Imago said:

You shouldn't concede if those are your viewpoints...and I really do think that what stresses out one individual may be a piece o' cake to another individual, both in terms of the business world and parenting.

Maybe you're more of a natural parent than you are a natural corporate man lol ...

One4All4Ever said:

Thank you


I actually like SAH moms.

I'm thinking of starting a company that sells SAHMILF porn actually.

MoniGram said:

what I am doing now, and it's damned near impossible

ZombieKitten said:

But you are doing it!

MoniGram said:

sort of, in between ferrying them to school and kindy, groceries, laundry etc. Doesn't leave much time for solid concentrated blocks of creativity

ZombieKitten said:

I so understand what you are saying! We are in the same boat. Except mine are older and two are moved out. But I have been in your shoes!

I've done both. With being at home its the stress of making ends meet since I've always been a single parent (even in a relationship). both can take a physical and mental strain. I've worked and went to school while the kids were in school and out of school. There was a point where My oldest was in school and my two younger sons were in two different daycares. So every morning I had to make sure I dropped them off at those three locations(one was far south and the two daycares were north)-all on public transportation by myself. and then I just worked. Its very hard. but I can honestly say that working outside the home is much much easier for me. I go crazy just sitting in the house, all of it either way is just a hell of a lot of stress and you still gotta handle bills and homework, trips, and making sure my calender is in tune with the kids (lets not forget that their schedules are different individually by grade )and Please don't get sick-that fucks up the whole system I got goin ! I just officially finished up my B.A. in December (walk in May) and sometimes I just don't know how I do it or how anybody does for that matter. Being a mom is just hard period.

MoniGram said:

did you ever feel like "OK, I got 2 hours until I get the kids, design a logo! or not "

Imago said:

I don't know about that Dan
totally different kinds of stresses. I know you ruled out major health issues, but it seems to me kids have always got something minor, like stomach flus or respiratory viruses.
When you are on call 24 hours round the clock (and I don't know HOW you do that Ivy, and manage to work too ) you are tired. Several times a day you reach crisis point, and being tired does not help you deal with it well. Dealing with kids you LOVE and hate sometimes and feel guilty about that, by the end of the day it's an emotional rollercoaster - nobody gives you a pay rise or an appraisal. Strangers seem totally OK with judging if you are a good mother or not when your kid plays up in public It's exhausting.
A "job" you can take it or leave it. In the bigger picture, if you didn't turn up to work the next day, or the next week, aside from financial issues, really it doesn't matter one little bit in the scheme of things. If you decided to take a sickie as a SAH mum, bad things will happen. You just can't stop being a mum if you feel like it. If a mum is sick, there is no time off. Many times me and the 3 kids have been sick, but it's business as usual between puking.
You get holidays and holiday pay from a job. Holidays with kids are harder work than just staying home It does seem endless, stretching out ahead of me. That is stressful.
I kind of resent having this role thrust upon me. Call me disgruntled. I love my kids, but I know being at work 9-5 was soooo much easier. I could switch off, relax and do fun things after I knocked off. My day ends when they fall asleep, often not until after 9pm. If we try and watch a DVD, we get interrupted by kids having nightmares at least twice.

ZombieKitten said:

I was waiting for you to chime in.

CarrieMpls said:

I'm not sure I said anything that hasn't already been said though.
In conclusion, I don't think the 2 can be compared, unless a SAH mum gets paid for the hours and gets to knock off at a decent hour, go home, sleep 8 hours uninterrupted, and starts next day eager and fresh

Dan...I think you're kinda wrong about this one...in the "working" world, when shit gets rough, you can quit, leave or tell somebody to fuck off; if it pleases you...if you're a mother of any merit, you can't/won't do any of those things when times get rough at home...
when I met my wife, she was making a great living (earning LOTS more than me) and had been emloyed at the same place for 12 years...after our daughter was born, we decided to see if it was possible for her to stay home...we've been lucky that it's been financially feasible for her to do so...she busts her ass at home...between household things, volunteering at the kids' schools and dealing with the kids at home-she has her hands full...fortunately, she revels in all that being a stay at home mom entails and accepts the challenge without any second thought...I couldn't do it...I realize how truly lucky I am that I have somebody like her...I realize how truly lucky our children are to have someone like her...she tackles challenges everyday that I would gladly tackle but I could never handle with the same grace and dignity in which she does...Moms are something special...I think to call what they do a "job" isn't giving them enough credit...

roodboi said:

OMG , dude shut up.


I'm done! Totally!

(see my concession post. I've given up.)

OMG , dude shut up.


I'm done! Totally!

(see my concession post. I've given up.)

Imago said:

IN YOUR FACE, BANANA-NOSE!!!!!

CarrieMpls said:

God damnit.


How much more left-over Humble pie are you trying to make me eat?


sheesh.

Imago said:

I just like calling people banana-nose. I don't get much opportunity for it.

CarrieMpls said:

No please, call me Donk.


It's my stay at home babysitter name

ZombieKitten said:

I guess we needed a sort of "day-in-the-life" though... and you did a bit of that. I think it really goes back to the sterotypical impression that women who stay at home are eating bonbons and watching daytime tv and occasionally checking on the kids. The amount of housework alone (just keeping a place clean) with 3 children is crazy to me! And it's not to say they can't help, but often times you're doing stuff after them to get it done right. And keeping them busy with creative activities and cooking and cleaning and dropping to school and picking up from school and helping with homework and so on and so on and so on.

Sure, there are lazy stay-at-home moms. But there are lazy husbands who do nothing to help after work, or we ALL have lazy coworkers who barely get by with their minimum amount of effort put in on a job. In those scenarios, no one's doing a good job, so I don't think they compare.

DexMSR said:

Oh please. It's actually more than full-time. It's a 24 hour around the clock job.

Imago said:

Dude, no it ain't. And how the hell do you know? I've done both Dan is corporate world ain't got shit on the real world. Let me leave you with my son Daniel for two hours. You'd be crying like a little bitch to run back to your corporate job.

Full-time job or not.. I just think somebody needs to be home to raise the children if at all possible.

It's nice to have a parent at home when the child comes home from school.Somebody needs to be available to attend events, take them to the doctor, go to parent-teacher meetings.. just take an active interest in their lives. I just think it's difficult to do when working because there are a lot of scheduling conflicts.

I was a latch-key kid.. both of parents worked. They did the BEST that they could--so I don't harbor any resentment. But it would have been nice if they had both had been more involved in my life--helped me with some of my decisions, attended more of my extra-curricular activities. I was involved in both choir and dance, but neither of my parents attended many of shows or recitals. Now my mom made my costumes, but she for whatever reason she wouldn't come see me perform very often. My father didn't attend either.. but he was rather distant anyway.

I just always envied my friends who had parents that were more involved. I was rather lonely in my own home growing-up. So I was actually very lucky I didn't get into any trouble, using these activities to fill the void.

Like I said.. I've gotten over being angry at them because they did the best they could. But I do think somebody..whether that be the mom or dad needs to be involved in their childrens' lives whether they are working or not--and this even goes for teenage "children." Of course the best case scenario is to have a full-time parent. I just think that's difficult to do while holding a full-time job.