Rhondab said:

I used to think this way, and I always have been cheated on, I have not stolen or taken anybody's man yet, but now I really do not care anymore, when you are honest, you still get treated bad. Never pushed up on a man that has a woman, but if a man pushes up on me now, I will allow it.

I just see things differently now, I do not want marriage anymore, and I just want to have fun. If he's on the same page so be it, blood tests included.

paintedlady said:

Girl, that sounds like you feel defeated and giving in.

On the real, go for what ya know. We just disagree and that's ok.

Rhondab said:

I am...

just show me one honest man that doesn't shop around for new coochie while he is with a current woman and unhappy, and holding on so that he can still screw .....and I will change my mind. Just tired of dishonesty.

Rhondab said:

This ain't about my ass ....but nice try though!!!!

DexMSR said:

you're participating it the topic AND agreeing with a point of view...don't try to back out now....



I'll let Erykah speak.....

BOOTY~

SCNDLS said:

Well damn, I just got back to the thread and didn't know my damned self that we got here -But it's a great discussion, I ended up speaking to a lot of women about this topic today. There are a lot of different voices to this story, it appears.

All I can say to Painted Lady is, ummm...OKAY, then, Girl! If that's how you roll, that's how you roll. Be happy and have fun with fucking somebody's man... hard .

For me I try to look at any and everyone involved in a romantic scenario and be as respectful as I can possibly be to what they are together. The way I was raised, my mom and dad explained to me that when a man and a woman have a history together, whether or not they're going through hard times, their bond shouldn't be belittled or dismissed.

However, I also think it's definitley possible for people to reach out to others sexually when the pressures of life overtake them. We live in a fast paced world, pulled further and further apart from loved ones by work, social obligations, being bombarded with technological diversions to shorten our already miniscule attention spans. Affairs do happen. Sometimes it's that quick fix a person needs to suddenly feel alive again. Sadly once reality sets in though, someone in the triangle will inevitably get hurt. Doesn't that count for something when we consciously choose who we're fucking....hard?

I just wonder, all razor jokes aside, don't you also feel there's something unsavory about a man that would consciously seek out another woman when he's already involved with someone else? Mind you, Im not talking about the accidental who knew it would happen scenario vs. the Bluebeard archetype fucker who consciously stalks the proverbial hapless maiden.... For those who don't know... newsflash--- he is a predator, with no respect for ANY woman, and there is no magic pussy on this earth that will make him otherwise, or love his latest conquest more than any other--- knowing this, why would a woman give an ingrate like that the time of day, let alone her yoni...?

Ottensen said:

My motto: If a nucca will cheat wit cha, he'll cheat ON ya.

Ottensen said:

Yes Ottensen, I already know and understand all that you say, but men are just not honest.

I do not want marriage, just a man that is honest, and just tell me the truth.
I have not found and honest man yet, only those that are in open relationships, which is terrifying.

I do not want to disrespect someone's relationship, if he loves her I'll step, but just because a man has a girlfriend, doesn't mean that it is a deep relationship, or that he even loves her. Most BF/GF relationships are usually not that deep, if one is and I see the signs, I have no problems stepping away.

This is all still new to me BTW, since I myself have just stepped away from an 18yr. on/off relationship, and many women have pushed up on him, two who were close friends to us. I have changed and my heart has hardened, like I said I rather he be honest, than lie and I find out later that he hurt someone,... so that I can decide if he is worth it.

paintedlady said:

seriously? i'm in one (a relationship that isn't open). my parents had one before they were married...
[Edited 2/28/08 16:40pm]

evenstar said:

No need to be condescending, I am 36 and not looking to fuck a kid or a homeless man. When I was your age it was easy for me too, the world was lovely for me but we are not all in your or your parents situation.Happy for you. Try being a single mother of three and get back to me on that...

paintedlady said:

dude, i wasn't trying to be condescending at all. i'm just saying not all men are into open relationships? again, i don't see where age has anything to do with this though, young people cheat just as much as older ones.

evenstar said:

Yes but as you get older you have fewer choices since most people in my age group tend to be already married. So you do the best you can with who ever you can find that isn't married, or sporting heroin tracks. So far my pickings are very slim. I wish that I did have more choices.

paintedlady said:

The avenues for meeting new people are out there, especially with the advent of internet communities where you can proactively choose people who share your same interests, goals, and values. Just keep an open mind, an open heart, be relentlessly honest with yourself while demanding no less of the people you meet. Out of the 6 billion people on this earth I know there is an honest man, or 5 or 10 or 20 out there who is a stress free, no-baggage, perfect match for you

Rhondab said:[quote]

DexMSR said:

you're participating it the topic AND agreeing with a point of view...don't try to back out now....

Back out of what? This is about YOU and your attraction....not mine. You know you can take him...but won't....that's up to you!

Rhondab said:

I do not purposely set out to help a guy cheat on his wife or girlfriend but it has happened. I think folks would be amazed at the number of men willing to cheat.

How would I feel if a guy cheated on me? I'd leave him and take the love I felt for him with me.

If a man cheats on you it is more than likely because he is not getting something at home from his lady/wife/partner what have you.

Most men cannot communicate (rasing my hand) and will resort to attempting to get it, get turned away or rejected and just get frustrated. Thus going to get it from an external source. It does not mean the relationship is bad...it just needs work on being totally and completely fulfilling.

Now ladies....we need nurturing in the communication department. I know we are not wired for talking. I like a conversation, but I am not a talker. And my silence is mistaken for "I don't give a fuck" way too much...

We need help in communicating and it is the root of most marital/relationship issues.

DexMSR said:[quote]

Rhondab said:

Dex, throughout the thread, you've been and WHAPpin' folks with whom you agree with. I'm just pointing out...with your commentary that "its just a girlfriend, not a wife" that you don't believe in marriage. So your "just a girlfriend" is up for grabs...right?

I wasn't making anything about ME but about the topic at hand...


punk.

Stymie said:

There's a difference if you met a dude and he doesn't tell you that he's in a relationship but if there is a guy who tells you that he's in a relationship but is willing to cheat, and you agree to it.....ugh.

That's all I'm saying.

DexMSR said:

Please add to this:

Some men WILL comminucate with their girlfriends/wives and still not get what they want or need. SOME women tend to use sex as a weapon against their men.

paintedlady said:

Damn, bitter and negative much? Your reply to evenstar comes off as far more condescending than hers could have - but I think you know that.

And lest you dismiss me as another young idealist, I was a 28-year-old single mother of two when I met my current partner. He is the love of my life and I couldn't be happier. The thing is, I found ways to be happy as a single person while I waited for him to come along, instead of focusing on all the "not-the-one"s who crossed my path in the meantime.

FunkMistress said:

Did that make you feel better? Pot meet kettle....
and no I am not bitter, just down a little,and I know that there is a season for everything, this too will pass.

Who says I wasn't happy as a single person? Do not assume that I am miserable, I am single by choice, I choose to stay single because I am choosy, and I want to find the right person to share with.

If my response to evenstar was too harsh, she would have told me so. She is too outspoken and smart, to need you for her babysitter, she's a big girl now and she will be OK. If she was hurt then all she has to do is say so, I have no problems pulling back and apologizing if I hurt someone's feelings.


I am just being real with my situation, many women feel this way, so its not up to you or anyone else to pass me of as bitter,and negative, it is what it is. I actually have a positive outlook on my life as a single woman, I just want to meet men like me and have fun.

paintedlady said:

Your response WAS bitter and negative. And I'd love to babysit evenstar, but I'm not allowed to date girls anymore.

FunkMistress said:

If he really loves you.....

FunkMistress said:

DAMNIT. selfish chris.

paintedlady said:

Ah, it's okay. I just reverse the tables in my mind, and remember that my possessive ass would chop a motherfucker's dick off if he tried to touch my honey, so...

All's fair in love and internets.

Rhondab said:

I'm just tryn to get PAID!!!!

Stymie said:

Whap!

So um.....does ANYONE want me to give a message to my boy?

DexMSR said:

Yeah, that hairline in "Madea's Family Reunion" was FUCKED UP. It started at your eyebrows. Don't do that again.