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PrintableINSATIABLE said: Byron said: According to that World Clock shown on another thread it's 1 in 5 lol  ...It's be much higher if it were a "western world" clock.
Yeah, we need more forced marriages and "punishable by death" divorce laws in the U.S.  ... | |
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Byron said: My question would be:
What are the benefits to having the institution of marriage established within any society? (not talking about government-issued benefits like tax breaks or what-not). For the sake of argument, define "marriage" as any two people entering into a committed, monogamous relationship by way of ceremony and symbolism (symbolism being, for example, wedding rings or a woman taking her husband's last name, something like that). Doesn't have to be the generally acknowledged ceremonies and symbolisms, nor does the ceremony need to be one that is government or religion sanctioned. Is there any benefit at all to society to encourage these types of relationships? Only thing I can think of is that it might benefit children to have parents in a committed monogamous relationship. But I don't know this as a fact... | |
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"Marriage is a great institution for people who like institutions." | |
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Slave2daGroove said: "Marriage is a great institution for people who like institutions."
Classic!!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
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Byron said: My question would be:
What are the benefits to having the institution of marriage established within any society? (not talking about government-issued benefits like tax breaks or what-not). The family, I think ultimately it benefits society by providing a secure environment for children, BUT some marriages are hell and children suffer a great deal but if we're being optimistic here I think it provides stability and security. For the sake of argument, define "marriage" as any two people entering into a committed, monogamous relationship by way of ceremony and symbolism (symbolism being, for example, wedding rings or a woman taking her husband's last name, something like that). Doesn't have to be the generally acknowledged ceremonies and symbolisms, nor does the ceremony need to be one that is government or religion sanctioned. Is there any benefit at all to society to encourage these types of relationships? I think there is, firstly society should encourage mutual respect within a relationship above all else, then if two people want to marry to establish a bond that represents commitment, they should be encouraged. | |
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Slave2daGroove said: "Marriage is a great institution for people who like institutions." Says the guy getting married in months.
Why are you doing it, Chris? | |
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Stymie said: Slave2daGroove said: "Marriage is a great institution for people who like institutions." Says the guy getting married in months.
Why are you doing it, Chris? Waiting on this answer.....TAX BREAKS!!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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Slave2daGroove said: "Marriage is a great institution for people who like institutions."
Yep. And therefore, they should be committed. | |
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DexMSR said: Mach said: I really feel almost insulted when you group us all together under your blanket statements - I understand your comments though I for one am deeply greatful for the created ( self ) ritual my husband and I intentionally took part of as a celebration or our love and life together  So I'm "a sheep"  whateverYou've been around long enough to know how I post my thoughts up in here baby! If it doesn't apply...ignore it or defend it...you choose.  I know - and I love you  | |
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DexMSR said: Stymie said: Says the guy getting married in months.
Why are you doing it, Chris? Waiting on this answer.....TAX BREAKS!!!
I met her. I kow why he's doing it. 
I just wanna hear him say it again. | |
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Mach said: DexMSR said: You've been around long enough to know how I post my thoughts up in here baby! If it doesn't apply...ignore it or defend it...you choose. I know - and I love you I love you more!
Whap!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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Mach said: Stymie said: Somewhere in between? I hear sacred and I think religious. Redundant doesn't work for me either.
Sacred = Worthy of respect; venerable > ( Commanding respect by virtue of age, dignity, character, or position. ) Marriage is not a necessary but looking at this definition I do see it as something sacred between two people. other people? that really doesn't matter. it takes alot of hard work to compromise and accept some one unconditionally-and live with it. it can never be redundant lol. | |
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INSATIABLE said: Byron said: According to that World Clock shown on another thread it's 1 in 5 lol ...It'd be much higher if it were a "western world" clock.
And definitely, Llee.  I think people just consider marriage something they have to accomplish in life to live up to their own standards and expectations. Maybe they just think it's the 'thing to do' because they're with their partners for a certain amount of time.
It's partnership and a fear of being alone that drives many, surely. The fear of going through life without a significant other is a status/social fear. After all, older singles tend to be 'oddballs' in many a head. [Edited 2/15/08 10:31am] People DO marry for those reasons, agreed. But I think the fear of being alone also applies to relationships in general and not just marriage, i.e teenagers who have to have a girlfriend/boyfriend because otherwise theyre considered strange or odd etc. Some people have to be in a relationship no matter what, and I agree, those people will marry due to fear. But some peoplel just want to be together in a committed relatiosnhip. I dont profess to have any answers..being only married for 5 months. | |
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LleeLlee said: INSATIABLE said: It'd be much higher if it were a "western world" clock.
And definitely, Llee. I think people just consider marriage something they have to accomplish in life to live up to their own standards and expectations. Maybe they just think it's the 'thing to do' because they're with their partners for a certain amount of time.
It's partnership and a fear of being alone that drives many, surely. The fear of going through life without a significant other is a status/social fear. After all, older singles tend to be 'oddballs' in many a head. [Edited 2/15/08 10:31am] People DO marry for those reasons, agreed. But I think the fear of being alone also applies to relationships in general and not just marriage, i.e teenagers who have to have a girlfriend/boyfriend because otherwise theyre considered strange or odd etc. Some people have to be in a relationship no matter what, and I agree, those people will marry due to fear. But some peoplel just want to be together in a committed relatiosnhip. I dont profess to have any answers..being only married for 5 months. How did it feel calling your husband your "husband" for the first time? lol ... | |
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Byron said: LleeLlee said: People DO marry for those reasons, agreed. But I think the fear of being alone also applies to relationships in general and not just marriage, i.e teenagers who have to have a girlfriend/boyfriend because otherwise theyre considered strange or odd etc. Some people have to be in a relationship no matter what, and I agree, those people will marry due to fear. But some peoplel just want to be together in a committed relatiosnhip. I dont profess to have any answers..being only married for 5 months. How did it feel calling your husband your "husband" for the first time? lol ...Very strange.. ..still getting used to it. | |
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LleeLlee said: Discuss
Personally I err on the side of the former (and always have if two people marry for the right reasons)
You? ,, [Edited 2/15/08 9:42am] both | |
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I have been married for 24 years, in august my husband and I will celebrate our Silver Aniversary!!  I am visualizing a lil old couple instead of these two cool cats. 
Marraige may not be for everyone, but it suits me just fine. | |
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Although I am not married, I've always felt that "marriage" is something that the two people involved create together to their own unique relationship. March to the beat of your own drum - so to speak. My older bro and his "wife" have been together for 25 years - never legally wed - but rasised 4 children and are as committed if not more than those who did all the steps and prep and fancy weddings etc. My sis-in-law was married before - and didn't see the point in doing it all again traditionally. She changed her last name, but that's about it.
I think once you've committed yourself to another - it doesn't matter what societal limitations or preconceived notions are - what matters is what you've agreed upon together. IMHO  VOTE....EARLY | |
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DiminutiveRocker said: Although I am not married, I've always felt that "marriage" is something that the two people involved create together to their own unique relationship. March to the beat of your own drum - so to speak. My older bro and his "wife" have been together for 25 years - never legally wed - but rasised 4 children and are as committed if not more than those who did all the steps and prep and fancy weddings etc. My sis-in-law was married before - and didn't see the point in doing it all again traditionally. She changed her last name, but that's about it.
I think once you've committed yourself to another - it doesn't matter what societal limitations or preconceived notions are - what matters is what you've agreed upon together. IMHO AND THERE IT IS!!! The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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DiminutiveRocker said: Although I am not married, I've always felt that "marriage" is something that the two people involved create together to their own unique relationship. March to the beat of your own drum - so to speak. My older bro and his "wife" have been together for 25 years - never legally wed - but rasised 4 children and are as committed if not more than those who did all the steps and prep and fancy weddings etc. My sis-in-law was married before - and didn't see the point in doing it all again traditionally. She changed her last name, but that's about it.
I think once you've committed yourself to another - it doesn't matter what societal limitations or preconceived notions are - what matters is what you've agreed upon together. IMHO
I used to want to be married because I had a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Then I wanted it for companionship. Now I don't want it at all. Most of my married friends are miserable. | |
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I definitely see the value of making a verbal vow of commitment to your partner and including your loved ones as a part of that process. And for many legal reasons, it makes sense (if only for efficiency) to sign that "piece of paper".
But I can understand that it's not for everyone. Me? It's never been a goal of mine, and if I don't find it, I will still have a happy, healthy life. But I'm more open to it now than I ever have been in any other time in my life. It's something I think I even want... |
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Stymie said: DiminutiveRocker said: Although I am not married, I've always felt that "marriage" is something that the two people involved create together to their own unique relationship. March to the beat of your own drum - so to speak. My older bro and his "wife" have been together for 25 years - never legally wed - but rasised 4 children and are as committed if not more than those who did all the steps and prep and fancy weddings etc. My sis-in-law was married before - and didn't see the point in doing it all again traditionally. She changed her last name, but that's about it.
I think once you've committed yourself to another - it doesn't matter what societal limitations or preconceived notions are - what matters is what you've agreed upon together. IMHO
I used to want to be married because I had a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Then I wanted it for companionship. Now I don't want it at all. Most of my married friends are miserable. The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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Stymie said: DiminutiveRocker said: Although I am not married, I've always felt that "marriage" is something that the two people involved create together to their own unique relationship. March to the beat of your own drum - so to speak. My older bro and his "wife" have been together for 25 years - never legally wed - but rasised 4 children and are as committed if not more than those who did all the steps and prep and fancy weddings etc. My sis-in-law was married before - and didn't see the point in doing it all again traditionally. She changed her last name, but that's about it.
I think once you've committed yourself to another - it doesn't matter what societal limitations or preconceived notions are - what matters is what you've agreed upon together. IMHO
I used to want to be married because I had a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Then I wanted it for companionship. Now I don't want it at all. Most of my married friends are miserable. so are my single friends
I know of some really great marriages and some that suck.
its about the couple and their expectations for the relationship. | |
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Rhondab said: Stymie said:
I used to want to be married because I had a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Then I wanted it for companionship. Now I don't want it at all. Most of my married friends are miserable. so are my single friends
I know of some really great marriages and some that suck.
its about the couple and their expectations for the relationship. You are either Married and Bored...or...Single and Lonely!! Chris Rock The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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DexMSR said: Rhondab said: so are my single friends
I know of some really great marriages and some that suck.
its about the couple and their expectations for the relationship. You are either Married and Bored...or...Single and Lonely!! Chris Rock
and there it is..... | |
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Rhondab said: Stymie said:
I used to want to be married because I had a fear of being alone for the rest of my life. Then I wanted it for companionship. Now I don't want it at all. Most of my married friends are miserable. so are my single friends
I know of some really great marriages and some that suck.
its about the couple and their expectations for the relationship. I think that's the real question. Do you want to be miserable alone or miserable with someone else. Personally, I think hell on earth is best shared with someone else. But that's just my opinion. "Misery luvs company" an' all.... | |
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Rhondab said: DexMSR said: You are either Married and Bored...or...Single and Lonely!! Chris Rock
and there it is..... pretty much. | |
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It's sacred, IMHO and I am not bored! | |
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RodeoSchro said: It's sacred, IMHO and I am not bored!
I do think once you've committed yourself, it should be sacred. There should be bond so great you WANT to consider it sacred. | |
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Rhondab said: RodeoSchro said: It's sacred, IMHO and I am not bored!
I do think once you've committed yourself, it should be sacred. There should be bond so great you WANT to consider it sacred. But....do you need to be Married to have this?? The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them. -- Mark Twain.
BOB JOHNSON IS PART OF THE PROBLEM!! | |
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