What is the best way to reject you because you smoke?

Over the years, I have tried dating smokers and each time I have thought I could get over it because I was really attracted to the person and I hate smoking so much that I always end up resenting them for it. Back when there was smoking in the bars, I used to wake up in the middle of the night gasping for air. Because I am physically affected and can't breathe around a lot of smoke or immediate smoke, it's not just a nuisance. I actually can't breathe and that is kind of important.

Anyway, I generally steer clear of smokers even if I'm attracted because I know how I will eventually feel. Now I have hooked up with smokers for sex and I usually keep that pretty minimal too because I don't like the taste of smoking and I can make an exception but a habit I can't do for the same reason....resentment. I really don't know how to tell someone my issues without feeling like I am totally offending them.

What kind of answer would you want to hear if I was to give a reason why I no longer wanted to date/have sex?

This is one of those deal breaker type questions, Richard.

How about, I can't date a smoker?

CarrieMpls said:

Really? But would you think I'm evil? Is it evil? I'm trying not to be evil

I kissed a girl who smoked once. I was shock that she actually tasted like cigarettes

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

I wouldn't find it evil at all. It's honest.

CarrieMpls said:

Well I'm in So Cal. You know these vapid bitches can't handle the truth!

OK, I need more answers!

AS a smoker, when i've dated non-smokers in the past, i've made it a personal rule to be as considerate and as non-smoker-y around the person i'm dating as i possibly can. of course, i'm not a big smoker - i go through a pack a week, and it's relatively easy for me to go a couple of days without smoking if i have to. but when i knew i was meeting my non-smoker bf for dinner or for a night together, i wouldn't smoke after i got ready to go. i would brush my teeth and freshen my breath. i never smoke in my home - always on a porch or back steps - so i made sure my clothes didn't stink like a pool hall. why? because i cared about the person i was dating and i wanted to look and smell nice for them.

my point in saying all this is, if the person you're seeing is this considerate and he's not all stank and you're dumping him simply because you KNOW he's a smoker, then yes, i think you're evil.

but if you're tired of doing the humpty hump with someone who smells like marge simpson's twin sisters, then i think you're totally within your right to move on before things get any more involved.

i'm sure there are gross lapses in logic in this response. ignore them.

Anxiety said:

Well I am totally OK with dating the occassional smoker. Like when at a bar drinking or once in a while. It's just that I don't like making out with Marge's sisters

Anxiety said:

I would like to point out, I do all of those things also. Brush the teeth, carry mints, avoid smoking on dates. All of it.
But, being that I'm an addict, I'm gonna be like Carrie in Sex and the City running out of a restaurant after an 8 hour date dying for a cigarette if I can't smoke around someone at all EVER. And I guess I'm at an age where, if someone KNOWS things can't be serious or long term with me, there's not a lot of point... I know I couldn't get along with, say, a hardcore Christian longterm. It's just not gonna work. So I wouldn't bother dating them, or would likely stop dating them as soon as I found out.

CarrieMpls said:

But what if that hardcore Xtian is HOT and you know you wanna ride a few times and then get off the train. See, I feel like I would be making them feel self concious and like guilty, and that isn't where I'm coming from.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Yeah, I don't go for train rides just for the fun of it anymore. It's about the destination for me.

But if that's all you're after, wouldn't you be upfront about that anyway?

CarrieMpls said:

yeah, it's not like i've ever tried to HIDE that i'm a smoker (ok, who am i kidding, i KNOW i've done that in the past ), but during the "getting to know you" phase, i think it's considerate to put my best foot forward and be considerate. when i've gotten more serious with someone, i usually just eased them into my little addiction and they got more used to me excusing myself for a smoke now and then, and at the same time i still made a point to be as mindful and considerate as possible. and really, dating a non-smoker helped me cut back on my habit. well, sometimes.

but yeah, i know what you mean - there have also been times when i've known that the dating situation i'm in is completely doomed but they were cute and we were both bored so we enjoyed it for every little thing it was worth then moved on. nothing wrong with that!

CarrieMpls said:

Well yeah, I'm thinkin more and more of actually living in the palace instead of visiting Well I guess I'm kind of learning to be open and up front, as hard as that might be for you to believe considering my big gigantic mouth But I am really trying to correct this part of myself. I just want to know the thing that sounds the best because I have dated some really incredible people who happened to smoke and it kills it everytime and I don't want to treat the smoker like I want to treat their cigs

Don't let anything get started in the first place. Knowing it's probably going to be a problem (if it always has been every other time!) then you're effectively messing someone around if not. Not really your fault, but still, it's not like you don't know you hate it.

Fauxie said:

Well see, if it is just sex, I want to be able to fire at will without the complications of being a reasonable boss

"There are 2 things you can smoke, but you can't smoke both".

i once had to turn down a date with someone because they were wearing air jordans.

i mean, you know - we all have our standards. don't be ashamed of what you just plain don't like, and if it's attached to someone who's totally fucktacular, well - you gotta figure out which is the priority!

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Then just make it clear it's just sex. You don't have to give a reason at all for that.

In fact, it's probably better if you didn't.

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

...



...Ya know youse wannit.



tA

Tribal Disorder

http://www.soundclick.com...dID=182431

CarrieMpls said:

That makes me feel like a black widow

SupaFunkyOrgangrinderSexy said:

Why?

If that's all you're looking for, why not be honest about it? It's much more appreciated than manipulating someone's feelings in exchange for sex.

CarrieMpls said:

Oh I'm not maniuplating anyone, I just don't say anything Mime, that's it, I like playing Mime!!!

Ya'll r trippin' out...what'z goin' on SUPA my friend? Will I ever meet u? ,,,as far as the smokin' thing though...u feel how u do because it affectz ur breathin', which is most important...just let them know how it iz, with tack...? Later on 0)+> MUAH

org me SUPA?

Anxiety said:

They must have been looking FLY.

Mars23 said:

your thread today totally reminded me of that incident

The deal breaker for me and one I've been wanting to float on the org is:

Why do smokers feel like it is OK to throw butts out the window?

If I ever end up choking a random person, read the article and you'll find it was because I saw them throw a cigarette out the window of their car.

I don't wanna jack the thread, but DAMN. It drives me nuts.

I have felt so superficial and self-righteous choosing not to date smokers. But it's just something I cannot get past. And I realized it's more than just smelling smoke. It's the whole asthetic. It's such an unattractive look to me. And I catch hell over it, as about 75% of my friends are smokers. But I can't help it.

I tried once, ONCE, dating a girl who smoked. And as it goes, I think she was relatively considerate about it. She almost never smoked around me. I rarely ever smelled any cigarette smoke on her. But ultimately, it seemed to be such a strain on her. And I started feeling like a shit putting her through all of it (even though, technically, I never asked her to make any considerations for me).

Then there were the very rare occasions when I did get the smells from her clothing or in her kiss and it just turned me off. Completely.

violator said:

See, this is how it makes me feel too and I don't want someone thinking or believing that when it is just totally NOT TRUE! Ask MiguelGomez! He was awake when I woke up dying because some particulate matter in Muse's house was killing me in my sleep!

My main issue is my breathing. Around casual smoke It's OK but consentrated and or really close proximity like floating right into my face from 2 feet away, there are issues. The taste thing really depends on the brand. The taste of some cigarettes I cannot tolerate no matter if the man is God in the flesh. Some I really don't mind but then it comes back to the fact that my lungs turn into Lots wife