Why do some parents dedicate their ENTIRE life 2 their kids? I don't understand this. Please enlighten me.

maybe they want their kids to achieve what they never could.

I have given my whole life to my kids. What is wrong with that?

my parents tired that with me but I wasn't having it. them as with everybody else get a hobby...have a respectable amount of stuff of your own.

I think it's something a good, responsible parent should do. However.....some parents let their children run their lives and never have a moment to themselves. We all deserve time for ourselves and doing things just for ourselves. Some parents are overly indulgent with their kids and their kids know it and take great advantage of it. Some parents allow their kids to make decisions about things that the parent should be deciding (vacations, what to spend money on, where to eat etc). Some parents forget how to be an individual once they have children.

The bottom line for me is...if you have children you better be willing to sacrifice all kinds of things for them. If not, don't have them.

Graycap23 said:

Are you serious? Hmm...I dunno. Maybe because you have to clothe, feed, shelter and nurture them? And if you do not have a sitter, you have to spend a considerable amount of time with them?

Empress said:

I need to work on that

I'm not really sure what you mean.

Can you be a bit more specific? Or give an example of dedicating their lives to their kids?

veronikka said:

Yes, most parents I know have a hard time with that. We have to remember that if we're happy and healthy and treat ourselves well, it will reflect on our kids and they will be happier for it.

JustErin said:

I know people who basically have NO life outside of their kids. It seems they have forfeited their own lives 4 their kids. I'm just trying 2 understand it. I have 2 kids, they are great kids and I do all that I can 4 them, but I don't eliminate my own existance 4 them. That does NOT make sense 2 me.

My world does revolve around my kids, I am guilty. But I do enjoy my weekly, leaving the girls with my oldest son (24) and just going out to dinner alone with my husband or the movies. I actually look foward to this, and we limit our "talking about the kids" while we are out.

Stymie said:

All parents have 2 do that. Does that mean u should have NO life?

Graycap23 said:

Sometimes it means that, yes. Sometimes it's the consequence of having kids.

PaisleyPark5083 said:

It's great to have a date night and just be with each other once in a while. Good for you!

Empress said:

I definitely do so much for my son...maybe many would think I spoil him a bit too much but I have learned that I also absolutely need to be a bit selfish myself to be happy and in turn have that happiness rub off on him.

Stymie said:

That's right.

Some people do not have the option of having much of a life because they are in it alone.

JustErin said:

Single parent of a disabled child.

When I get away for a little while, it's bliss but when I can't, I realize it is a choice I made.

JustErin said:

I know some folks that absolutely have choices and options yet they still do it. It's like they can't find a healthy balance.

Graycap23 said:

But if they're happy about doing that then what's the big deal?

I'd rather see too much attention given to children, than not enough.

JustErin said:

I'm trying 2 understand it. Who said it was a big deal?

xplnyrslf said:

JustErin said:

Who says they are happy? The ones I speak are not.....

my mother is a very social woman, but she has this tendency to turn down lots of events just to be with us when we got no plans, even though we keep telling her she doesn't have to! and mind you, that we're grown ups!

she has this sense of guilt which i blame my father for.

lots of times he goes out when she's home alone, but when it's the other way around he torments her for it.

so yes i believe there's always some reason to it.

Graycap23 said:

Why would you want to try to understand something that has nothing to do with you really?

Graycap23 said:

Well, in that case. I dunno why they do it.

JustErin said:

Interesting perspective. I like knowing what is going on around me. At all times if possible. Ignorance is NOT bliss.....it's just ignorance.

Empress said:

I feel like even when I'm not all that willing, I'd better damned well do it anyway. I sacrifice everything for my son because that is what I am supposed to do. Not because I enjoy not having a life of my own. It's just not at the top of my list of priorities. When I get very miserable and feel overwhelmed I sometimes get away to do things I want to do. Sometimes I drop him off at his grandparents' house, come home and sleep all day just to recharge. I just try to remember that he won't be this dependent on me forever.

Graycap23 said:

Because they love their kids and enjoy them

Some people do it even after the kids are bigger because they don't know anything else but being a parent, this can get unhealthy

Want to feel needed.

Some don't have a choice.


I absolutely deeply enjoy my sons but every now and then I do need my own space and time and I get it. My deepest fear is to become one of those women who becomes a meddling mother-in-laws; I've experienced it and it ain't pretty

but I have my own dreams and wishes I work on that will not be fullfilled exactly the way I wanted them to be before kids but because I love them so I don't mind my plans adjusting to them instead of the other way around.

I couldn't even devote 5 years not cut out for it