U swear is Happy being miserable?
I have a couple, one in particular drives me batty. She's a lovely woman really, we have known each other for many many years, but she is ALWAYS Miserable.
She just told me she is feeling badly depressed again and for the 100th time I told her to get some professional help...she really does need it.
She told me there is no point and she dosent really care
I told her" Well, way to not fix anything"
She went on idle


There are times when I feel like she wants to be this way for the drama, but I worry about her and her kids

i hope 4 her sake she eventually gets help.

If you keep hearing the same thing be there when you can but don't let her suck you in. Don't offer anymore help. She knows what to do and its only up to her to make that move. Sounds harsh but sometimes it takes a removal of the crutch to make people stand on their own.

you said the right thing. i mean, i've got chronic depression and yet i can
still manage to talk to people without constantly adressing my own feelings
or depressed state of mind.

if she's really feeling that bad she'd crawl to the doctor if she had to

anyways, whatever her true feelings, there comes a point where you just can
not bear to hear someone complain for the 1000th time when they never take
your advice or aren't willing to do anything about the stuff they complain
about.

I've had friends like that. Hell I'VE been like that.

I don't know if it's so much being happy to be miserable, or even wanting to be miserable. I think that at for some of us there are times when we just do not know how to not be miserable. We can hold on to pain and sort of cherish it. And sort of fool ourselves into thinking that we're deeper and live life on a more profound level because of it. Yes, pain can help us to grow, but not if all it grows is more pain or perpetuates itself because we can't let go of what's happened, or look at every situation from a place of pain and despair and hopelessness. I've seen it happen to people I know. I've done it myself. And every teenage goth/emo kid out there.

Then again, there are points in our lives when all we have to hold on to is pain and misery and it can get us through, keep us alive and feeling something/anything until we can work through it and feel other aspects of life.


Blah. Emotional diarrhea. Nevermind me.

Raze said:

chillichocaholic said:

I have a friend just like that! She dwells on everything and always drags her kids and her closest friends into her misery. It got to a point where she was taking over my life - I was always there trying to help her 24/7 making myself miserable to, until one day I couldnt take anymore and decided to get my life back. Dont get me wrong I was still there for her, but put myself first for a change - needless to say she didnt like it and just got worse, no matter what I did for her it was never enough!
Anyway, now I keep my distance - it was dragging me down - I just feel that sometimes, some ppl have to hold on to something even if it makes em completley unhappy and dont want to be helped! Its sometimes best to watch from a distance and let them sort themselves out!
I'll stop ranting on now!

It's hard to dig yourself out from depression. I was there and it really didn't matter what anyone said to me I just didn't want to bother doing anything. Everything was too hard or not worth the effort. And advice from people really offended me (it's still does). It's rough. I didn't want to be miserable, I was just so used to it that I just assumed there was nothing that could be done about it.
Personally, seeking professional 'help' was not good for me. It was a waste of time and money. And I just slowly (very slowly) dug myself out from under. And I still have my low-feeling days sometimes. Your friend is gonna have to handle her situation herself. People around me just stopped listening to my whining. They just refused to. It made me mad but that anger was the energy I needed to straighten my ass up.

prb said:

Yes. I do have a friend like that and sometimes I have to distance myself from her. I get sick of hearing her complain about how fat and ugly she thinks she is. At first I was willing to tell her how that's not true but now I just keep my mouth shut in hopes she'll stop fishing for compliments. I have learned that complaining about myself like that is NOT attractive and have tried to stop doing it.

I feel like our conversations are always the same. Usually it's about how some guy doesn't want to put up with her because she's whiny but if she were hot he'd put up with her. I just want to say "GROW UP! The world is unfair like that. Stop victimizing yourself and get over it!" But I don't. I have said something along the lines of "you're too sensitive" and she sent me an email about how rude I was and semi threatened to end our friendship. It's now to the point that I have to bite my tongue every time I talk to her because I don't know what's going to rub her the wrong way. She's big on complaining about something for 3 days straight but doesn't want "unwanted advice". So I just have to listen without giving my two cents. Listening is part of being a good friend but I can only take so much!

I've been there. I've been the miserable friend and I just sucked everything into my dark cloud and it actually took someone leaving my life because of it and it might be hard to do that to a friend but sometimes that's what it takes for your own protection. I didn't love the misery but it's all I began to know and as stated from someone else the anger of my friend walking away from me really drove me to save myself. slowly but surely, I'm not perfect but I make the effort to stop my thoughts when they start to lead in that old direction. I do my best never to complain to the people around me now I always say I'm 'doing ok' even if I'm miserable that day, they don't need to know it, I consume myself with what they're doing if I can't handle my own just then.
Not to say you can never have a bad day and vent to a close friend because otherwise what good are they? and you should be able to listen to your friends vent but you also gotta know when to press pause and move away if someone's going to constantly drag their unhappy situations all over you.
My worst nightmare is to think people see me as some sort of energy vampire

chillichocaholic said:

yeah.. i do know a few .. i try helpin' but .. only so much u can do for them

Yep I certainly have

Damn straight, the world is full of people that live to moan and bitch, they are truly not happy unless they feel downtrodden or shit uppon.