know uhhh someone who's ahhh, ex boyfriend used to blow air into her vag and shake her around so she'd queef really loud. I was horrified! I mean SHE was horrified!!!

Slave2daGroove said:

Octopus - genius! I think that’s what I'm going to call it from now on!

jojoapopjano said:

I just saw from your profile you are Mdivers sister, and soon to be Val's sister-in-law!! Wow!! How totally cool!

PaisleyPark5083 said:

I know! I'm used to the mdivers sister bit (that is cool, he's a great bro) but the Val's sister in law bit...

CarrieLee said:

x a million

Carrie, save this one for "Get to know an Orger" threads...classic.

Slave2daGroove said:

Seriously, one second you're in pure ecstasy and the next second you're being blown up like a balloon and deflated!

CarrieLee said:

FRRRPP!!FRRRRRrrrrps. Frrp. pppfr. ss...s.

I read in Melbourne's child about a lady getting an extension built on her house, she walked into the kitchen in time to hear her 5 year old proudly exclaim to all the tradesmen "Mummy did a big poo!"

I was dating this girl and while we were having sex, she farted. I actually stopped and started laughing. I was like "Oh damn!". She was totally embarrassed. She didn't know what she should, if she should have laughed or cried. So she did both, at the same time. She kept telling me to shut up and stop laughing. And that it wasn't funny. I was like "The hell it ain't!". I started imitating the sound that she made when she farted. It sounded like a kazoo and shit. With a little whistle at the end. That shit was funny. I teased her bigtime. "I was like "I know I was good, but damn! I didn't know I could take u there!".

blackguitaristz said:

dang. now that is romantic.

XxAxX said:

Isn't it though?

blackguitaristz said:

well, yeah. being able to laugh and joke is cool. i think you were a gentleman. putting her at ease like that.

must have been funny though

XxAxX said:

funny, hell...make your eyes water