ehuffnsd said:

I'm sorry, I don't buy it. You don't have to be out to learn to function like a decent human being. Sexuality is only a part of who you are, not the entire sphere of your being. Not having figured out your sexuality or not having yet been open about it should not preclude someone from interacting with their peers and developing social skills.

hmmm. i have had gay male friends since early adulthood.... none of them have ever given me the feeling they hate me...

"What's wrong with being sexy?"

JustErin said:

You know this and I know this, but do you really think a young penis thinks this far?

violator said:

yup

meow85 said:

but it's true. you spend the first 18 years of your life hiding who you are, and than the next 5-10 years trying to figure out who you are and how you fit into the greater scheme of things.

meow85 said:

Maybe it's because you call them "Homos"?

Mars23 said:

She corrected it later.

violator said:[quote]

Mars23 said:

we're more lavendar than lilac.

ehuffnsd said:

Nope. And I never even implied that this was the case.

The gay community where I live actually venture out into non-gay exclusive environments.
[Edited 2/28/08 13:38pm]

JustErin said:

it was my misunderstanding

Just have a look at the way women are talked about on gossip blogs (the majority of the owners/bloggers are gay). Who knows? Maybe these gossip blogs encourage it even more from gay men? But then again gossip blogs seems to take everyone's standards down about 10 notches....

All I know is in today's society men are put on a pedestal by men, women and gay men, while women are constantly derided for anything and everything they do.

Why do you think the paparazzi stalk mainly female celebrities? There's something different about watching women fall?

Imago said:

I'd say it's not so secret... the first time I attended a pride event within minutes of walking into the park I heard a butch dyke call a passing waif of a gay man dressed up in glitter and prancing about a "fucking fairy" with so much venom I couldn't believe it. This was no joking around, either.

Back in the day, when gay bars were still very men-only in Amsterdam, I used to go out with FRIENDS. Not caring about sex or sexuality. And I noticed some anti-woman behaviour in some of the gay guys, often the most campy out there.
I could never pin-point it, so I stopped going to those bars.

By now, most bars except hardcore bars are mixed, which creates a more healthy atmosphere anyways.

CarrieMpls said:

I was treated rather rudely by on several occasions by butch dykes in the lesbian bar.

And contrary to popular belief, I'm not very feminine in real life. I think it was just the fact I had a penis that made her so hostile to me.

First of all, I have to say my gay male friends are some of the nearest and dearest. I have found them to be very open to female friendship and I love these people in my life and they love me.

Having said that, I do have one particular friend who is still somewhat closeted, or has never exactly come to terms with or accepted his sexuality. It's very under the cover and rarely sees the light, but I have noticed he has a revulsion to female sexuality, and female biology and I feel there's some misogyny in there -- whether it has to do with his relationship with his mother or what, I don't know. But it's disturbing.

And about lesbians -- yes they can be completely anti-male and exclusive. And as a straight woman, I was shocked to be dropped by several friends when they determined I was not lesbian.

This is a danger with any group that isolates itself, such as certain countries created only for people of one religion or ethnic stream. It's false. I think we're here to understand difference and not surround ourselves with people who are only like us.

HamsterHuey said:

That's it. Diversity is healthy.

Interesting thread.
My first, pc knee-jerk reaction, was no, you're being ridiculous.

But then as I read the thread I came to the realization that most of my friends are straight (men and women) and lesbians. And I think that's because I came out in my late twenties. The amount of gay male friends I have, I can count on one hand. I'm not comfortable in gay bars if there are no women around. I'm just not. It seems very stepford-wife, creepy, twilight zonish to me. I never really understood why but maybe I'm just scared of the bitchy attitude. Afraid of my temper blowing up if that shit is ever directed at me. But the catty nastiness is really something that irritates me. I remember my friend Tommy inviting me to a party because I had complained to him that I wanted more gay male friends; a gay man community if you will. After the phone call where he invited me, he made a point of telling me not to bring any women. I went and stayed for probably ten minutes. And the men I've dated in the past always had a mean word for my roommate. Who is the most amazing woman alive! One of them finally admitted, years later, that he was jealous of her. And there is the whole "ick" factor element when it comes to girl sex and girl body parts, I've heard it ad naseum. But then these same gay dudes cry out homophobia when some straight dude voices his discomfort with say, the idea of butt-sex.

So who knows, but yeah, I think you might be right.

ehuffnsd said:

oh HELL no.

if you're stating what you feel is a factual generality, please leave THIS little hippie 'mo out of the equation!

some of my closest and most reliable friendships have been with gay women, and i feel lucky that more often than not, i've had the good fortune to gravitate toward social circles that don't put up walls between boys and girls. everyone likes each other, male/female, gay/straight, etc., based on what a person brings to the table as an individual.

as for gynophobic gay men, i've always thought of it as a case of "the mary doth protest too much". i think gay dudes rant and rave about smelly kootchies and fish-stank and whatever as a kind of bravado, to prove to other gay men just how non-hetero they are. i think it shows a kind of insecurity, definitely.

meow85 said:

OK I better not even be on this list because those are all the things that piss me off about men's attitude towards women! I advocate against all those things.

But that wedding ring shit sure makes people crazy though

ehuffnsd said:

My world is almost entirely woman based, except my sex life I couldn't survive without them.

meow85 said:[quote]

ehuffnsd said:

Not from my experience AT. ALL. I have almost universally been treated like a leper in lesbian crowds, for nothing more than being male. There is a general attitude that lesbians are really turned off to queens with the mindset that we need to act like men. Heard the comment, seen the disdain. I have always been open to lesbians but I found it's not the other way around. Even in friendly circles, I always had to break through a barrier with friends of friends. You'd think because we had a certain friend in common that this would lead to a more open atmoshere but that wasn't often the case. Of course this is not all but more often than not

JustErin said:

I know it is

Anxiety said:

I think this is absolutely true.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

you all must have some hardcore thunderdome harsh-ass lesbians out west. i was a total dyke-tyke when i lived in NYC.

JustErin said:

That's because the LESBOS. WANT. IN. YOUR. PANTS! And the gay guys are jealous of your hotness. I am But historically have I not been nice to you?

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

even if it's not supa's fault, it's always a safe guess.

Anxiety said:

We must. It could even be that I hung in gang circles at one point Cholas were always my protectors growing up but when I started partying with the gay cholas, there was hardcore brillo shit goin on I think though that it was really the diesels that were jealous of my ability to have a relationship with their girlfriends. Something that they, like many straight men, aren't able to do without struggle and fight

Anxiety said:

Hey, just tryin out my material for my future radio show

One thing that bugs me is some of them have a deep disgust for the female body.

If female sex is even mentioned I've witnessed many gay guys being all "EWWWWW! GROSSS!!!!!" about it.

Gee, thanks.