fhqwhgads said:

I understand how absurd this must seem -- I really do. But I'm telling you the absolute truth! And it's not all about the immediate vying for a possibly sexual encounter. "Competition" could be perceived simply in garnering a desirable person's attention, favor, adoration, friendship, etc.

I've seen it happen many times, and it's not only a gay man vs. straight woman thing either...

I have been made aware, for example, that many of my closest friends -- good-looking, strapping straight men I've known my entire life, who know I'm unavailable on like 3 or 4 different levels -- have been leary about bringing their significant others around me because their women have always developed crushes on my ridiculous butt!! I SOOOO shouldn't be a threat, but I am... and I'm nothing special.

I think an irrational sense of threat in the romantic/sexual arena is something to which no group is immune.
[Edited 2/28/08 19:10pm]

fhqwhgads said:

I understand how absurd this must seem -- I really do. But I'm telling you the absolute truth! And it's not all about the immediate vying for a possibly sexual encounter. "Competition" could be perceived simply in garnering a desirable person's attention, favor, adoration, friendship, etc.

I've seen it happen many times, and it's not only a gay man vs. straight woman thing either...

I have been made aware, for example, that many of my closest friends -- good-looking, strapping straight men I've known my entire life, who know I'm unavailable on like 3 or 4 different levels -- have been leary about bringing their significant others around me because their women have always developed crushes on my ridiculous butt!! I SOOOO shouldn't be a threat, but I am... and I'm nothing special.

I think an irrational sense of threat in the romantic/sexual arena is something to which no group is immune.
[Edited 2/28/08 19:10pm]

Lammastide said:

This shit is so out of control that my cousin's husband is jealous of sexual tension between me and her Um, she's a chick dummy! AND my cousin you freak

Lammastide said:

This shit is so out of control that my cousin's husband is jealous of sexual tension between me and her Um, she's a chick dummy! AND my cousin you freak

And here fauxie was trying to say that I made all that shit up.

He's just trying to get you all to think that I really am just a jerk.

JustErin said:

First bit, no (wtf? ), second bit, guilty.

I'm still smarting over the 'shouting incident' in chat.

fhqwhgads said:

HAHAHA.

That was seriously one of the funniest incidents ever.

JustErin said:

No it wasn't!

I was just all 'yeah, yeah, playing along with the joke a bit, a few CAPS, it's all just in jest, Bev knows that' and BAM! Out I go.

If I ever get banned from this site again I feel certain that you will be there involved somehow.

fhqwhgads said:

Not only that, but I won't be banned with you.

It seems to me that one of the real reasons why there is so much argumentativeness between social groups is simply down to the abdication of individual identity, what we think and how we express ourselves in favour of identifying with a particular group. By losing your humanity through a collective identifcation, I think some folks, not just on the Org but in general, fail to recognise the humanity of others that you wouldn't normally socialise with. When you give up your individuality for being in a clique, group or whatever, you also exchange a measure of your own freedom of thought and action for a submission of what appears 'cool' to say, whether it be homophobic, sexist, racist or whatever.

The immediate pay off is security. You feel welcome in a group, relieves you of the troubles of searching for your own identity by giving you some sort of identification, and appeals to your instinct to belong. Everyone wants to deel needed and needs to feel wanted. Not just Erin j/k!

The bigger the groups supported in our current culture, the bigger the trouble I think. I think some folks just think of their group being central to the human cause, other subgroups peripheral to it. Thus you are going to get a lot of sexist, racist, homophobis arseholes the whole world over. Any peace will be at best temporary unless we approach each other as individuals equal in our humanity. Wishful thinking sure but I think that by dividing ourselves into groups inevitiably vcreates inequalities, or the illusion of them.

If you were to stop people and ask on the street, 'What are you?' They'd say something like 'I'm the biggest queen of the parade', 'I'm a recovering alcoholic, 'I'm a lonely housewife' and so on. Very few would just reply 'I'm a human being'.

Without wanting to go on to much like I'm some kind of hippy, if we could also answer that way, with all honesty, accepting our own uniqueness, we could approach others without conflict. I think the trick is just to be happy in accepting who we are and stuff what other people think.

meow85 said:

OK I better not even be on this list because those are all the things that piss me off about men's attitude towards women! I advocate against all those things.

But that wedding ring shit sure makes people crazy though

One thing that bugs me is some of them have a deep disgust for the female body.

If female sex is even mentioned I've witnessed many gay guys being all "EWWWWW! GROSSS!!!!!" about it.

Gee, thanks.

It seems to me that one of the real reasons why there is so much argumentativeness between social groups is simply down to the abdication of individual identity, what we think and how we express ourselves in favour of identifying with a particular group. By losing your humanity through a collective identifcation, I think some folks, not just on the Org but in general, fail to recognise the humanity of others that you wouldn't normally socialise with. When you give up your individuality for being in a clique, group or whatever, you also exchange a measure of your own freedom of thought and action for a submission of what appears 'cool' to say, whether it be homophobic, sexist, racist or whatever.

The immediate pay off is security. You feel welcome in a group, relieves you of the troubles of searching for your own identity by giving you some sort of identification, and appeals to your instinct to belong. Everyone wants to deel needed and needs to feel wanted. Not just Erin j/k!

The bigger the groups supported in our current culture, the bigger the trouble I think. I think some folks just think of their group being central to the human cause, other subgroups peripheral to it. Thus you are going to get a lot of sexist, racist, homophobis arseholes the whole world over. Any peace will be at best temporary unless we approach each other as individuals equal in our humanity. Wishful thinking sure but I think that by dividing ourselves into groups inevitiably vcreates inequalities, or the illusion of them.

If you were to stop people and ask on the street, 'What are you?' They'd say something like 'I'm the biggest queen of the parade', 'I'm a recovering alcoholic, 'I'm a lonely housewife' and so on. Very few would just reply 'I'm a human being'.

Without wanting to go on to much like I'm some kind of hippy, if we could also answer that way, with all honesty, accepting our own uniqueness, we could approach others without conflict. I think the trick is just to be happy in accepting who we are and stuff what other people think.

fhqwhgads said:

I understand how absurd this must seem -- I really do. But I'm telling you the absolute truth! And it's not all about the immediate vying for a possibly sexual encounter. "Competition" could be perceived simply in garnering a desirable person's attention, favor, adoration, friendship, etc.

I've seen it happen many times, and it's not only a gay man vs. straight woman thing either...

I have been made aware, for example, that many of my closest friends -- good-looking, strapping straight men I've known my entire life, who know I'm unavailable on like 3 or 4 different levels -- have been leary about bringing their significant others around me because their women have always developed crushes on my ridiculous butt!! I SOOOO shouldn't be a threat, but I am... and I'm nothing special.

I think an irrational sense of threat in the romantic/sexual arena is something to which no group is immune.
[Edited 2/28/08 19:10pm]

It seems to me that one of the real reasons why there is so much argumentativeness between social groups is simply down to the abdication of individual identity, what we think and how we express ourselves in favour of identifying with a particular group. By losing your humanity through a collective identifcation, I think some folks, not just on the Org but in general, fail to recognise the humanity of others that you wouldn't normally socialise with. When you give up your individuality for being in a clique, group or whatever, you also exchange a measure of your own freedom of thought and action for a submission of what appears 'cool' to say, whether it be homophobic, sexist, racist or whatever.

The immediate pay off is security. You feel welcome in a group, relieves you of the troubles of searching for your own identity by giving you some sort of identification, and appeals to your instinct to belong. Everyone wants to deel needed and needs to feel wanted. Not just Erin j/k!

The bigger the groups supported in our current culture, the bigger the trouble I think. I think some folks just think of their group being central to the human cause, other subgroups peripheral to it. Thus you are going to get a lot of sexist, racist, homophobis arseholes the whole world over. Any peace will be at best temporary unless we approach each other as individuals equal in our humanity. Wishful thinking sure but I think that by dividing ourselves into groups inevitiably vcreates inequalities, or the illusion of them.

If you were to stop people and ask on the street, 'What are you?' They'd say something like 'I'm the biggest queen of the parade', 'I'm a recovering alcoholic, 'I'm a lonely housewife' and so on. Very few would just reply 'I'm a human being'.

Without wanting to go on to much like I'm some kind of hippy, if we could also answer that way, with all honesty, accepting our own uniqueness, we could approach others without conflict. I think the trick is just to be happy in accepting who we are and stuff what other people think.

I'm sorry, I don't buy it.

Lammastide said:

This shit is so out of control that my cousin's husband is jealous of sexual tension between me and her Um, she's a chick dummy! AND my cousin you freak

I've ever seen are coming from the ghey men.

I'm not just talking about the odd joke, which is cool in the right context, but I mean outright insulting and denigrating ideas and attitudes about women and female bodies. I'm not accusing anyone here, but hey, we all get that's not what you're into, guys.

So what gives?

I know the planet's abundant with redneck asshole straight men, but I've personally never encountered any straight guy that could match the bile spewed by certain homos towards women.


Anyone care to give a crack at why? Because I sure don't know.

meow85 said:

That really should be your signature.

As far as the topic of the thread goes...I have noticed gay men being extrememly mysogynistic at times and have found it hurtful. I used to work in a neighborhood that was mostly inhabited by gay men so most of our clients were gay as were my superiors. I often heard some of the most vile things about women come out of the mouths of gay men.

On the flip side...my mother is a lesbian and her partner has said some of the most vile things about men that I have ever heard. Many of her friends share these views and don't see men as being necessary for anything and can't wait for the day that women don't have to be artificially inseminated with sperm. I am not kidding or exaggerating. As a woman who is attracted exclusively to men, I often found many of their opinions hurtful as well.

I don't know about this whole secret war between gay men and lesbians but I think that both "sides" say equally hurtful things about the opposite gender. I also think that this has to do with a mixture of jealously, self-loathing, and genuine annoyance.

I find it obnoxious and wish it would stop.