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Middle school issues ban on intentional flatulence

CAMDEN (Feb 1): The Merriam Webster Dictionary definition for flatulence is brief: "flatus expelled through the anus." And while it's a natural bodily function, it seems some Camden-Rockport Middle School eighth-grade boys are taking it to new heights and making a game of seeing who can expel the loudest and grossest flatus.

According to this week's Fire Cracker school newsletter though, the joke's on the boys as the penalty for "intentional farting" is now a detention.

"Strange, but true, thanks to a bunch of 8th grade boys, intentional farting has been banned from CRMS," the newsletter said. "It started out as a funny joke and eventually turned into a game. This is the first rule at CRMS that prevents the use of natural bodily functions. The penalty for intentional farting is a detention, so keep it to yourself!"

According to a group of seventh-grade students milling around downtown following Friday's storm-related early release, the eighth-graders' escapades are well known in the school.

"They would do it in science class and other places," said Jordan Tyler. "It's a natural occurrence and we all do it 16 times a day."

When questioned where he learned that information, Tyler and the other students all said it was true, though they couldn't remember where they heard it.

One of the other students, Kyle Ruger, said the act by the boys was funny, but he had mixed feelings about whether it was appropriate.

Jordan Knowlton minced no words when she expressed how she felt, saying, "It's gross."

Remy LeVine said he was in the class when CRMS science teacher Brad LaRoche talked to all the eighth-grade boys about the issue, as well as the consequences.

Attempts to reach CRMS Principal Maria Libby Friday afternoon were unsuccessful and school Superintendent Patricia Hopkins said she had not heard anything about the issue or the alleged suspected result, though she did get a good chuckle out of the news.

GOOD, dammit!

Anxiety said:

Exactly!!!


I wish we could ban it EVERYWHERE!!

They could call it the "Leave No Child's Behind" program.

I don't understand how they are doing it intentionally. how can you make your self fart?

any way there was a boy in my 5th grade class who looked like John Leguizamo and he used to do it all the time. Once a girl said "ewww it smells like peanuts"

can't remember my teacher's name but I remember this

heybaby said:

And how will they know if they are doing it on purpose or if it slipped?! This is one of the silliest things i've ever heard!

2the9s said:

Jeez, why don't they just skip to the chase and castrate them

Raze said:

How do they prove that it was intentional? Do they have some kinda Fart Tribunal? Or do they just assume that anyone who farts is doing it on purpose? And how do you ban a fart anyway? Plug ‘em all up just to make sure?

are u serious?

Farting in class is funny as hell. I've never done it but I knew a few people who did. The class would get real quiet like during a test and someone would just let one go. Or like when the teacher was about to sit down someone would make the fart noise " @ Ms. Johnston "

I went to lunch with some bankers one time, and one of them let a loud one on purpose.

His bank failed a few months later. I wasn't surprised.

we should make this an ORG rule too

This is obviously a right wing notion.

heybaby said:

I am laughing so hard!! I have an image of him in drag waving his hands saying it smells like peanuts!!!

I am so amused!

Farting in schools was not a problem for me...it was that nasty little boy that would pick his nose and eat his boogers that had me gagging. Nasty little children!!