You know what, I sense I'm going to get stomped soon, so I'm bowing out now


Cant some of ya'll support my Eric Torkells thread?

Stymie said:

I realize that, but I'd like to know why you separate the commitment of a working mother from a SAH. They both never stop being mothers. What's the difference?

Imago said:

Don't say that.

Imago said:

It has a lot to do with how emotionally invested you are in either 'job'. I used to have back-to-back positions in the corporate world which sucked my will to live. It literally ravaged me physically, mentally, and psychologically. Thankfully I've chosen against that route now and choose lower-stress jobs with less interaction with others; less politics and investment.

BUT. Watching my friends' two incredible kids for six hours takes it out of me like the office never could. You have a choice whether work claims your soul. From one Eastern religious thinker to another--we have that control most of the time, do we not?

When you have children, you're 100% emotionally invested, all the time, to say the least! Through parental empathy and instinct (for most of us), we feel the pain, joy, and everything in between that our children encounter. All day, and all night. You never "come home" from it; there are no weekends or Paid Time Off. The stresses of their growth, education, mental and physical health, social health and all of the other worries that come along with EACH child.

There's no way the worst cubicle-monkey position compares. No way in hell. And I won't even include household chores.

Imago said:

Dance said:

Oh, I didn't mean to. All moms never stop being moms.

INSATIABLE said:

This is a choice.


Like Erin said, it depends on how much they put into it.


It's just not the same thing as working in Corporate America. It's much worse on my side of the fence. Much worse.


Sorry, I'm unbending in my opinion on this.




ok, backing out slowly from this thread....

Stymie said:

I think the difference is that instead of just having a plate of full of peas you have a plate full of peas and potatoes and let's throw in some chicken.

Sorry, I'm hungry.

It's the combination of stresses from home and totally different stresses from the work place (and everything that goes along with that) that makes it harder in many ways...I think anyway.

It seems that many are calling being a SAH and being a parent the same thing.

We can all agree that being a parent isn't easy and requires every bit of yourself.

The question I have is about SAH moms which are totally separate.

When compared with a typical job is being a SAH mom the same?

Imago said:

You're right. Quality parenting IS a choice.


Is this not also a choice? And maybe, part of the problem is that you're talking about a fence that has two sides. Trust me when I say I not only respect your point of view, and also have valid experience on that front. I analyzed the life worth of people killed in automobile accidents and cut their families checks based on a sick, computerized database. The pressure from my management, peers and horrified grieving families for four years ultimately led me into some serious physical ailments.


I understand. But would still choose my old job over pregnancy. Nothing, to me, compares to that kind of responsibility.

Dance said:

For me....IMHO....personally speaking.....(sensing a theme? ) I would equate SAH moms to middle management....moreso than looking at it as a typical job.....granted, the younger the kids, the more demanding the management tasks are....but as kids get older, their emotional needs don't diminish very much...and those of us with teens know that they're damned near as demanding of your time and ear as little ones are....

JUST MY HUMBLE, NOT WANTING TO OFFEND OR PISS OFF ANYONE OPINION!!!

INSATIABLE said:

My job is way more stressful than any stay at home mothers (barring as Ive stated health issues or special needs).

Way way more. Yeah, its a choice that I keep my job, it's not a choice how I perform it. I always have to be good at what I do or I'll get nixxed. Mothers have that choice even. They simply do. They have a host of choices I dont have so I don't really view they're tribulations any where even remotely close to mine.


As I've stated the real tough jobs go to mothers who work AND take care of thier kids. SAH moms ...meh.

JustErin said:

I'll take the stress from work over the stress of my kids any day.

Stymie said:

For me, I think it waivers back and forth. All I know is that trying to both some days is really tough...but oh well, such is life.

Imago said:

Working parents (shit, how many SAHs even exist anymore?!) definitely have it a million times tougher. My dad did it on his own. Yet, I have absolute respect for those who are able to stay home. It's damn good for kids to have that opportunity with a parent. IMO, I guess.

And I've got you on the work front. Trust me. My conscience broke through one day and I was out of there with the QUICKNESS. Fucking liberation, I tell you.

A stay-at-home mom is more than a full time job. It is also a job in which you do overtime hours even when you don't want to (If the baby wakes up crying in the middle of the night, it is usually the wife who wakes up to take care of that).

Imago said:

I guess I don't think anyone's trying to say your particular job isn't stressful. And maybe yours is way worse than the worst SAH mom's.

But in general, there's no way I can agree that the average corporate job is "worse" than what the average SAH deals with. On the average. In general. To be clear, there's no way am I stating it's that way for every single person.
Just most.

Carrie, you and Jana are both wrong.

Please support my Eric Torkells thread before it dies.


I'll rejoin this one if I get up the nerve and balls again later. I'm writing orgnotes right now

Imago said:

I don't know who he is.

So go write your orgnotes.

Imago said:

You'd have to do more than watch your sister being a parent from the outside, or watching your neice's and nephews for a week or so in order to fully grasp what being a parent is like, and how it can weigh on you. Your own kids will give you a shitload more stress, strains, worries, concerns, fears and insecurities than anyone else's kids ever will, or could.

At the same time, though, there is no level of fulfillment, satisfaction or happiness that can match what your children can bring you throughout their lives...no raise, promotion, honorary award or professional acknowledgement will ever bring me as much eternal fulfillment or glowing happiness as when I saw my daughter taking her first steps. It was indescribable.

But for me, there's no amount of work-related stress that equals fearing for your child's life. There's no coworker, boss, supervisor, client or CEO who can do anything to me or effect my job in any way that could even come remotely close to what that feels like. And there isn't a parent alive who will never experience that feeling at least several times over.

Imago....I disagree and I'm a single mother who works and the SHIT my mom did....BIG up.

My mom MANAGED the household. She was in charge of the finances.

From getting us ready for school, cooking (from scratch), cutting the grass, then taking her mother to grocery store, dealing with the plumber...oh hell the brakes are going out the car....helping my brother understand Romeo and Juliet (lawd...i really remember those days...funny). She was on the PTA.


I don't do nearly as much around the house as my mother or my grandmother.

I really didn't know those two to sit down until it was time for bed.

My mother worked until I was 10 and then she had to retire on disability at 34. She never stopped.


Whatever....she kicked ass. I think if you're talkin' old school moms...AWESOME.

Stress is Stress. I'd rather have work stress than home stress anyday. Believe that.

I still don't agree with you guys


I. dont. agree.

Imago said:

Because you're an idiot.

But that's ok. We knew long before this that you were an idiot.
[Edited 3/11/08 13:24pm]

JustErin said:

Your opinions have never mattered much.


I stand by my convictions.

Imago said:

Let's put it this way...

I have yet to meet a parent who said "You know, this is JUST like the time I watched my nephews for a week that one summer" lol ...

Imago said:

Dude, that guy looks like a vomit shishkebab.

Imago said:

That hurt.

*single tear*

Byron said:

Well, we can have a stay at home mom breif the company execs on why a 50 million dollar project that may affect the company's stock value will be late then.


no comparison. At. all.

Imago said:

Dude, why are you so hell-bent on proving your job is the hardest thing ever?

JustErin said:

Corporate mom's are far tougher than that.