In trying to find my niece's profile on Facebook, I came across a group dedicated to how "sexy" she is. While it seems to be a tongue-in-cheek thing started by one of her female friends, she is only 13. Here's my question:

Her parents are not very Internet-savvy and I'm wondering if I should let them know about this. I don't want to embarrass the child. Should I ask her if her parents know?

Honestly Ace, you should ask her parents why she has a facebook account.


I REALLY don't like minors on facebook and myspace.

yep....tell the parents.

I would want to know and I would expect you as my family or friend to tell me

I just had this talk with a lifelong friend of mine whos daughter had posted somewhat slutish pix on her myspace

Best wishes

Imago said:

All of her friends are on there, too.

Yikes.

Tough call.

I'd talk to her about it first and see what she says.

Who is in the group? Is it all other 13 year old girls? What is the content or comments?

If it is clean I would think you could leave it alone and monitor it. Unfortunately "sexy" has worked it's way into the vernacular to where it is used as a descriptor for young girls among themselves.

JustErin said:

If done right, you'll be able to tell from her 1st reaction if it is a problem or not.

Mach said:

This is nothing like that (like I said, it's very tongue-in-cheek). The only pics of her are snapshots with friends.

Mars23 said:

Well at 11 and 12 we said much much worse in our own circles when I was growing up.

I just think the Internet is a REALLY bad place for kids to be taking that dialogue. Although facebook is relatively secure compared to myspace, it still is unsettling to me.

Ace said:

:Ace-spoke-to-me-directly: ~faints~

Mars23 said:

All friends; all female but two. All comments are innocent.

Ace said:

Understood
13 yr olds are generally a bit more innocent then 16 yr olds "I" as the mother of 2 beautiful daughtes would want to know ( and I would be more involved IN knowing ) what they are doing online

just my 2 cents though

Imago said:

Mach said:

You know Dan's mom?

Ace said:

I don't see it as a big deal then. I'd be more concerned if she was on the Org.

Ace said:

so you're tripping about the word "SEXY".

I thought she was on there with her booty out.


I would just talk with her about sexualizing herself and others on a forum like that.

mdiver said:

and if he doesn't remove the pix she's grounding him !

Mars23 said:

Ya, I'd not worry too much about it as well.

Rhondab said:

yes, that at the very least

Mach said:

Wait till she sees the "sex grease" pic

Rhondab said:

Well, she didn't start this group, but I think that's a good idea, anyway.

Mach said:

Mach has a good point, but for me it would hinge on if the parents could be cool about it and not embarrass her. Just my opinion, but if it is all innocent I would consider what she could be doing and feel lucky if this is the worst.

I know I'm gonna sound like a grumbly old man...but young teens using the word "sexy" bothers me...

Just my thoughts, but I feel parents really need to watch what their kids are doing on the internet. Something that might seem harmless, can lead into other things. I would have a talk with her first,see what this group is about and then her parents. They should be aware of what's going on.

But that's just me.

These days you can't keep kids from being on those sites. If they're forbidden at home they can go to the library or a friends house. I would tell her parents and you all monitor her activity as much as you can. Make sure her own accounts are private. I don't think you can do much more than that unfortunately.

i'm not a parent
but no child should have facebook until they're at the very least 16. and even then

i have a few nieces on facebook and wow...

i'd tell the parents if you're seeing anything lewd...
but if it's just in the title how sexy she is, and as long as there aren't any pictures furthering any proof on the allegation, leave it be.

she'd have a hard time trusting you again.

You might just need to ask her parents if they're aware of the group "dedicated" to your daughter, without making it sound like you're issuing any judgements. It very well could be that they've seen it, or even that your niece pointed it out to them already.

Any parent would (or should) want to know. It allows them to make proper decisions, and to at least be aware that something may need more monitoring. I'd want to know.

My 14 year old niece has a myspace account but it's set to private. Her parents asked me about it as they know that she first saw myspace when she was staying with me and I told them that I don't see a problem with her having an account.

Not a parent but.... tell her parents.