So you've got your career going and then you meet Mr. Right, you get engaged, and you have a family chat

He tells you that he wants to quit his job and be a stay at home dad and raise a crumbsnatcher and probably never work the rest of his life. He expects you to take care of the finances.

YOU SAY

Dance said:

I say hell to da naw. I could understand if it was a couple of years, say before our child/children started school, but never work again for the rest of his life?! No

if he's willing to have sex with a gross ol' man and give birth, I'd say he's entitled!

AFTER I stop laughing my ass off. . . Nucca puhleaze!

But in reality, it often makes sense for one parent to stay home with the kids when you consider how expensive day care is. And with the number of women that outearn their spouses rising, this scenario is becoming more common, even if it wasn't necessarily "planned."

Flowerz said:

It's a loaded question. He's saying "what gives a woman the right to expect such a thing."

SCNDLS said:

Yeah, I think my girlfriend is okay with the idea. She likes to work. We can't afford it and don't have kids, but she's mentioned that it would theoretically be okay as long as I kept the house clean.

are you trying to create the DILF market all on your own ??

NDRU said:

ok .. im missin' something .. woman expect this? please splain this to me..

Flowerz said:

Well, I shouldn't put words in his mouth but that's how I read it.

NDRU said:

My best friend and her husband are considering it because they have 2 kids under the age of 2 in day care, which costs $1000 a month. Tax wise they'd actually come out ahead with just one income and she makes twice as much as he does. It's some strange days we're living in. I wouldn't be able to do it though.

NDRU said:

i mean, it's a different story if he's a hard worker and he's laid off and life gets a little tough.. that's normal.. months can go by and he find no work, but just telling me.. 'im just not going back to work and u go to work' uhm that's just not gonna work .. and with today's life and how expensive everything is (not to mention the luxuries.. and ppl gotta have an extra jacuzzi somewhere and go to the Bahamas) .. 2 ppl working makes it better...

first of all, we need to address the "not sharing of the drugs issue" because it's clear to me that yo cracked out ass is on somethin... is how that conversation would go.

the other conversation would start off with me saying, "bitch please" it wouldn't end well and the relationship would be over when I was done.

Statuesqque said:

..that's what im saying lol .. he gots to go!.. lol

Flowerz said:

the sad part is I know women that have marriages like this because she makes more money, so she works and he a stay at home dad.

What if he's really good with kids, great at fixing stuff, and has a bit of Emeril Lagasse in him?

Still hell no?

One4All4Ever said:

Dance said:

In all truth, this is the only part I have a real problem with. If it makes sense for him to stay home you gotta do what's best for the family. But as soon as the kids go to school, you KNOW he gotta find a J-O-B.

I know a guy who does it and it makes me hot.

If I were the marrying/relationship kind, I could seriously get down with having a househusband.

Dance said:

all wonderful qualities and added bonuses.. if he's that good in the kitchen, he can start his own business .. anything productive.. ill support him ..

Dance said:

then he would need to parlay his skills into and home business so he could be gainfully employeed.

Have you bumped your freakin head?

he keeps saying it all the time, but I can't earn as much as him he has the cushiest well paying job. In the near future it's not out of the question.

I don't know hwo I'd feel...there would have to be some sort of compromise.

I really want to stay home with my baby until it's around preschool age. Maybe that will change once I have a baby but right now I want to do the whole motherhood thing. Once the baby is about 3 or 4 we can take turns staying home and stuff but just having my husband staying home with the baby while I bust my ass working....um no. I'm not carrying around a baby for nine months, giving birth, and then handing the baby over...no way.

Dance said:

I couldn't possibly support 3 or more people on my salary alone. I couldn't comfortably support two. Hell, I got a second job just so I could have fun money.
BUT - if I had a better paying job and I could afford it, I'd probably be all about it. Whoever he is, he'd probably make a better stay-at-home parent than I would.

I was in this situation where we had two children together, I had more earning potential (making twice as much as him) and yes, I wanted him to stay home,since the childcare was so expensive, we were not keeping up with our expenses,.. but he wouldn't.

We split up and now he bitches about paying for child support while I work a seasonal job and stay at home with the kids.

NDRU said:

me too

paintedlady said:

well then he really needed to step his game up if he expected you to stay home when you were the one making the money.

i know that this isn't politically correct but i really don't know how i would deal with a man who was making a significant amount less than me. i guess it's just a hang up of mine.